emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 years and i fear we may break up soon. She is everything I want except we do not have sex, or even mess around anymore. When we first started dating we would kinda mess around, like kissing, and touching. She would always be the one to start it since she loved it! She always talked about having sex, but we never really did since we never got the chance to. Out of the 4 years, we've probably had sex like 6 times. We live with our parents and there would always be someone there so we couldn't ever, but I was happy with what we were doing, and i was happy to wait until we had a moment. She always said if we ever get the chance when no one is home we should just jump on it. We gradually started to mess around less and less, and we get the chance to have sex all the time now and she never wants to. I'll even try to just mess around and she won't have it. She lies there like a dead fish and will onyl allow kissing. After this I almost felt lied to since she would promise we would if we had a chance. I got very frustrated and i guess i would get grumpy with her. This caused me to get dissappointed and unhappy around her if she didn't want to when we had the chance. I asked her why and we got into a huge fight, she says "why would i want to have sex if your a grouch all the time." But i only got unhappy since we werent. She says she doesn't want sex or mess around anymore. She said she's changed and she's not that kind of girl anymore. So now we're at a standpioint and i don't know what to do. She isn't willing to do anything, but i need it. Am i being selfish or something? I don't want to throw away a perfect relationship over sex, but i don't think i can go without sex. She said she is really pissed since i get get grumpy when we don't and i agree that won't make her to want to more, but she looks at it like "what makes you think you're entitled to sex? im not gonna have sex with you just so you don;t get mad at me." anyway i don't know what to do. We both want change, i want some intimacy, and she wants me to stop being mad all the time. She almost seemed like she would be all right with breaking up. I don't want to break up, i love her sooo much and we put so much into this relationship to end it. also, i lost all my friends since i gave all my time to her. Any advice? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 move on immediately Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 You had sex 6 times out of 4 years? Technically, you wouldn't be loosing much of a sex life... She's probably not intrested, because you both never hardly did it. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 >>She said she's changed and she's not that kind of girl anymore. It is normal to have sex with your partner. If she has some moral problems with sex before marriage, then this may be big trouble, because she also just may not enjoy sex and marrying her means you are stuck without sex for life. By not having sex with you, she is depriving you of sex, so she is saying she doesn't care about your sexual needs. if YOU care about them, then she has to change or you have to change to a new girlfriend who has a normal sexual libido. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 4 years and 6 times. well, that is 2 more times more in there than the average married couple. lol i would have been confused dating the first month of this. i'd of been out a long time ago. and you should never lose friends because of a girl. friends will be around forever no matter what. any gf/wife, etc should understand that and respect your friendship. Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 well she would always say we would, and i believed it, we just couldn't cause people were around. We used to do everything up to sex, but that has even come down to zero. if i leave, i've got no one else. She is my best friend and my girlfriend. i put all my time into this relationship and my other friends have moved on and weve grown apart. the problem is, we cant break up and stil be friends. theres a bunch of vultures that have been circling us for a while, and i think she mightlike one of them. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 if you got no one else, keep seeing her until you find someone who will fulfill your desires *sarcasm* Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 well she said shes changed, the not moral problems, she just doesn't like doing it i guess. why would she change like that? like i said we used to do eveything up to sex and we both loved it, she would be the one to start it but now nothing. i stuck with the relationship because she is everything im looking for ina girl except sex, and it was my first girlfriend. i didn;t know how fast things should move Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 well she said shes changed, the not moral problems, she just doesn't like doing it i guess. why would she change like that? like i said we used to do eveything up to sex and we both loved it, she would be the one to start it but now nothing. i stuck with the relationship because she is everything im looking for ina girl except sex, and it was my first girlfriend. i didn;t know how fast things should move she changed? bro, sex 6 times in 4 years to nothing at all is not change. it was nothing to begin with. -*shortys/vision/toy machine* that's my style nobody else will probably know what i just said. Link to comment
mrmaximum Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 >>She said she's changed and she's not that kind of girl anymore. It is normal to have sex with your partner. If she has some moral problems with sex before marriage, then this may be big trouble, because she also just may not enjoy sex and marrying her means you are stuck without sex for life. By not having sex with you, she is depriving you of sex, so she is saying she doesn't care about your sexual needs. if YOU care about them, then she has to change or you have to change to a new girlfriend who has a normal sexual libido. My sentiments exactly. Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 well we still did stuff, everything up to actual sex. we used to watch movies and mess around, like making out and touching, but not even that anymore. and she would always be the one to want to. sure i wasn't having sex, but i always thought we would. youve gotta understand, we live with our parents, and for the first year i didnt even have a car so it was hard to do anything. thenwe got too busy with school and by the time we get home theres people home. but it was always like we would if we could Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 but i mean we messed around EVERYDAY up in her room, but we coudlnt actually have sex in case someone wlaked in. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 but your hand up her shirt was ok for dad? Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 no, we could do stuff like that cuz we can stop if someone is coming Link to comment
alcide Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 She is seein someone else. Get out fast. Link to comment
alcide Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 What ever dont u two share rooms? SMALL MATTER. Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 but ive got no one else! thats the problem. and i thought maybe i cna just be friends with her and try to find someone else, but if i wont be able to see her with another guy. if i can find someone and she does too that would be ok, but i dont wanna lose her and not have anyone Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 no, we could do stuff like that cuz we can stop if someone is coming have her keep her thong wrapped around one ankle in case mom brings the laundry upstairs Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 we dont live together Link to comment
Ben Bax Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 but ive got no one else! thats the problem. and i thought maybe i cna just be friends with her and try to find someone else, but if i wont be able to see her with another guy. if i can find someone and she does too that would be ok, but i dont wanna lose her and not have anyone err, so you'd rather stay with a girl that can't give you what you want because you're scared of the big wide world. Seriously.... Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 we dont live together stop making excusesand gitter done Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 have you been with a girl for 4 years? we are very attached and i love everythign about her except for this. think theres any luck in trying to change it? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 have you been with a girl for 4 years? we are very attached and i love everythign about her except for this. think theres any luck in trying to change it? for longer......only through couples counseling will this have a chance to change Link to comment
emericaskater Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 but my problem is besides this one thing, SHE IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. i dont wanna make a mistake and lose her and not find someone as perfect as she is. what if i just keep running into the same problem. she is almost everythng i want, but if i dont find someone i like, then i just lost someone i get along with very well.is it worth losing that? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 only you can decide that Link to comment
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