QuestionHeart Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I guess if you are in a serious LDR, you are under the assumption that there is such a thing as one person who is meant to be and made just for you and this person lives far far away, which is not enough for you to throw in the towel. So my question is, if you can find a person who lives five minutes away, that you can love and can love you. Why now be with that person? I mean yes they may not seem as wonderful at first but after a while they would be just as wonderful, not to mention much more easier and realistic. So, why? Link to comment
m12988 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 When a couple is that much in love, they have no choice but to overlook it, and i'm speaking from experience. I met my fiance online in 2003 and he lived in CA, i live in Louisiana. We started as friends, became bf/gf (i was like, ah online relationship, not serious at all) kind of how you thinking right now. Then, somehow things progressed and we fell in love (yes, over the internet and phone calls). In 2005 he started flying over and visiting me and i visited him and he moved here in late 2006. Flying as you can imagine is costly and time consuming. This relationship in its early years was painful (wanting to see each other and be together but so far away) and its getting better and better. We have to plan trips for him to visit family, it isn't easy to find the time off from work and the expenses. Now we wonder, how we can have a wedding and have family events where we can have both our families together in the same place at the same time. It probably will never happen. one of us will have to be away from our families no matter where we live. Its very challenging and I envy people with a more simpler life, but i wouldn't trade my relationship for the world. Could i have had someone next door? Yep, but it would never be the same and our love for each other is too strong to just break off over distance. Most of the time, you have to have been in a very true, strong love to understand how it is. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I looked next door and found the selection to be bland. I don't think you can compare one lover to another, people will never be the same. Giving up something and someone wonderful for the sake of convenience isn't a compromise I'm willing to make. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 It depends on how much you love someone who isn't merely convenient. Link to comment
QuestionHeart Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 You really believe that with time you and he would not be able to find another love that is equally as wonderful in a different way---and much closer? Link to comment
surfNski Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I would much rather find someone next door, but I wont rule out someone on the other side of the world. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 You really believe that with time you and he would not be able to find another love that is equally as wonderful in a different way---and much closer? The thing is I don't want to find another. There is a perfectly good saying, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. You have love, why ruin it for a "what if" that may be closer. Not to mention that you are never going to find the same kind of relationship with another person. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 You really believe that with time you and he would not be able to find another love that is equally as wonderful in a different way---and much closer? i agree with you. I don't want to uproot my life for someone i met online. Link to comment
Ninotschka Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 What you don't get is that we weren't actually looking for a partner, next door or anywhere else. We were perfectly happy on our own. But well, things just happen. And it's worth it. Link to comment
Gath Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 So, why? Because she's worth it. Link to comment
QuestionHeart Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 You must have some really low standards for what you're looking for in a potential mate if you think they're so easily replaceable. That's actually pretty sad. Yeah youre right, im just lookin for a nice guy that i can have an actual relationship with on a daily basis. And who will love me and who I can love-in the same house-everyday-like normal people. Link to comment
QuestionHeart Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 The thing is I don't want to find another. There is a perfectly good saying, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. You have love, why ruin it for a "what if" that may be closer. Not to mention that you are never going to find the same kind of relationship with another person. The same? No. Better? Perhaps not. Just as good? Very likely. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Because he's worth it and because the long distance is temporary. In the 2 years we've been together we've been long distance for about half of it. We've been able to see each other about every two weeks while we're long distance, we talk on the phone (both very good phone people!) every day and we knew each other for a decade before we started dating this time (we had dated years ago) and before we were long distance. Also we both know that if things work out the long distance can be resolved in the near future. I would not start an LDR with someone I didn't already know very well, where we couldn't see each other at least every two weeks, where we weren't serious minded and where there wasn't a realistic and strong possibility of being in the same location in the not too distant future without significant uprooting. That's a lot of conditions because I believe that LDRs can be too heavily focused on fantasy if you don't see each other regularly. I find the statement about meeting someone next door a little flip - it's not always easy to meet someone next door if you are a person who wants to find the right match, not just a warm body. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 The same? No. Better? Perhaps not. Just as good? Very likely. Highly doubtful. Your standards maybe such that any warm body will do, but I'm partial to the man I love. He's unique and worth the distance. Link to comment
rikka Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 My relationship started off "next door" and went long distance. Yes it has been hard, but it has been worth it. I wouldn't trade my guy for a million guys next door! And even though my situation is different, I can agree with some of the others on this thread.... sometimes it is something that is more than worth it. Sometimes love and life isn't always convienient. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 I'm no longer in a long-distance relationship, but part of why I was in one was because there simply wasn't anyone in the area that shared my interests. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.