Catatonic Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 I think I'm confusing the guy I'm seeing. He complains every time I see him that I'm too slow and that my body language is hard to read yet he rarely makes a move himself. He also doubted me when I told him it was my first time kissing anyone, and said that I'm not good at showing emotions. At first I thought that he was complaining because he wanted to progress more but now I'm starting to think that he complains because he's not sure of my feelings for him. What can I do to show that I want him to hug and kiss me (other than me initiating)? Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Man does this ever sound familiar. Sometimes it's hard to express oneself in person even for those of us who aren't a little shy. Perhaps you two should stike up an email conversation to assist. I find it easier sometimes to say things in that method (or text or chat or whatever) Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 What does he mean by you're too slow? Too slow to make a move? If that's what he means, then I wouldn't like that. Why the rush? And if he's really that confused about how you feel, then he could be mature and just ask instead of telling you think you're doing wrong. Link to comment
Catatonic Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Man does this ever sound familiar. Sometimes it's hard to express oneself in person even for those of us who aren't a little shy. Perhaps you two should stike up an email conversation to assist. I find it easier sometimes to say things in that method (or text or chat or whatever) Yes we do chat online but we don't express lovey-dovey stuff through it. Actually, we haven't started talking about our feelings toward each other at all. Link to comment
Catatonic Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 What does he mean by you're too slow? Too slow to make a move? If that's what he means, then I wouldn't like that. Why the rush? And if he's really that confused about how you feel, then he could be mature and just ask instead of telling you think you're doing wrong. I felt completely the same way until I realized that maybe he's a little intimidated. For example, when he asked me about my past history and how many partners I had, I hesitated because I have had none. When he saw me hesitate, he asked, "lots? like a hundred?" Obviously it was a joke but I think he expected that I had a lot of experience. He was also surprised that I had no experience in kissing. After we started kissing, he doubted me and said, "so that wasn't your first time kissing, right?" and that I was too good for a first timer. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do to assure him that I'm telling the truth and that even though I want to take things slow, that I really do like him. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Well with the kissing comment, he may have just been saying that as a compliment...like you're a good kisser. I'd say that you shouldn't concentrate so much on reassuring him that you're interested. As long as you return his interest, he can figure it out. Just don't let him pressure you into anything you're not comfortable doing in the name of showing him that you like him. Link to comment
Catatonic Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hmm...you're right. But I know that I don't reciprocate the interest as much. He puts in most of the effort in the dates and giving me little gifts and doing nice little things for me. I like spending time with him so I show interest in that way but not by much else...I do think that he likes me a bit more than I like him, but I'm also the slow to warm-up kind of person. It's also true that I'm starting to enjoy kissing him but am too embarrassed to and it probably shows in my body language. EDIT: My friend says that it's okay and that I shouldn't get too attached to a boy. That it's always better for the guy to like you a little more than you like him...I don't think that's fair but somehow it's how this is turning out... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I don't think it matters who likes who more. As long as you want to keep seeing him, you're OK. Don't put so much thought into it. Maybe it'd help to make sure you do some nice things for him, maybe take him out on a date. And make sure he's not always initiating the contact, call him too here and there. Just make sure you're going at a pace that YOU are comfortable with. Just because he likes you a lot doesn't mean you have to warm up faster than you are used to. If he starts to get upset, just explain to him that this is the way you work. If he's worth it, he'll be patient. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 EDIT: My friend says that it's okay and that I shouldn't get too attached to a boy. That it's always better for the guy to like you a little more than you like him...I don't think that's fair but somehow it's how this is turning out... I disagree with your friend. Live your life. Like as much as you like him and let the chips fall where they may. How does one qualify amount of "like" anyway - it's all individual. Link to comment
Catatonic Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Not putting too much thought is hard for me right now. Especially since the last time I let my heart overrule my head, I got horribly shredded and burned. But I can tell that he's a good guy overall so I'm trying to just enjoy my time with him. Actually, I've been wanting to do something nice for him lately and have been trying to think of a nice surprise for him. Thanks for the help, C. orange & Daligal! Link to comment
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