curious11 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 It has been a while since I last came to this website. It did help me out during my breakup, but i never really got much out of it. After the break up i had been going down hill, and EVERYBODY knew it. I started doing oxycontin, to the point where i drained my bank account and left myself with the worst depression ever. I have been clean now for 2 months, and luckily im only 19 so i do have a choice. The thing is, while all this was going on i was trying to maintain a relationship with my ex. That didnt turn out so well, i did things i would have never done. I annoyed her, i begged, called, yelled, cried... i did everything possible to push her away. It went on for quite sometime, and i will never be the same person i was to her a year ago. And im fine with that now. After being clean, and working on my self, i have never been this happy in a long time. I still think i love her though. But her feelings for me have vanished. I had to listen to her friends the other day tell me that i have to stop dwelling on this girl, and that my self esteem is gone because of her. And i just looked at them and said "you know what, its not that, i have just grown up and matured while you guys are still living 15". I keep to myself now, i work 50 hours a week, and i live a day at a time. But i do want to make amends someday. And i just dont know how since the last 10 times i tried i was high. I may just let it go forever, but for some reason guys, especially me, HAVE to make things right. Thanks for listening. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 take it as a loss. you don't have to make anything better with her. the only reason i can see you want to is because you want to get a reaction out of her and maybe date again. Link to comment
curious11 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 I dont necessarily want to date again, im actually happy now, and enjoy being single. I just want her to give me some sort of reaction that she cares a lot, your right about that... because she never did once. Link to comment
Momene Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I'm afraid that you just haven't let her go. She's out of your life and you need to accept it, difficult though it is. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I'm afraid that you just haven't let her go. She's out of your life and you need to accept it, difficult though it is. i agree. not wanting to date and get a rise out of an ex shows that. Link to comment
curious11 Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 thats true... it hasnt bothered me as much lately. Not really at all. I have other problems im dealing with now, and one of them is my own friends saying things behind my back. I found that out tonight and it really hurt my feelings. Ive never had anyone say anything bad about me behind my back before. Just been a real tough year. Things will get better though. Link to comment
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