Jonboy582 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Hi Just wanted to know if this was common or any reasons for it. Pretty much when me and my gf broke up we would have sex or do something sexual such as oral about once a month or so. Now we have broken up we are like coming back together I guess but officially "friends with benefits". So why has our sex life gone from dismal to really really good in comparison? Jon Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 When you're in a relationship, if things are going wrong it affects your sex life. Now that you aren't in a relationship, those issues aren't there anymore and you guys are just enjoying having fun with each other. Link to comment
beth116 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Hey. My experience with this is that once i'd broken up with a boyfriend, if we continued to have sex it was SO much better than when we were tohether. I think it ihas to do with attitudes towards sex and attachment. When you're together it's a given that you have sex: it's what you do in a relationship. Once broken up, there's this underlying feeling that each time could be the last time you're together with the person, so you make the extra effort. I found that I got extra intense when i thought that it was the 'last hurrah' so to speak. even if it happened repeatedley over a month or so. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 It is because the sex you are having now is just all about sex and nothing more...no emotions...just pure animal instinct. One of you will ultimately start feeling more again and that's when the trouble will start. Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Yeah thats true the quality is much better now too. Trying allot more things now as well. Also before she got this crazy notion I was with her just cos I wanted sex with her which made her not want sex with me lol. As for feelings thats where it gets confusing. We both have them still, but happy for the moment to just have something much more casual. We still hold hands in public fall asleep cuddling have sex and act like we are together but have no strings attached. So at the moment its working (I have even now been told we can have a 3 some with another girl of my choice). As we are not going out all I can say is Hope I find a girl lol. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Wow, something tells me this is going to eventually blow up..and the threesome might be the catalyst. Tread very carefully. She doesn't make much sense...she didn't want to have sex with you when you were seeing each other because she was afraid that was all you wanted from her...but now that you are no longer a couple and are just using each other for sex, she is okay with it...huh??? Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Wow, something tells me this is going to eventually blow up..and the threesome might be the catalyst. Tread very carefully. She doesn't make much sense...she didn't want to have sex with you when you were seeing each other because she was afraid that was all you wanted from her...but now that you are no longer a couple and are just using each other for sex, she is okay with it...huh??? Yes I know confusing! People ask "so whats up with you and **** now" and all I can say is "were complicated". This really is a situation I never seen anyone in before and don't quite know how to handle it. So I have decided I am going to enjoy it as much as I can for as long as it happens. If we get back together then great I will give it a good shot if not then well I am not with her now so not loosing anything well I am but am not kinda lol. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 But what about her? Perhaps she will have expectations in the future. These FWB situations usually end in a lot of pain for one person and ultimately in a lot of bitter feelings. Who broke up with whom? I really think some deeper issues are being swept under the rug all for the sake of getting laid. I would caution you not to stick your head in the sand and be blasé about this because chances are when it does end, it won't end happily...it typically never does. Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 If anything its probably me who is going to get hurt to be honest but for now we happier together than we have been for a long time. We have said we are going to start dating again if she still wants to go through with things. I respect what your saying and know your probably right but I been suffering from depression and at the moment it seems to be under control the way things are and dont want to change that. I seem 1000 times happier after sex and knowing it was good for her to. But yes as I said I dont want to risk he feelings and I will go completely at her pace. Jon Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 cause u can kick her out now. Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 cause u can kick her out now.I'm confused what do you mean by that? Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 He means that you're not obligated to the typical relationship stuff. You can have sex and that's it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I'm confused what do you mean by that? you can tell her to leave without an argument. you know in your head that you have no ties. you have the power to call the whole thing off if you wanted to. Link to comment
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