Making the first mocve

[promise1]

Me and ex live in a small city......we are likely to bump into each other,

 

The situation between us is not good - infact is very ackward.

 

We have beern split for 11 months - but evern upto 3 months ago - she told me she was still very hurt by our break up (so am I).

 

 

She may be in a relationship - but I was looking to open up communication with her. This well be hard because she has so little trust in me - but I'd like to get things on a friendlier footing. Any suggestions for how I can do this - without sounding weak, needy or clingy (I don't feel this but e-mails can often read that way)?

[renaissancewoman101]

I would wait for a bit and see if you run into her in the city. If you do, maybe you can make an overture about getting together and talkng.

[lilypadgirl]

Wow, if not for the 11 months, I'd almost think you were my ex! So, I'd like to first applaud you for wanting to make the first move.

 

But it really depends on the circumstances of the breakup. Who was the dumper/dumpee and how far moved on is she? If contacting her is going to bring up more pain, then it's best to just let her be happy in her new relationship. But if contacting her is going to help bring that final closure so you can both can make things less awkward, then just send a brief email hoping that she's well and leaving an open offer to talk anytime she feels ready. I don't think emails sound needy or clingy if worded the right way and brief.

 

Personally, I'd always appreciate having the air cleared, especially when I'm the dumpee.