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Me and my bf have been goin out for 3 years now I love

him dearly we have our ups and downs BUT everytime we make

love he always mentions making love with other guys

for the simple fact that he is bisexual and it is in one of his

fantasies. He knows that I still have a hard time dealing

with it even after 3 1/2 years I know that if I truly love him

I shouldn't feel this way BUT it is just not my type. This is depressing

and confusing as well because I can't talk about this with anybody

I know so really I just keep it to myself, most of the time we end

up making fun of each other him being bi and me being an ethnic minority(filipino/spanish).It's a never ending cycle today I caught him staring

at 2 guys and that just pisses me off.....

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Sounds to me like your boyfriend has some issues you and him need to have a serious talk about.


First, while some people would advocate/comdemn homsexuality as a choice; I will state that it is also very likely a genetic tendency as well. I will pass no more judgement on the issue on hand while I continue to respond to this post.


It's likely that your boyfriend will not change his ways. It's also very likely that he will probably leave you eventually, as well, for another guy.


Also, how do you know that he has not been with a couple of guys on the side? You know gay men can get away with being a little less faithful than strait couples...


Well, what ever you do maintain open communication with him, and if not then leave him. There is no point in staying with a man that will not be faithful.





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I never ceases to amaze me about some bi - sexual people, for some reason they think that because they are bi, that its ok to have two partners. as if it was their right or something,


doesnt matter his sexual preferences, if he is in a relationship with you he should be commited to you. there is no difference in this then say, me telling my girl I find that redhead in the store accross the street hot.


He should be commited to you, because you are the partner he chose, and that you want to be with, but he constantly talks about guys and looks at them.


this isnt so much a Bi issue, its a commtment issue, his lack of dedication to you only.


Let me put it this way, if he was looking at other girls and telling you how much he wanted to be with other women, would you be wondering what to do? of course not, you know what you would do in that situation, so why is it different with a Bi, where is it written that Bi's are special that dont need to be faithful to one partner.


Not all Bi sexual people are like him, they are attracted to both sexes, but chose one person to be with. hey i am attracted to all kinds of women, doesnt give me the right to have one of each kind, all at the same time.

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The worst thing I see here is his continued refusal to respect your feelings and tendency to even rub this issue in your face. After 3 1/2 years, you deserve MUCH better. You have already talked to him and he still insists on saying and doing these things. It's your choice, but you should consider leaving him, if not for his bisexuality per se, for his insensitivity towards you.

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Gilgamesh summed up my feelings well.


Being bisexual shouldn't be a license to be less committed to a chosen partner. If you wouldn't tolerate his telling you how he fantasizes of being with other women - you shouldn't have to live with this either. And while you're having sex? Come on now, that's demeaning. And as others have said, disrespectful. Somehow I don't think the looking (which a lot of people look) would be such an issue if he wasn't making you feel inadequate.


I'd sit him down and have a little talk with him... tell him it has nothing to do with his being bi, you knew that when he wanted you for his girl. It has everything to do with respect and committment, and you don't expect any less of him than you would of a straight guy in that area, being bi doesn't make him morally crippled. If he's not committed, he needs to tell you instead of dragging you through this. And if he tries to feed you "I can't help it" because it's "different," tell him to go sell that line to someone with a higher BS tolerance level, not you. You deserve better than that.

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heya ... well.... i dont like it how people are making it out that all bi's are like that...... Im bi and i have a bf .. doenst mean im going to go and cheat on him with a random girl... your right it doesnt state that bi's can have 2 partners.. and it probably is him... not all bi's are like that.... ok after my little rant .... just tell him how it makes you feel when he talks about it all the time.... ask him if he would rather be with a guy than u?.. make him make his mind up... ask him if he would like it if you were going on about other guys all the time... just put him in the picture hun.. and dont let him take you for a fool...

hope this is some help


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OK first i want to say i agree with ~Hopskotch~ im not bi or nothing but i have plenty of bi sexual friends and there is nothing wrong about them at all they are just like you but with a different sexual preference so quit making it out to being bad.....secondly i wanted to point out what gilgamesh said.....I never ceases to amaze me about some bi - sexual people, for some reason they think that because they are bi, that its ok to have two partners. as if it was their right or something, now THAT is not true at all just cause someone is bi does not mean there going to go and date two people at once...and back to the main topic about this guy i think you should stay with him if you have been dating for 3 years then i dont think hes going tochange his mind for a guy right now and it doesnt mean he has to be looking at another guy he could be looking at other girls......just saying please dont single out people that you dont think are as good as you because they are different in their sexual preferences.



PDC A.K.A puffdaddycurl

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I trust him so I know that he will never cheat on me

because I told him there are only 2 reasons that would

make me leave him if he physically abuse me or cheats

on me. I mean it's normal for him to feel that way but

sometimes it's just too much. I appreciate all the advice

we talk about it and that's cool. THANKS!!

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