Feel there is no one else for me anymore... and I am looking

[S agapo]

Just the thought of me meeting someone else makes me sick and some what guilty for even thinking or trying.

 

8 months since we broke up and I can not get him out of my system. In a way I don't want b'cos I want him back and for him mostly to want me back.

Its not going to happen b'cos I am sure he has a girlfriend by now. And as much as not knowing for sure I feel the pain in my heart as if I knew already. I feel jealous and sick just at the thought that he could be happy else where; being with her, kissing her, hugging her.. with her

 

I am trying to move on and let go, but I am struggling b'cos I miss him so much it hurts deeply.

 

I don't understand how I could still feel this way for someone who hasn't shown himself or any interest in me since we broke up.

 

I keep going over in my mind everything, and its draining b'cos I feel somewhat deeply disappointed in him as well from myself that we didn't work out.

 

 

I don't know how I am going to move on as I have so much negative out look on things.

 

Deep down I know I will never find what I found in him & felt. It feels like a one off. It feels I got a taste of what it was like to have met someone that I felt for so much in most I look for in a man, and now taken away from me.

 

I feel so alone, lost and empty right now.

 

I feel like a failure that he has truly fortgotton about me forvever.

[terk2021]

Gemini,

 

I am sorry to hear what you are going through, and I can certainly relate. I don't want to post my story here, but last year, I lost the love of my life 1.5 months before our planned wedding date. First off, it's OK to grieve over your loss, and not let anyone tell you how long that will take. The most important thing is that you learn to grow from it every day.

 

I have received so much advice from this board, whether it's NC, it's not my fault, to get back out there, and learn to look forwards, not backwards. I ended the last part of the year in 2006 not wanting to leave the house, did not care about my job, friends, and whatever else was going on in my life. I grieved, and grieved, and wondered what I did wrong. After another few months in 2007, I learned to pull myself off of the mat, and get back into a few things, 1 step at a time.

 

Try and remember when you met this person. How good did it feel? How wonderful was it when you were together? How does it feel when you are apart now? I think you answered that one above.

 

There is someone out there, feeling the same way you are, and would be honored to become that person you fell in love with. The advice I always used to give my friends were that everything happens for a reason. When they gave that advice back to me, I didn't want to listen. I tuned out most of the advice I received, and felt that the whole world did not understand what I was going through.

 

We don't want to hear that there are others out there going through the same thing we are/were... Family gets tired of hearing about it, friends get tired of hearing about it. I tried the depression meds, seeing a doctor, but nothing brought the love of my life back, and in the end, I felt that was the only remedy to get me back to where I was happy.

 

Ask yourself, is the person you miss so much the same person you are grieving over now? My guess would be no. I am not a big fan of country music, but there is a song by Rascal Flatts called "God blessed the broken road". Download the song, or at least look up the lyrics.

 

It's a story of a journey. A series of relationships that went bad, but they all lead up to meeting the person you are supposed to be with. Don't give up hope. Get back out there and start living life again. Maybe you will find that person in a week, a month, a year, or even longer.

 

If I had not lost what I felt was the "love of my life", I would never have found my fiance. What I learned in that lesson was the person I got engaged to was not the person I was about to marry in 2006.

 

I won't say that life has been better ever since, but I can assure you that ultimately, us not being together anymore is a blessing. I wanted it so bad, but looking further into the relationship, I discovered she was not the same person. I am not saying that you may not receive the ultimate in what you want right now in having this person back in your life, but there are so many people out there that would be blessed to have you in their life.

 

Ultimately, I think deep down inside you know you deserve better. Here I sit a year and a half later and there is a big part of me that still loves her and would look forward to a call from her telling me she made the biggest mistake of her life. But, I also know that there are some incredible women out there looking for a man like me with so much love to give and receive, that someday I know I will look back at the hands I have been dealt over the past 6 years, and truly believe that she is out there, and we will meet when the time is right.

 

I hope this helps. I wish you the best, and feel free to PM me anytime. When you do get through this, and I know you will, you will find yourself coming back out to enotalone and supporting others. It's nice to know we are not alone in this world, and this is a great place to come out and post your thoughts, and help others as well.

 

Terk

[Batya33]

I understand the feelings of lost and empty but is it possible that rather than looking for someone to enhance and complement your life you were looking for someone to "make" you a life so that without him you feel you have no life? Of course feeling lost and empty is so normal when a break up happens but if it continues for a long time it might be more about you not having a life as opposed to him no longer being in your life.

 

Take care.

[S agapo]

I know I didn't deserve such heart ache and even tho our relationshio wasn't as serious as any other b'cos it was LD, it was my relationship that i took seriously. I never ever had opened any such feelings deeply for any one, and when I found myself opening those feelings for him I needed more from him. For him to show me that this is what he wanted. There were doubts in my mind how he truly felt and it showed at the end. Dunno if I made his escape easier when he asked for space after I got very upset with him.

 

I feel I wasn't good enough for him to want anything with me. I feel I was blinded and fooled.

 

For what ever reasons, he didn't allow himself to be truly open and honest with me reasoning why I will never understand why he changed his mind.

 

I am sure he has changed, and isn't the person I knew. Maybe I didn't really know him. I did feel he was shutting me out in his life and that what caused me to question his intensions for me and the future. He never introduced me to his friends and family. He wasn't sure or what ever even tho the last few months b4 we eneded we got close after a year dating.

[S agapo]

I understand the feelings of lost and empty but is it possible that rather than looking for someone to enhance and complement your life you were looking for someone to "make" you a life so that without him you feel you have no life? Of course feeling lost and empty is so normal when a break up happens but if it continues for a long time it might be more about you not having a life as opposed to him no longer being in your life.

 

Take care.

 

He didn't ''complete'' my life nor was I expecting him or anyone too, he filled a special part of my life that no one else had b4 b'cos I trusted myself to allow him into it. I fell in luv. Not saying it was a wrong decision even tho we ended, I am disappointed that we did b'cos I saw him further in my life, and worth fighting for when the problems begun. Sad thing is which did shock me, he didn't fight for me.

[S agapo]

I know I am not ready to look else where even tho i have tried. Haven't dated or anything like that. Just looking, but it makes me feel sick to the stomach. I am scared that this will carry on for some time and it feels my life is on hold. I know I need to be 100% over him and I am not there yet. I am jealous b'cos in my heart I do feel he has met someone else. Its been 8 months since we broke up, so that is long enough for him to have moved on. I know it should not matter but it does b'cos I feel I was not good enough for him to really want. Its my insecurities kicking in. I know I am good enough for love, but wanted him and want him to feel that for me.

I do try to put things behind me and concentrate on other things, but it all comes back and I start to wonder about him. I feel weak.

 

I feel he has forgotton about me. Well even if he does think about me he has no interest and hasn't shown any since. So it does make me feel that he was not serious about me regardless to what I said during the break up.

[ghost69]

who cares if he does have a gf now. move on already. this guy doesn't want to be with you. you can't change that. sucks, but people don't feel like continuing sometimes. you didn't think breaking up was going to happen cause you saw him in your future. so u weren't ready to move on yet. but you need to.

 

why do you believe you will never find those qualities again? i'm sure before this guy you figured you were never going to meet a good guy. but you did.

[S agapo]

who cares if he does have a gf now. move on already. this guy doesn't want to be with you. you can't change that. sucks, but people don't feel like continuing sometimes. you didn't think breaking up was going to happen cause you saw him in your future. so u weren't ready to move on yet. but you need to.

 

why do you believe you will never find those qualities again? i'm sure before this guy you figured you were never going to meet a good guy. but you did.

 

 

B’cos it somewhat does matter to me. I am jealous that he may be happy else where thinking he has it better; that’s if he is dating.

 

I am jealous if so if he is single b’cos he lost that interest in me, and I question my own ability as once his girlfriend; what did I do that made him think differently towards me, and not want to be with me in a stronger way to really want a relationship To spend maximum time together; to want that,

 

I question; wasn’t I enough, good enough, lovable enough, decent enough?

 

I know these things shouldn’t matter anymore, but somehow they do and they creep up in my thoughts and feelings. And I do understand that I haven’t got control over someone else’s feelings when they change or whatever…At least I know I deserved a bit more credit. I was honest with him, was open with my feelings and communication. I was decent enough for him, good enough and loving enough and honest enough for him.

 

I am confused to what men ''really'' want when they ask for and when they get it? Once they find someone worth holding on to for a meaningful real relationship!

[S agapo]

why do you believe you will never find those qualities again? i'm sure before this guy you figured you were never going to meet a good guy. but you did.

 

Yes, i know and he is. That's why I felt stongly for him, and now I miss him.

I am disappointed we broke up and he didn't give us a chance to work things out. Somehow I wonder if things begun as a miss understanding that got worst and out of hand when I wanted to deal with the situation there and then whereas I felt he wanted to avoided it. I dunno. He only knows what he really wanted to do.

 

I guess I am not ready to date or take a big interest right now in finding someone else. Deep down I want my ex back. I am still prepared to make things work if he gave it chance and return; just knowing it was for the right reasons and he was being for real,

But I know I am dreaming for him coming back

[ghost69]

i understand you felt so strongly for him. unfortunately, he doesn't feel that way. isn't that enough reason for you? maybe it's nothing you did or didn't do. maybe he just felt you weren't compatible enough anymore.

 

i've dated women that this happened with. it's hard to explain when i just don't feel the connection. sometimes they never understand that. i have to leave them with that though cause that is how i feel.

[S agapo]

i understand you felt so strongly for him. unfortunately, he doesn't feel that way. isn't that enough reason for you? maybe it's nothing you did or didn't do. maybe he just felt you weren't compatible enough anymore.

 

i've dated women that this happened with. it's hard to explain when i just don't feel the connection. sometimes they never understand that. i have to leave them with that though cause that is how i feel.

 

Thanks for ur honest answer Ghost

 

I have to except that it is over. I keep thinking what he said and wanted just b4 things got worse, then doing a 180 turn for the other way. That crushed me. I feel I was lied to or something, or he wasn't sure what he wanted but said what I wanted to hear realizing later he weren't sure about things; thereforeeee asking for a break without a time frame or nothing.. following him avoiding me.

 

Regardless of what has happened, I miss him and think about him all the time and wish things were different now; we were still together. Him and I were good for eachother and now sad how things have ended up. I hope he is ok and well. Haven't seen/spoken to him 8 months and over.

 

I miss my friend; my special friend, him.

 

I think it is unfortunate these days how people can switch on and off the button in their hearts just like that, and don't make it worth staying with the person who is worth being with. Seeing the relationship on a deeper level where it can go somewhere for a loving committed working relationship for a promising future.

[S agapo]

Right now I want to forgive and forget and let it be.

[ghost69]

these days? this has been happening forever.