21 huh.... I don't feel almost 21!

[John14087]

well its less than 5 months from my 21st birthday and I couldn't be any less excited! Why, you may ask, well the reason is simple : There is so much left undone! I'm almost 21 and I have never been with a girl socially, haven't kissed one haven't talked to one, let alone on a date with one, ever, and I wouldn't even know where to begin or how to go about it! There was so much I missed during my childhood it sickens me! I feel depressed near the end of every week, sort of like a crushing despair that I cannot shake. I feel like an emotional cripple, I don't know how to properly show my feelings, and I'm pretty angry most of the time. Actually I'm known for my anger.

 

I think it all has something to do with the death of my mother when I was young. I think I fear of getting to close to someone, only to have them taken away. Fear of commitment and fear of loss or something like that. I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I certainly can't talk to my family or friends because surely they would not understand! Compared to me, they are happy all the time, and why not, for they all have something or someone to live for. I would almost prefer if no one talked to me, but it can't be that way. Sorry this post is long but its just the way i feel!

[barbielovesmac]

Your right, it's fear.

 

How do you overcome it? Well first, you have to be willing to. You have to be willing to accept the things that you cannot change ...ie; your mothers death.

 

Surely she wouldn't want you to live the rest of your life angry, am I right?

 

Make the change. Make the change for yourself.

 

Stop being angry. Because in the end it's only you who is making you angry.

Change comes from within. Nothing that I say or anyone can say can change you. That change has to come from you.

 

Who wants to live their life angry? It's too short.

 

You're only 20 ... almost 21. You still have your entire life ahead of you. You're just getting started.

 

Go out ... talk to girls. Don't be afraid. What's the worst that could happen? You get rejected from a girl whom you might never see again?? That's not so bad hun. If that happens .... you pick up and try again.

 

But hold on dear to your friends and family ....... that's a good lesson that I have learned.

[Lana0120]

I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through these things, but... it's a new year, so why not make a new year's resolution and start working to change certain things about your life that you aren't happy about, before your 21st? Even if you don't succeed at first, trying never hurts.