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Dont want ex back, but dont want her new relationship to work either!

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Does anyone else feel this way?


My mind KNOWS that I should not be with my ex for countless reasons. My heart still doesnt like it, as I still have love for her, but I know that reconciliation would never work out.


BUT, less than 2 weeks after my ex dumped me she jumped into a new relationship w/ someone 8 years younger. They said I love you less than a month together, and have now been together for almost 2 months.


Is it bad that I SOOO dont want this relationship to work out. I was completely heart broken, and still am, but now-a-days i find myself not so much missing my ex, but thinking about her new relationship and hoping for that moment that they end it lol


Ultimately, I think i want my ex to realize what she threw away, that I am SOO much better than this new fling, and I want her to want me back. BUT, whats ironic is that if this happened, I dont think I would want to take her back for numerous reasons!


Does anyone else feel this way?

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best way to show her what she threw away is to be happy man, I found this out too. My ex dumped me, a man that loved her for someone that lives 4 hours away and they see each other maybe twice a month.


Do not contact her, just go on with your life and be happy.


She wants you to mope around and feel sorry for yourself, don't do it.

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Yes it is perfectly normal. It's just another extra load of rejection piled on top of what you're already doing. As others said... the best "revenge" is to just work at being happy with yourself. Hard to do, but what she does no longer has any control over you and you being upset allows her that control.


Take heart... most likely her relationship will NOT work out as it's based off an unstable foundation. She jumped way too quickly into it.

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you described exactly how i feel at the moment! i was with my ex for 3 years and she broke up 'cause she wanted to be single' but a month later she had a new boyfriend. instead of being 8 years younger though, he's 8 or 9 years older. i thought it'd never work but nearly 2 months later and i still see them together and it crushes me.


i completely understand what you mean about not wanting her back but not wanting her relationship to work either. it's like there's no way she's going to miss you or think about you if she's got this new relationship to take her mind off of it. i feel as though if she was still single she'd spend more time thinking about me and if they break up maybe she'll realise how good we had it, and want it back! and i'm exactly the same cause even if she said let's get back together i probably wouldn't cause i could come up with 100 reasons why i deserve better. so why do i want her to want me back even though i don't want it!?


people say you want what you can't have, and i guess i just feel that maybe if she did want me back and i could have her, then i wouldn't want her as much. i certainly want her to feel something for me though, cause the way it is at the moment it's as if our relationship meant next to nothing and she threw it away so easily.


either way EmilyE we just have to remind ourselves that the new guy/girl is just a rebound. the huge age difference makes it unlikely that'll work out, and if anything the new guy/girl is just a tool to help her forget about you. one day it'll end though and she'll still be left with a lot of emotions for you that she never dealt with and probably wanna see you again. by that stage though you'll have accepted and moved on to better things and can tell her that she's dreaming if she thinks she deserves someone as good as you!

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Yes, I agree that it is a bit selfish, and i promise i am usually not a selfish person, as she was TOTALLY the selfish one in the relationship. But, I cant help but feel it. I think its cuz she hurt me and i want somekind of revenge. I want her to actually feel the loss and learn from it, instead of just jumping into the next...she is never going to learn!!


And just for the record, she does call me, she makes a note to contact me once a day...we were best friends before the relationship so she wants to stay friends. i too want to stay friends, but it is a lot harder for me cuz she dumped me lol...the last 2 months i have had LC, but the last week or so i have given in a bit more cuz i am feeling better....but, i think i neeed to take another step back.

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My last girlfriend and I broke up few months ago after a year together. It was kind of a mutual break up, but initiated by her. It did hurt for a while though.


We remained in low contact since and did have coffee on one occasion few weeks ago. I'm completely over her.


Last couple of days I found out that she's seeing someone else. I know this guy although not very well. He's actually a great guy - intelligent, funny, good-looking etc. They make a great couple I thought.


Now as I said I'm completely over her and I do feel happy for them, but still I feel a bit of jealousy...


maybe if one day I do feel 100% happy about it then will i truly be the man that I'm trying to be...

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Emilye i dont think that what you feel is uncommon and i think gator is on the money with that comment, what you need to do now is to let go of your ex mentally and emotionally, its not easy but you need to rebuild your life and worry less about your ex, they did what they did for whatever reasons and it really doesnt matter why they left us or whether or not their new partner is good for them or not, its not your concern anymore.


make an effort to let them go shout it , write it , sing it but you have to work at it, believe me when you do it will be worth it, it wont mean that you wont miss them or be sad at times but it speeds up the healing process so much.


look after yourself, worry about yourself , improve yourself.make an effort for yourself noone else, be happy be strong you will get there.

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Listening to you sounds like listening to myself emily! My ex dumped me after about 2 years, and was with someone else 6 days later. It's killing me at the moment. She's saying that she still wants to be my friend, yet ignores my calls when he's with her, and only bothers contacting me when he's at work and she's bored. I want them to break up so badly. I want him out of her life. She's hurt me beyond belief but I still want her to want me back

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Hi, I am in the same situation, we have two small children and have been married for 8 and together for 10. It has been a huge shock that the whole thing happened so fast, and now I have to witness my stbx in constant txt communication, and going out late at night, whilst I sit in with our little ones. It certainly is painful to accept that she no longer wants to be with me, but seeing her fall in love with someone else, and claim that no one has ever made her feel like she does- feels like I'm getting my nose rubbed in it. I could understand more if we rowed, or there was abuse or drugs- but our relationship was perfectly normal, not perfect, but we always worked at it- until she gave up. My main beef is not that she claims to have found true love, because that's her right, but I wish that I wasn't constantly reminded of this.

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