KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Hello All-and Happy Friday! Ok-this seems so awful and I am wondering if this is actually my fault. The men that I am meeting a LOSERS! It seems like since my ex the potentials have been going downhill. The one guy that I managed to get in a relationship with-that actually helped me over the hump-he was addicted to ectasy! The next one he had a coke addiction, and the last one-dope additcion. What the hell is going on? Then another one I found out he was bi-sexual! That is not the end of it-met a guy yesterday-OK bad boy gone good which is a plus. Works, no kids, 23. OK we actually set a date up the same day-as he comes and picks me up tells me that we are going to go on a dinner date and that he promises to be a gentleman. Guys this dude TAKES ME TO MEET HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!! So here I am getting the 3rd degree and all and I am not even sure if I like him. What the hell is that about? I think I've meet 3 males mom's and only one of them liked me-the other 2-curtains. Dinner was great he seems as if he is a great guy but he's already talking relationship B/S. So cut his a** now or later? Then I feel like a complete idiot to be sleeping and pursuing someone with a chemical dependency. i actually work for a mental health/substance abuse agency and I'm not awake or something because I seem to like them only because they are so live and full of zest. I am ususally naturally high off life Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 ditch him immediately Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 you think he is too dependent right. it feels like he is one of those people that are in love with being in love! Link to comment
enchiladaman Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 wow, sorry for your bad luck. Maybe try finding potential suitors using a different method. Your current method is not working well at all. And yeah this new guy should go to the curb fast before things get weirder. Bad guys gone good are always some interesting characters and you never know when a little bit of their past personality will come back. Often times these guys rush the relationship so that when the bad personality comes back you will be attached and it will be harder for you to leave him and you'll be more accepting of his flaws. They can't keep up their act or hide some of their flaws forever. Be careful. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 whoa. first date? no friggen way ur meeting my mom. only 3 girls i've ever dated met her. that's a huge deal to me. Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Yeah, no parental visits on the first date! Jeez... I'd say no family meetings the first couple months! As to the drug-abusers you're meeting. I find it VERY interesting that you work in a substance abuse agency and you keep meeting these guys. I know that drug use is getting a bit widespread but I think it's more than coincidence. Have you considered maybe you can recognize these "types" of abusers and you're attracted to them in a "I'm going to save them" sort of way? Maybe not even a conscious thought... but just a gut instinct? Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 Yeah, no parental visits on the first date! Jeez... I'd say no family meetings the first couple months! As to the drug-abusers you're meeting. I find it VERY interesting that you work in a substance abuse agency and you keep meeting these guys. I know that drug use is getting a bit widespread but I think it's more than coincidence. Have you considered maybe you can recognize these "types" of abusers and you're attracted to them in a "I'm going to save them" sort of way? Maybe not even a conscious thought... but just a gut instinct? NO-not one bit. I don't want a guy that has his life in shambles or powders his nose. And besides i don't persue them they make the first move. Really don't know if it is my style that attracts them, my looks or my body. I just don't know. I am from NJ and I live in NC now so it is indeed another world here. I am just trying to get some insight-they don't look like drug addicts either Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 So weird some of these stories about guys. I have not experienced that at all I guess I am lucky or something. No mommy on the first date! Guess you maybe lucky-or something. I don't feel as if it is weird it is reality I suppose! As far as meeting my mom-I think 4 of them have. My daughter 4 people other than her dad so that is not that bad and of course she knows that 2 of the 4 where just friends Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I think the first meeting is rather soon to meet the parents. Did you go for dinner afterwards? Was there a particular reason why you met his mother? Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 I think the first meeting is rather soon to meet the parents. Did you go for dinner afterwards? Was there a particular reason why you met his mother? He said he had to go there and see her and he needed to change his shirt! We went to dinner afterwards. First he said he was unsure if she was there or not-but she was and I kinda think he knew and she was all smiles once she seen me-I don't know what's up! He is the baby of 15! Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 What do you mean by "or something"? Because I really don't believe in luck, fate or destiny, I feel as if things happen for a reason and that "something' is the reason. IT is not bad and please don't take offense hun-none intended Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 Ok dear but I am sooo confused now! If you dont believe in fat and destiny than shouldnt it be that things DONT happen for a reason??? there is a reason but I don't blame it on fate or destiny-at all. usually people would say that is the reason but I believe that there is a REASON other than just or the inevitable Link to comment
lazer Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 maybe the fact that you date drug abusers is because you feel like you can help them or change them, since that's your JOB! that's also a form of co-dependency, so be careful . Link to comment
lazer Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 ok i just read your reply to someone who asked a similar question. maybe it's your energy. you might be a compassionate fun person, and these guys might be attracted to that. they might realize that they have a problem but want someone who won't judge them but will help them become a better person. even if they may not know your job from the get-go. some people can just pick up on that kind of thing. i don't think it's coincidental. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 The best way I met quality people was through college, graduate school, religious organizations, my work and volunteer work- and friends of the people I met in that way. It wasn't just about meeting the people it was because I was in college, graduate school and pursuing my career in order to better myself. That made me more confident and more of a magnet for confident, ambitious, together people. I also met quality people through on line dating but I was very careful about screening and very selective. I've been told several times - mostly by men - that I carry myself with confidence and that it's obvious that I have traditional values (and no I do not button up and wear conservative clothes - not at all). Once in a blue moon the "bad boy" type pursued me but mostly the men I met wanted a serious relationship with me even if they weren't necesarily in a serious mind set. I went out with boys who used drugs/drank a lot many years ago. They were often fun - a blast! - great dancers - entertaining drunks - but I outgrew that phase quickly and quickly found them pathetic, unattractive and self-absorbed. It is irrelevant whether these men pursue you - the only relevance is your choices, how you carry yourself, what you are doing to better yourself (if that is necessary - well, I think we can always be bettering ourselves) and where you hang out in order to meet people. Hope my insights were helpful. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I'm happy to hear that at least when you find out about these substances these guys are addicted to you cut them loose. I know some people who would stick thru the situation. I don't know why you seem to be attracting such people. Where do you meet them? I agree most of them don't "look" like substance addicts. Just regular ol' guys. I say cut that guy loose who took you to see his mom OR tell him to slow it down, and you guys just went on ONE date. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 you think he is too dependent right. it feels like he is one of those people that are in love with being in love! why waste a date with a hot chick with your Mother.......unless he thinks you might be the one Link to comment
Pegasus Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 It seems like since my ex the potentials have been going downhill. Same here but with girls...seems there are no decent girls around (at least not ones I meet). The one guy that I managed to get in a relationship with-that actually helped me over the hump-he was addicted to ectasy! The next one he had a coke addiction, and the last one-dope additcion. What the hell is going on? Then another one I found out he was bi-sexual! A while ago, on this boards you've said you're highly attracted to gangster-type-bad-boys. I assume those guys were the same type. I'm sure it's an adrenalin rush being with her but guys like that live fast and die young.... Guys this dude TAKES ME TO MEET HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!! So here I am getting the 3rd degree and all and I am not even sure if I like him. What the hell is that about? This guy watched "American gangster" too many times and thinks he's lead actor ;-) I think I've meet 3 males mom's and only one of them liked me-the other 2-curtains. Dinner was great he seems as if he is a great guy but he's already talking relationship B/S. So cut his a** now or later? Yes, you should cut him loose immediately because, God forbid, he could actually be interested in a relationship with you. Wow..I think it's a last moment to run away from him. Link to comment
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