CellarDoor911 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 thats it, i've had it up to here with life, and im not just being a drama queen, theres a knife to my wrist right now, i've been cutting with a razor and this knife for about an hour now, whenever i feel like im getting better emotionally and pyschically, it all comes crashing down again. last year, i lost 5 people, i got sick, but i wasnt just sick for a week or two, i was SICK for 10 months, i lost a dramatic amount of weight, my depression became more noticeable than anyone i know, i got hurt countless times, i had surgery, just one thing after another, now this year already seems to be starting out the same. i thought things were getting better, until the whole amber siutation, i feel SICK right now.....and my grandfather just passed away. this entire damn thing is starting all over again, and im not gonna sit around for a whole nother year and suffer threw all of this! I'm done with this place we all call earth...i've been interested in the afterlife for the longest time now anyways...no i'm not just over dramatizing this, i feel like im going to lose it..i feel a panic attack coming on, no, im not living threw another one...no more of this, i'm ending this. im going to go curl up in ball on my bed and cut myself until i cant take it anymore, then im going to end my life by overdosing. goodbye everyone. please don't turn out like me.. im just a mistake and like all other mistakes they need to be erased Link to comment
doyathink Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Well, it's now 10 minutes after you posted and I see you're still surfing ENA, so you're still alive... Now, did you really want to tell a bunch of strangers that you want to die, or would you rather us talk about all of these things that are hurting you? I'm here to talk if you want to?? Link to comment
Russ Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 If this isn't a joke, you need someone to talk to right now. Like, now. Anyone. I hate to see anyone like this, so you can send me a PM, talk to me about everything, etc. Noone should ever have to resort to suicide. I had a good friend who has, and trust me, when she thought noone would miss her, she couldn't have been more wrong. You're not a mistake, but you're sure as hell making one when you hurt yourself like this. Venting will make you feel much better than self-harm. Link to comment
monkey123 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 dont do it ur making a big mistake, things will get better if u just have a positive attitude. Ur year is gonna suck if u keep noticing every bad thing that happeneds in ur life and remember it. Y dont u pay attention to the good things, anything. and if u dont think u have any good things then find out what makes u happy. U have to stay positive, every1 feels hopeless sometime in their life, i know this because i once felt like u did. Things will and do get better if u just allow them too, dont have such a negative attitude towards everything. Everything that happeneds in someones life shapes them into the people that they are in the future. Things are hard for you right now but when its all over with you will be a stronger and better person for it. Trust me please, dont do it just relax and try to stay happy and positive. Put a smile on ur face and try to act happy even if things are hard and eventually u will notice that things are alot better when u are positive. GL i hope u feel better, i know you will it just takes time. Link to comment
monkey123 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 ur only 15 u have so much life ahead of u, things will change dramatically for you in the future, they always do just dont get caught up in the bad things in life, like drugs and guys that treat u like * * * * . you are better than that and u deserve better than that, that is at least what you should be telling urself Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 no i'm not just over dramatizing this So what are you doing? Is this a cry for help? If it is, its rather ineffective. 911 is probably a more efficient way to get help if you live in the USA. I hope you achieve whatever it is you were hoping for in your post, but I think you might achieve more if you posted something more specific or tangeble. I'm sure that if you don't feel you can post something, you can always PM someone and they'd be happy to chat. please don't turn out like me.. im just a mistake and like all other mistakes they need to be erased Also might pay to remember, this isn't Myspace. Link to comment
Invicta Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 We are each the master of our destinies. I have been in a situation where I planned to kill myself a few times, I will share with you the reasons I didn't. First of all, %uck eveyone that tells you you're too young... if they're right, that still doesn't help you because (remember we're assuming they're right), you don't know what they are talking about. What they are trying to say, is that you can't know for sure that everything is doomed for you. You can't know for sure that things could not get better for you. A problem I had when I was suicidal, was that I didn't have the ambition... the will... to find a more positive outlook on my life. Yes, you go thought the feeling that nothing could possibly get better... but before you start cutting yourself you still have that momentary glimpse of choosing a different path. I'm a pretty stubborn person, so I feel fortunate and thankful that the people on this site activated the sliver of will I had left to convince me to continue this seemingly pointless existence. I was truley fortunate to find the answers I seeked from an internet website ... is there a better reason to live than the chance to answer those haunting questions? Set aside your apathy! Real life is created, and you have the power to do it. Get over yourself, do your best to think past the momentary struggle. Most things we struggle with turn out to be ephemeral. True living is peace, contemplation, satisfaction. We all have the power to experience it, my reason for staying was not wanting to distract my friends and family from those truths by killing myself. You dont really know in the end do you? Well no one else does, and it's possible to live happily without knowing for sure. Link to comment
Stu147 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 last year, i lost 5 people, i got sick, but i wasnt just sick for a week or two, i was SICK for 10 months, i lost a dramatic amount of weight, my depression became more noticeable than anyone i know, i got hurt countless times, i had surgery, just one thing after another, now this year already seems to be starting out the same. i thought things were getting better, until the whole amber siutation, i feel SICK right now.....and my grandfather just passed away. You had a hard year last year, with a lot of things happening at once. As unfortunate at it is we all go through years like that. Mine was 1990, when it seemed that everyone was dying, I lost my dog, my left leg was in plaster for six weeks and I had to have an operation on the foot of the same leg for completely different reasons. Skip forward to 2004 when I lost one of my best friends and became ill, an illness that lasted me every day of the next two years. I'm not trying to compare problems here, suffering is a personal thing and is not always proportionate to the size of the tragedy. What I'm saying is that bad luck does sometimes come in bunches. But the chances of this year being like your last one are so small it's not even worth considering. You are giving up on the year before it's even begun! How do you know that this year won't be the best year of your life? The fact is you don't know. Suicide is never an answer. And as much as people talk about suicide it is not the easiest thing in the world to accomplish. The majority of people who attempt suicide are not successful in ending their lives. Overdoses can leave you alive but with permanent health problems and a lifetime of pain to look forward to. But let's say you do suceed, you are then subjecting your family and friends to a lifetime of pain on your behalf. They will never get over this, and will be burdened forever more. You are only 15yrs old. There are so many twists and turns in life that it is impossible to predict a life of misery at such a young age. Get help, talk to anyone who will listen (and that includes a heck of a lot of people on this forum), get yourself to your doctor, and start fighting back. People here will support you all the way. We are always here to talk to, and many of us know pretty much what it feels like to be you right now. Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Whenever I have thought about it, the one statement that I read here once has always stuck with me... Suicide is a long-term solution to what are just short-term problems. Always made sense to me and helped me get perspective. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Hi there.. But if you are having suicidal thoughts.. maybe better to (also) post in that part of the forum b/c maybe there are looking more members who want/can help with that kind of problems.. wishing you the best, may always P.M. me Link to comment
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