breaking up advice

[nicola1988]

HI, i just got told by my boyfriend that things aren't working well between us. He says that he gets angry at me too much and doesn't feel happy being with me, which seems to be true. I love him so much though despite these things. I don't know what to do because he is my first proper boyfriend , pretty much my only friend and i have been going out with him for just over 2 years. He says if i don't contact him for the next two days he'll think about if we can still work. I know we've been arguing alot recently but i never thought this would actually happen. I don't know what i would do if he says on saturday he never wants to be with me or see me ever again. Has anyone got any advice to give me or anything?

 

thanks Nicola

[Clabs]

Hey Nicola and welcome here.

 

I know this really hurts, especially as he was your first boyfriend and your friend. If that 1988 in your username is your birthyear then you were together from a very young age. How old is he?

 

You say that things are not working well between you? In what respect? And why does he get angry and not feel happy being with you?

 

Give us a bit more info, honey.

 

Mark

[nicola1988]

yeah it is my birth year, he is 22. He gets angry when i tell him things about my family cause he doesn't really like them , but mainly anything that makes me out to be too shy, i was in the shop with him tonight and i was asking him if i could have something for my tea becuase i didn't have any money on me , and he snapped ,i can't hear, so i said come here and he just turned and walked away, thats when i walked up to him and said find your own way home. The first time i've ever really backchatted to him. I feel if i had never said that he would never have said to me that he doesn't wanna be with me. He says i have done nothing wrong and i'm not a bad girlfriend but, i feel because i am so shy he doesn't like it and that it is all my fault. he bought me a parrot for valetines day last year , but i had to keep it with his parrot at his house because of my mum and dad. What if i never get to see it again?. I miss my bf already and it's only been 2 hours.

[nicola1988]

he has just texted me saying he is missing me too much to not talk to me and asking if i am ok. i feel like going , um do you think i am ok? lol. i'm talking a lot of nonsense lol, i'm pouring stuff out from my thoughts.

[Clabs]

Hi again Nicola

 

It does sound like things were not going very well - and it sounds like he didn't treat you particularly well. And every things to be on his terms, does,'t it? He wants you to hang about till Saturday until he can decide if you are special enough - and now he is texting you saying he misses.

 

You identify that you are taking a lot of nonesense but you have to learn to stand up for your self sometimes.

 

I wouldn't reply to him and wait till he contacts you properly - but again - don't accept any wishy washy behaviour!

 

Mark

[hairap]

He is your first boyfriend. There will be many more. It may hurt more than future breakups will, because it is your first, but you will get through it, you will learn from it, and you will be stronger for it.

 

As far as his calling you up and missing you. Yes, it happens a lot. The "leaver" has second thoughts and oscillates back and forth, dragging you along for a wild ride.

 

The best thing for you to do is jump off NOW, or else you will be in for more pain than you already know.

[dd]

hmmm I don't think that it is particularly your fault Nicola.....we all have different personalities....he seems to be very irritated for some reason.....