Jump to content

Whats Wrong With Me? feel like im doing worse...

Recommended Posts

hello guys:


brief recap-


4 yrs relationship, she broke up w/ me exactly two months ago. been avoiding any contact with her since the first day.




i thought i was doing better....i felt good....i felt confident for a while.


i thought i was finally accepting it.


but i guess 4 yrs is a long time to accept in such a short period of time.

i feel like im being such a woman (no offense ladies i love all of u).


my closest guy buddies are all tellin me i gotta man up a little bit. (b4 u guys bash them they have all been thru breakups so they know what its like)


i feel like im back in this emotional turmoil, this rut. im carrying on with my life on the outside...going to the gym, meeting with friends, working, going to school...etc....but inside i just feel like im doing worse and worse....i always gotta put on this smile but really i dun feel happy.


thats it...i dun feel happy....


my birthday just passed...my closest friends showed up at my place to have a few with me....but for some reason, i felt none of them were really there for me. the reality was that they were there for me....but i guess i wanted her to be there....her to care (she was the 1st to txt me tho right at 12am).


thats another problem im workin on right now.....im having SUCH a hard time trusting people.....i recently became good friends with some ppl thru association. 1 of them actually brought me a cup cake with my age on it (thought it was a nice gesture). but i kept telling myself (for some weird reason) that 1st, they weren't there for me and 2nd, they are all using me (no i do not have self-esteem issues, thats why this is weird for me) for their own benefits (whatever they are).


i am just protecting myself i keep thinking....but i dunno when its appropriate to protect myself and when is just pure being overly not trusting.


any thoughts?

Link to comment

"There's nothing like finding someone when you're lonely to make you wanna be so all alone." - Rollins


I can relate with your birthday. You could have a 1000 friends there, and although your mind may partially be on the present, if your heart still exists in the past then everything is tainted.


This is one reason why I envy people who are able to move on so swiftly from breakups and never look back. They don't tend to have the same issues.


As for your birthday, everyone is using everyone else and that's more then ok. Otherwise, you're a charity case, and you don't want that either. If someone is coming to your birthday, having a great time, and helping you celebrate then I'd hope that they are using you. That means that you are partly responsible for their great time.


Can you imagine if the only reason they came to see you was because "Well, he needs me so I guess I'll go, but I won't like it." If that were true, then it would just be about a bunch of people who care about you but feel sorry for you. No thanks. Let them "use you" so to speak for a good time. Embrace that.

Link to comment

Jettison: Interesting outlook.


BackAgain: You know all of this will bite you again and again, until your heart is tired of it, right?


What I mean is, these things are gonna creep up and these feelings are gonna creep up. You guys were together for a good amount of time.


Don't expect things to change drastically, anytime soon.


Basically what I am saying is that this is normal...

Link to comment

well actually i've always been a little bit of a suspicious guy. i dun trust ppl easily.


if u look under the threads i started.....i've been thru a hell of couple of months (a good friend confessin to the now ex, ex breaking up with me, mutual friends gabbing and talkin)


anyways basically im just untrusting like this because obviously the person i trusted the most can and did just pick up and walk out, and the people that are supposed to be trusted like good friends have backstabbed me b4 (confessing to my ex when we were still going out...etc)


i just feel like i cant put this guard down....i dunno....

Link to comment

Well, after the breakup that you went through, it's no wonder that you're suspicious/un-trusting. But the good news is... it's normal! Look at it this way, if you were to be all gung-ho about trusting another person so readily then you're bound to get hurt again. Think of it as an emotional defense mechanism that you (and many others before/after you) have used to protect yourself.


So, simply put, it's okay that you're feeling the way that you are now. But hopefully, with time, your guard will be less severe and you'd be able to let people into your life again.


Time heals all wounds =)

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...