Well, I am DONE trying!

[emalkoc]

Well, so much for open communication and last few weeks' interactions..

 

Today, her bro posted on her online that they are not meant each other

 

That's kinda declaration of their relationship in public b/c she has been deleting and hiding this from me and all others, and all sort of messages on her side...I dont why they did that either..usually her bro and her are very close and they must have decided to do that...I am guessing to close to door for meeting me up new year...

 

last few weeks, she must be contacting to me b/c she is feeling lonely and her selfish reasons during holiday season...

 

If you all remember, we were going to have a coffee/lunch and she suggested after new year for may be 1hr...

 

Well, I am officially DONE...NC forever now...

 

Although this is not a huge surprise to me, but I was somehow internally hoping this to be a quick rebound so that she can learn my values...but not really..This is more than a rebound or not, her behaviour to keep me around for selfish reasons, I am DONE....

 

I will try to keep post my progress here but I am prett much done here as well...

 

Dont know what else to say...

 

Cheers

 

Eric

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I know how you feel and have been there myself with my last ex. He wanted to keep me around as a spare. Congrats to you on making a final decision. Now you can really move forward. Just keep up the NC through the hard stuff and you will be ok.

[TMinCali]

Eric (hugs), I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

 

The best thing you can do is step back and regroup, which I know that's what you plan to do. Just remember, you can't control this. Nature will do what nature does. As long as you're the best you can possibly be, your ex won't be able to help but notice if/when you do come into contact again.

 

I think it's good that you made efforts to show her your interest again, but sometimes, it can scare the dumper because everything is happening so fast.

 

My best advice to you is to live your life and have fun. I know it's easier said than done... especially now, but that is the only way things will work out in the long run. Not necessarily with your ex, but with any other woman that might come your way.

 

Whatever you do, do not express your pain to her. Just disappear for awhile with your dignity intact. SHE will notice when she's ready to notice the changes you've made and the wonderful person you are. You cannot make her feel/do this.

 

I can't preach the laws of attraction enough. It's nature at it's finest and it's one of the easiest things that we CAN control. We can be attractive to anyone. But at the same time, you must also understand human nature, and what drives people to do what they do. That includes your ex's actions. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to see things from her perspective.

 

She sounds very conflicted and probably freaked out a bit about what has been going on between you two. Give her space to come to the realization of what she wants. This can take a long time, that's why it's so important to be patient.

 

Hang in there, buddy. Cry, punch something, scream if you have to. Get it all out, and then let it go and start working on your life without the thought of her ever being in it.

[emalkoc]

TMinCali, Hugs to you too! Thanks..I could not really sleep even I have an important meeting tomorrow...

 

I know my mistakes already. This 5 mos taught me a lot and I think I grew a lot...

 

I know how she feels too. She is confused between her feelings towards me vs. what's good for her b/c what was happenning...Not all my fault but both of us...but I can understand...

 

I wanted to use coffee/lunch to express my learning/reflections but I am afraid I wont get a chance or I dont want to be rejected badly again..

 

I know she thinks about me but just as a friend or someone she loved in the past...

 

So NC is the best thing for me...Ignore and move on...Hope to find someone in future I will be happier again...

 

Thanks again...