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So I have been conversing with a woman on eharmony. I am 42 and single, never been married. She is 38 and has a 14yo son, she has been divorced for 10 years. She lives within 30 miles of me and I find her physically attractive based on the picture of her on her profile.

 

We have gone through the basic questions about past relationships, favorite foods, favorite places to visit, family, pets, jobs, religion, smoking, drinking, and even views on marrige. I guess what I would like to know is ... what else should I discuss via the email system at eharmony or do you think we are ready to start conversing by phone?

 

What questions would you ask?

 

Thanx

 

--M

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I know everyone takes it slowly and I think you should, but too slow may also hurt you as well. I would think you shouldn't e-mail for longer than a month, then progress to phone. I would really urge to meet within two months (or even shorter). Like Camber, talk about current stuff, just like he said.

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^ I agree. Usually 1-2 weeks of e-mail, a week or so of phone, then the dates. After I wine and dine them a couple of times THEN they tell me they just want to be friends (funny that could have sworn those profiles said "Looking for a long term relationship!)

 

LOL - JK M, go for it!

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Well we have only been messaging back and forth for 5 days. In my last email I wrote...

 

"I really enjoy chatting with you and hope that we might be able to take this conversation to the phone or to a meeting in person someday."

 

"Hope you are having a good day

 

--M

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eHarmony...

 

I was on there a while. I met a couple people and wished I'd met with them in person more quickly. After several emails, IM's and phonecalls, you really don't know if you click until you physically meet. Somehow people are just different in person. AND, there's the physical connection issue. No matter how much you "click" you wont know if you want to pursue THEM until you physically meet. I think prolonged emailing adds unneeded pressure.

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ask her for her number! women don't like to do the calling first. that sends a bad message. e-mail her again and say, "i know i sent you my number, but if you feel comfortable, I would like to call you if you wouldn't mind giving me your number" women like to be pursued. I get annoyed when they send me their phone numbers. but that is just me. like camber said, 2 weeks e-mail, one week phone and then dates. you can't know a person until you meet them and wasting time online is too much. i don't ever understand those people who "fall in love" online only to be disapointed in real life.

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We talked for almost an hour and I think the conversation went really well. I asked her if she would like to meet me in person and she said she would. I told her that I think it is best if she pick a place where she is comfortable and a time when we can meet and she agreed. She was heading off to play Volleyball and she said she would write me where and when or give me a call later to talk again. I told her the invitation to chat is always open and I look forward to hearing from her again and meeting with her. She seems like such a nice person that I really hope we "click" when we finally get to meet

 

--M

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OK... to start she showed up on time and alone ... I guess she really trusted me because meeting someone for the first time that you met online can be scary ... So we had lunch and talked for two hours ... probably would have kept going but she had to go pick up her sister from work ... She looks just like her pictures on eharmony, a bit over weight and average looks but with a definate cute factor. But I am not the kind of person that has a problem with looks or body shape... I found her to be really easy to talk to and when she smiled or laughed I could feel a definate connection. She said she had a good time and I asked if she would like to go to dinner some evening and continue the conversation she said she would like that. I asked her for her cell number and she gave it to me. She said she would email me this evening and I told here I would write back or call and we could discuss when she would like to go out again and she said that would be great...

 

I guess we shall see where this goes.

 

--MJ

 

She wasn't your buddy wiser, and I don't think she used to be a man so I think were good there

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