krnelson2 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Ok so I have been interested in this girl for awhile. This past weekend we went to the bar with some mutual friends. Had fun, danced. I ended up following her home to make sure she made it home safe. We hung out for awhile at her place with another friend there. They both fell asleep so I left. That was about the extent of the evening...not a lot of time to talk individually as we were in a crowded bar most of the evening. Now I consider myself a fairly shy person when it comes to meeting new people. I want to ask her to dinner, but I feel very uncomfortable calling her cause I dont know her that well. I would ask her to her face but it seems the only time that we see each other is when we are drunk and at the bar. I would prefer to ask her out when we are both sober so the booze doesnt make decisions for her. So here is my question...is it an absolute no no to send her a facebook message to the effect of "hey just wondering if you would want to grab dinner sometime" Something short like that. If she said yes then I would definitely call her to set something up. But I dont want to put her on the spot by calling her. What do you all think. I know that facebook is pretty impersonal, but I feel that it will give her the opportunity to express how she really feels about going out. I'm fairly outgoing once i get to know people, I just have a hard time breaking the ice. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated...Thanks!!! -KR Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 No to the facebook. And drinking isn't going to say yes to the date for her. It's not like you're asking her out when she's plastered right? So quit worrying about that. IMO, she knows you like her. What guy she doesn't know that well decides to follow her home to make sure she makes it alright that isn't interested in her? I'm certain that, whether her answer is yes or no, she is waiting for you to ask her out. You need to do it PRONTO. Read the link in my sig. Pass up the points you feel don't apply to you but reads the ones that do. Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 Thanks for the reply DC- I am pretty sure she knows I like her as I have made that clear to some of her close friends. I have asked one of her best friends to help me out as well but havent heard anything back. Its only been a couple days though. I guess its just the fear of rejection that is holding me back...I find it fairly uncomfortable to ask women out unless I know I have a chance. And In this situation I'm not sure I do. Link to comment
MushroomGod Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Rejection is part of life, always remember that this is just one girl and there are many, many more out there for you if this one doesn't work out. Good luck btw. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Talking to her friends first about it isn't a good move. Please refrain from doing that in the future. The first she should hear of your interest is when you ask her out on a date or make a move to kiss her. That's it. Telling her friends and asking them for help does nothing to make you look confident and independent. Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 Thanks for the replies...I agree I need to grow a pair and ask this girl out...I'm fairly certain that she knows I am interested in her. I guess I have nothing to lose. Dating Coach- I read the thread in your signature. Wow, a lot of that rings a bell I wish I would have read that about 3 months ago. So are my odds better if I call her or wait until I see her out next time? And If I call and she doesnt answer...leave a message? Leave my intentions in the message or just ask her to call back? Link to comment
boo121 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 So here is my question...is it an absolute no no to send her a facebook message to the effect of "hey just wondering if you would want to grab dinner sometime" Something short like that. If she said yes then I would definitely call her to set something up. But I dont want to put her on the spot by calling her. That's what you need to do. Call her up, talk to her for a bit and ask her out. I can see that you're a bit nervous and that's ok. Just give it a go. Give it a shot! When you feel fear about doing something (could be asking a girl out, doing a job interview) And you are afraid but do it ANYWAY... you will feel more confident. Even if you call her up, and she say's "get away loser!" You will feel more confident having done it. I guarantee you this. in fact... I will delete my enotalone account, If you do this and feel less confident as a result... So what are you going to do? Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 You have her number, call her up, bullsh_t and joke for a short period of time, and then tell her you're going to ________ on Thursday at ___ PM and that she should come. If she shoots down the idea, then tell it's no big deal, you'll invite someone else, but then ask if she'd like to go to _______ on Sunday at ___ time. If she says she doesn't know about her schedule then tell her she has plans now. Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I would say yes to the facebook. I really don't care how a guy I like asks me out. By email, text or calling, it's all the same to me. I would not say no just because it was via facebook. If I liked the guy I would reply 'sure'. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 shows some nuts. sorry to be blunt, but call her up and say 'friday, you and me are going to _____. pick u up a 8.' Link to comment
boo121 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 AND... If she says "hmmm, not sure". That usually means she want's you to keep trying. Don't give up at the first hurdle she throws at you. This happened to me the other nite, I replied "come on, what you gotta do... shampoo ur cat!?" Keep on going, until you hear a yes. If she says "no." and it's obvious, then leave it. But if she is hesitating, you just need to do some convincing. Link to comment
Anaconda_07 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Yeah, you gotta get it together. Just ask her. If you don't like some of the approaches suggested above, then say "Why dont you and I catch a movie next weekend"...or something to that effect. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.