andymandy17 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Plz help me out, dont be scared of the length She just brokeup with me the day before new years, (i already wrote a poste almost identicle to this, sorry) I've been having the most difficult time of my life since. She wants "time" to get over things. I cheated on her in september, it wasn't all that bad actually, i madeout and felt up 2 girls at the same time. She found out in november because one of the girls knew her friend and decided to tell her. She almost broke up with me but I managed to keep her around by being a sweetie, after a few weeks, (in november still) she decided to go on a break with me because she was really upset, during this break we were still together and it was like we hadn't broken up. The break lasted about 2 weeks and since than I've thought all was going well until new years eve when she broke up with me. She said she needed time to get over me so that she could get over what i did, and that was the only way we could ever restart. She said she honestly isn't sure if we're going to get back together, and she has no idea how long I'm going to havto wait around before she makes a decision about us dating again. I really have never felt so inlove with her since she broke up with me, it's totally changed me and made me realize how much she means to me. I wish I had felt this way before so that I didn't screw up. She told me that she felt the way I do about me before but I "killed her when I cheated", I know she needs time and I'm going to give it to her but it's so hard not to speak to her! I've only had 1 day where I didn't talk to her in some way, and I even talked to her today. It's really hard for me to just move on, it's like ripping off someones leg and telling them to play soccer. I want to be back together with her and I'd definitely treat her right, and I've already done the whole pour your heart out thing to her a few times in the last 7 days. I believe her, she definitely isn't sure if she wants to date again and she has a ton of stresses with school and stuff right now..I don't want to have to wait a month and a half for her answer. what do i do, i can't sleep and i can't live without her, it's torture waiting on the fence, and i dont want to move on because i think she might take me back. Link to comment
Altruist Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 You'll only push her further away if you continue to be clingy like this. Accept her decision and get on with your life. If she really loves you things will work out again. Just give her the space that she needs. Don't wallow in self-pity when she is around - look happy and you should still talk to her about general things, like you would with any other buddy. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Sorry to say but the likelyhood of her taking you back is almost nil. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment and think how you would feel if she cheated on you. It's almost unforgivable and not many people ever get over something like that. Best you just try to move on with your life and consider it a lesson learned. Link to comment
andymandy17 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 It's funny sn0man because i just posted something on one of your threads..i hate to think that she won't take me back, but i believe in soul mates and i think i've found the one. I think that maybe God is putting me through this because he wants me to learn something, but w.e i'll let time decide Link to comment
Russ Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Support her. Simply tell her that she's not pressured to make any decisions now, because you understand she's got a ton of other * * * * in her life at the moment. Offer her friendship, atleast. When you break up and turn friends, it usually can be pushed into getting back together. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 This is s learning experience, isn't it? Her affection had you so confident you took her for granted, but the bottom dropped out when you messed up. Imagine if you were still with her and found she was cheating with two guys. You'd probably never see her as the same special woman. You'd be badly hurt. Show respect for her by accepting her decision. Give her what she asks for. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I'm sorry what you're going thru bud, but I really have no sympathy for cheaters. IF she meant to you that much, you should have thought about that before you felt up other girls. Cheating is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship... you take all that trust that was built over time and flush it down the toilet... She can never trust you now... i know i couldn't... At least you learn from this, so when the next girl coomes, you'll know what to do and how to avoid feeling up other girls. Good Luck. Link to comment
water Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 If you're downplaying the cheating to her like you are here ("it wasn't all that bad actually"), then you're not actually accepting responsability for your actions. Even if you don't downplay the situation to her, she can more than likely see right through you. Girls have keen senses when it comes to that sort of thing. What you did was that bad. Link to comment
need2bme Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Dako said it best. Show how much you love her NOW and give her what she asked. Leave her be. Love her enough to leave her alone. Also, like Robert, I too am sorry for what you are going through, but I have a hard time having empathy for cheaters, regardless of why. Cheating is an abhorant behavior and not something you do, when you care about someone. Please love her enough to let her have her space and her life...give her what she asked. Link to comment
andymandy17 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 I downplayed the "it wasnt that bad actually" because everytime i told one my buds they all said "thats all, u didnt sleep with them? thats not that bad" i thought i might get the same reaction here so thats why i said it. I honestly have no sympathy for cheaters either, i'm guilty because i feel bad for myself, but i know it's my own fault and it's the worst feeling ever. she was actually the best girlfriend i can imagine, 100% flawless, when she wanted to go to a party shed make sure id come, and if i couldnt come she called me to tell me she loved me and that everything was ok. I really miss having that, and I'm not giving up on her, not yet atleast, but i'm going to give her the space she needs. I just hope that if there is a next time, i can be everything she's been for me. Link to comment
need2bme Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Andy, with that thought process, maybe you can be. You need to make yourself believe that if you cannot be for her, then the next girl deserves the same loving treatment. No offense, but this viewpoint, "thats all, u didnt sleep with them? thats not that bad", is what gives us all a bad name... Link to comment
andymandy17 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 Yeah, that viewpoint is totally garbage and it's not how you should treat a lady. I'm not one to talk but I know it's not how I feel anymore. Man, she was so good looking too! She also was the lead critic of her school for writing reviews on plays, and she had super high marks, was fit, and really thin. I don't think that I could have changed a thing. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Wait! You only 'felt them up'?? Well it's not like you slept with another woman - totally different story. There's always a line, and if you didn't cross it then you're still aces...well not aces but you at least haven't actually 'cheated' in the most literal sense of the word. It was still bad - but forgivable. Keep that in mind. Link to comment
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