So we broke up and...:\

[Blackhawk2009]

My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of weeks ago i honestly don't really care much about it..actually the minute after we broke up i just went back to what i was doing. I honestly wanted to break up with her before christmas but i waited and then she initiated because we only saw each other 2-4 times during the month of December. I worked 30+hrs per week and the days i had off she was working.

 

I thought about it for a little bit and i realized that our relationship was pointless..we never saw each other and when we did we would only see each other for a couple of hrs or if i went to her house her little brother would harass us..because there is no privacy at her house. So basically our relationship was sex, making out, talking once and a while, and..thats it lol.

 

I think subconsciously i wanted to date her just so i could lose my virginity and get all of the other benefits that i have never had before. I know that wasn't the reason why i dated her but maybe the reason why i just asked her out within the 1st week of meeting her and basically went for the 1st girl that liked me when i liked her a bit too.

 

The whole relationship i knew she liked me a lot more than i liked her.. that also was another problem. Towards the last month of the relationship i stopped talking to her as much, mostly because of finals and job..she actually got mad. I always did the calling and she would just text..i think she was very shy too. She didn't talk very much..made it worse as i would have to make up random stuff to talk about..all the time.

 

And now i looked at her away facebook and she spams all over it, random things about jerks and ignorant people...im like * * * ..i need the money for school, its not my fault, she works graveyard shifts.

 

I just need to get this stuff off my chest because shes making it seem like im a huge jerk when i didn't do anything wrong except work to pay off my large credit card bill from school.

 

well at least i learned from this experience though, i won't make the same mistakes next time

 

looking for some input, on what you guys think..thanks

[Aleadragonhawk]

Well, I'll be honest here. If you completely dropped off the face of the earth for a month, or talked to her once a week, then she probably had reason to rant on her facebook. You've said that you weren't that interested in her, wanted to be in a relationship with her for sex, and that your relationship was pointless. You also said that you knew she was more into you than you were into her. So the huge jerk tag? Might not be that far off base.

 

There are times in a relationship when we cannot be in contact with our partner as much, but that isn't something that you can use as a free ticket that gets you completely off from the way that you behave during that time. If time is short, then small things like sending an email or text, meeting for an hour for lunch, etc, go a long way. It takes effort to maintain a relationship, and it's something that you have to work at all the time. I'm betting if you look back over that month where you stopped talking to her, you'll see plenty of times that you could've called her for fifteen minutes just to chat.