Some friendships not great but better than nothing?

[Rosee]

Throughout my life I've had small groups of friends. I'll never be someone with a massive circle of close friends, it's just not the type of person I am and I am learning that actually that is okay.

 

The issue is, I don't 'click' with many people that I meet, I can get on quite well with most people on a superficial level but anything deeper is quite challenging for me.

 

At the moment I only have a few friends. There is a new friend who I thought I was becoming closer with, but she kind of let me down recently and it's put a dampner on things. That coupled with some prior behaviour makes me wonder if she's all that good of a friend.

 

I just wonder if it's worth having people in your life that you may not necessarily be able to rely on, and just sort of keep them as someone who you do stuff with but try not to get too invested in.

I find that to be somewhat unsatisfying, but maybe I'm too picky and that can lead to ending up with no one.

 

How many chances do you give someone? Is a mediocre frienship better than nothing?

[watupgangsta]

if she hasn't been a good friend so far, she probably won't randomly turn out to be one. some people will always put their needs before yours. however, you need to judge individuals and keep an open mind about the people you meet. you never know who's going to turn out to be a great person.

[stella74]

How many chances do you give someone? Is a mediocre frienship better than nothing?

 

It's definitely okay, and actually healthy, to focus on yourself or your few friends. It just means it's time to simplify your life a bit and open yourself up to new experiences and new people. With time, you'll meet someone you can click with on a deeper level. Not all the new people you'll meet will become close friends. Different people can fulfill different roles in your life. An acquaintance can be a companion and nothing more, for example.

 

I've had periods in my life where I've had a large social group with many close friends and periods where I've only had a few close friends. Friendships are like tides, they come and go. The ones that last the ebbs and flows are the ones that are truly important over time.

 

Someone once advised me to look at the patterns in a friendship rather than how many chances to give someone. If a friend lets you down once or twice and it seems out of character, then see how things go over time. If you're repeatedly let down, it's probably time to let go or at least pare down the friendship to minimal expectations so it doesn't hurt so much. Sometimes people can change, but I've found it usually takes a long time.

[capbit]

I can say I have only a handful of people I can call friends. But I know a lot of people that are more acquaintances, we enjoy each others company but never make an effort to see each other. Like you said, on a superficial level. But some of those relationships can eventually turn into great ones. Give it time and effort, and you never know. I give everyone a chance.

[Gath]

Its always worth having more people in your life. You never know when you might suddenly find something more in common with someone you've previously just barely known and then bam, you're best buds.

 

I try to be good to everyone i meet (well almost everyone), and treat them all as I would like to be treated by my friends. Doing this means I have fewer close friends I suppose, but it is nice to be able to get along with just about everyone and go to most any kind of social gathering and still have fun.

[Rosee]

Thanks for the replies everyone