She doesn't masturbate

[confused_guy84]

I asked my gf the other day if she masturbates and she said no. We're both 23 so I was kind of shocked when she told me this. I thought everyone did?

 

Anyways, she's a virgin and has never had an orgasm. I'm worried she won't be able to show me what she likes, because she doesn't really know. I want her to be satisfied, but I'm not very experienced myself. I've only been in one sexual relationship before this one.

 

Are my fears warranted? Would it be out of line for me to see if she's willing to start?

[Seymore]

A close female friend of mine never does, and my girlfriend never does - well, actually she does, but very, VERY rarely. She did once over the phone with me, but that's it. I wouldn't sweat it - not everyone does.

[alisvolatpropriis]

I'm almost 20 and I almost NEVER do. Granted, I'm not a virgin and I know what I want, I still see nothing wrong with it. I didn't even before I wasn't a virgin. It just doesn't turn me on unless theres someone else doing it.

[AngelEyez]

I don't really do that and I'm a virgin...but that's because I'm never in the mood. Is she depressed? I wouldn't worry about it really. Virgins can get wild other ways.

[doyathink]

I dont. My heart still has a beat to it.

I'd rather have sex.

[greensleeves]

I

Are my fears warranted? Would it be out of line for me to see if she's willing to start?

 

Willing to start what...masturbating or having sex with you?

 

If she's never had an orgasm I'm not too surprised that she doesn't, cause at this point she doesn't know what she's missing yet

[glegend]

Does it really matter that she doesn't jerk off.

[jengh]

I'd rather have sex, too...but if that option isnt available...I go at it a few times a day

[confused_guy84]

Willing to start what...masturbating or having sex with you?

 

If she's never had an orgasm I'm not too surprised that she doesn't, cause at this point she doesn't know what she's missing yet

Masturbating.

 

Does it really matter that she doesn't jerk off.

Well, the only reason I care is that I've heard that women who masturbate are more "in tune" with their body/sexuality. Which would help as far as her opening up to me sexually, showing me what she likes, etc. I don't know if that's bs or not. Otherwise, no, it doesn't matter to me at all.

[m12988]

Personally, before i became sexually active with my fiance, i watched porn. (a normal, non-fetish, non-degrading porn) I learned a lot from it lol. Watching porn helped me find what i thought i would like, and when i'd suggest these positions or techniques to my fiance, we would try them, like them, and do them again I had only had sex 2 times before my fiance and was very inexperienced, and he didn't have much sex either before me. Then we started watching some porn together, and learning more of what we liked and wanted to try. Now, we have a pretty good sex life. So if you are comfortable with porn (like i said, none of those crazy ones, they have cleaner versions of it) and she is, maybe suggest watching it together and getting ideas?

[m12988]

Some people can see masturbating as a little weird, like the whole touching yourself deal can be weird to them. If she doesn't masturbate, dont worry because you can still experiment together as a couple on what she likes/dislikes in bed. Try things and see if you like them and see where you can go with them

[confused_guy84]

Hm, I think I'll ask her about that. I'm not sure how she feels about porn.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I'm not one to masturbate, i've tried it and it just isn't for me. Most people don't believe me when I tell them that but it's the truth. That doesn't mean i'm not "in tune" with my sexuality or that I don't know what I want because I do! I just can't get myself off when i'm alone.

[gearhart123]

I'm a virgin, never masturbated either. For some people, it's just not their thing. Deffinetly not mine.

[prizeless]

My fiance said she has never masturbated either. She said she did it once and it was 2 nights after we had sex. She said she was laying in her bed thinking about how it was being together and she just did it. She said that it just wasn't the same as being together so she never bothered to do it again. She said she has never done it any other time and I believe her.

 

Its hard for us men to realize this, because there isn't a man in existence who hasn't masturbated at least 50 (million) times.

[Cimmie]

Men find that almost impossible to understand.

 

Women are different. That's just how it is. Some do, some don't.

[ghost69]

a lot of women say no. very doubtful.

[doyathink]

To be honest, I never knew so many women DID, till I joined this forum.

 

And Ghost, you're comparing us to men here. When a woman says she doesn't, she doesn't. Really, some of us don't feel the need.

Believe it or not...doesn't change anything. lol

[Natty7]

I understand to each his, or in this case, her own… but NOOOOOOOO masturbation?! My b/f kinda gets on me for doing it too much, but ladies ladies ladies~ THREE ORGASMS IN A ROW~ we CANNOT say no to that. Of course sex feels better, but like another poster said if it ain’t available……. LoL~ Maybe you can suggest her wining and dining herself right before. How weird, but that’s what I do. Just because my man isn’t there doesn’t mean that I can’t be sexy. Or, if you live with each other or you have access to her place, so she feels less… of the solitude of masturbation, run a bubble bath for her~ light some candles~ bottle of wine and just give her a passionate kiss and tell her to have fun thinking of you two. I think it is perfectly healthy, and at times, essential to please yourself. I agree though, it does help you have a better understanding on a very personal level of what you like. Not to say that if you don’t you are clueless, again sex is great so some find themselves with their partner.

 

I definitely agree with the poster that suggested porn, what a neat way to experiment. I know that I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18, but before that time, I did so much research on it. I would suggest maybe getting some books together. I once read a book, something like 221 Ways to Please a Man in Bed…. Great tips! You try them all out and you find out what feels good. For the female’s pleasures, same thing, bone up on it. They have a LOT of books with regards to different positions, I would suggest that too. You would be so surprised how many positions look awkward but feel F’in amazing.

[PinkFlame190]

some people don't...it's not that uncommon. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

[enchiladaman]

I'm sure there are some huge exceptions to the rule but based on my limited experience I will be a little weary of a woman that gets nothing from masturbation in the future. My last relationship was a good sexual relationship but she had never gotten anything out of masterbation and I think it really affected our sex life. I think there was something missing in the bedroom and this was linked to it. She was less in touch with her sexual side, less adventurous, and never initiated sex. Was also completely against me masturbating to porn - and maybe because she couldn't relate at all.

 

We would have great passionate sex...but never fun crazy gotta have you sex that I had had in other past relationships and I wonder if her lack of knowing herself sexually is something that might have contributed to this.

 

Perhaps I'm completely wrong in linking these two. I dunno.

[Mythical_Suicide]

You are definitely wrong in the linking of the two, I get nothing out of masturbation but I absolutely love sex! and i'm very adventurous and I love having fun in the bedroom and I don't think it would be any different/better if I did masturbate. I just don't see the relations. Now, if women don't masturbate because they think it's "gross" or taboo or whatever then yeah, I can see that being a problem but if a women is just like me and just doesn't get anything out of masturbating alone then that doesn't have anything to do with problems in the bedroom.