Vanessa24 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I like posting on forums like this cuz you always get a nice census from everyone....ppl seem very sweet and sincere here! I am 25 and moved to another country 18mos ago, and me n my bf have been together for about 8 months. I love him very much, and deeper and truer than i have ever loved anyone else and i know he loves me too. We often talk about our future and marriage n kids n stuff, and we are both on teh same wavelength. We get along very well and I think we are a great couple. The part thats confusing me is something i suspect to be realitively common amongst other girls my age. Everytime i go on facebook or something, I see that 3 more of my friends are married/engaged/happily pregnant. I am very happy for them and i always look at the photos and think of how lucky they are and then i wonder if this sort of "dream" is clouding my judgement. I step back, look at my bf, glow with love for him/us and im content again. I know an engagement at this point is very premature and think maybe in a year's time or something but does anyone else feel this? I feel guilty but i know he loves me and he's on teh same track but my mind just runs away with me....as much as we love each other, should we make a go of this? do i really believe this or am i wishing it true? its a total chicken or the egg thing....sorry if this isnt making sense~! Basically, we love each other very very much, and everything is great and we see each other together for a long long time. But, is this us hoping we're right for each other or is it genuine....? Link to comment
hmdreamer7 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 aww, you guys sound so cute! Well first of all, it's normal for you to feel this way about getting engaged. When your closest friends are getting married/engaged/happily pregnant, you want to experience the kind of happiness that they have in being married/engaged/pregnant. Trust me, I have TONS of friends like that right now - and I'm not the type of girl who has planned her wedding since childhood, but because of my friends, I definitely think about it more often! If this is someone you really love, then thinking with the future in mind is the next step for the two of you. But also, marriage is a very big step, so go slow when you do end up talking about it together. Maybe ask where he sees himself/the two of you together, in the future. Link to comment
livinginsbi Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 All we can do is speak from our experiences - so I will speak from mine. I think 8 months is enough time to start thinking about the total commitment. At this point the 'honeymoon' phase is pretty much over and you have both probably shown your not so pleasant sides to each other. But there is also no rush - as long as you feel your realtionship is progressing - just keep those lines of communication completely open. My husband and I have been together for 15 years - married for 12 - and we were in the exclusive not engaged relationship for about a year before we got engaged, then planned our wedding for about a year. This past year has been the absolute worst for us. We split twice and were ready to make it final at the beginning of this year - then alot of stuff changed and we decided to try again. He had issues he was keeping from me and our communication broke down. We both poured ourselves into our jobs, which only complicated the issues. He finally came clean with what was bothering him and while it helps now - it's going to be really hard to get back the closeness we once shared and I'm just hoping it does come back. I'm telling you this because what you feel right now will change, but as long as you two keep on the same page and help each other through these inevitable changes - it will make your bond even stronger. Hope this helps a little - Link to comment
Vanessa24 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 thank you both for your very kind words!! If anyone has any advice for me being in the stage of the relationship we are at and our age (24-25) i would be all ears!! I try to keep rational and realistic, but its just really exciting Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Aaah...young love . You've made me excited for you! Link to comment
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