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So~ Do you give your number or what?


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So I understand my boyfriend’s point of view, but am still completely curious! He thinks that it is unhealthy to bring up past sexual relationships with your current significant other. Hence, I have never learned of his number of sexual partners, and he has never asked about mine. From what he has said and allowed to slip, I think he may have been with a lot less women than I have men…. I know it shouldn’t matter because we have both been checked out and we are both in a monogamous relationship, but I guess I was wondering what your opinions are on the “roster.” Do you share? Is that something you NEED to know? Or are you like my guy, let bygones be bygones? Just something I am pondering lightly.


Hope all is well with everyone!

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Nope, you don't share. All you need to know is if he took precautions and has been tested since you have been together and monogamous for at least 6 months.


He's right- that's none of your business and your past is none of his business, and does nothing but bring up jealousy, hurt feelings, and insecurities.

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I agree, always keep those skeletons in the closet. If they ask, don't tell. That way no-one gets hurt.


Granted my 'hitlist' has changed my veiws. Especially bieng female, if a guys hears you've slept with X ammount of people, they think you are a slag. And vice versa. It interferes with the relationship indirectly.


Though if you are happy to tell, then fair enough. I wouldn't advice it though, but all to there own. Hope I've helped

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Yeah, you're right, better to keep that buried in the past. Curiosity did kill the cat. And to be honest, I think I just want to know but if I really knew it would eat me up. With other men I have always shared because they always wanted to know and always wanted to tell. I remember being jealous in my mind thinking up little scenarios when he told me the number or showed me a picture of the chic.


Thanks guys~ I will continue to check that baggage at the door.



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Yeah, and after that he had an exclusive g/f for what, 5-6 years. I think that might be why he doesn't want to say. I was only thinking very nonchalantly about it, I don't need to know. But my guess is it's only a handful. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter either way.

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Sure I do, but my desire not to have to justify the number of partners I've had trumps my curiosity.


Well put. There would have to be a lot of exhausting justification. With the curiosity of an ex of mine I actually found myself describing certain things to his request. Of course, that is an "Am I fat question" that NO response or description should follow. I was 18 at the time and he asked me for details, I don't think he ever forgave me for telling him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Yeah, learned my lesson with that one.

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This can be a very sensitive question!


There have been quite a few threads here where people say they heard their partner had a lot of partners before them and they want to know whether they should dump them because of it.


So the idea of a female being a 'tramp' if she sleeps with 'a lot' of people still lingers in socieity and disturbs some men. and the number 'a lot' varies a lot based on how conservative the guy is.


I had a friend i asked this question, and his response was 'Not so many... oh, maybe 100 or so'... of course that shocked me because he saw that as 'not so many'...


so the acceptable 'number' really changes a lot from generation to generation in terms of what is considered acceptable to people, and whether you are male or female, and how conservative the partner is.


Grandma thinks 1 is the right number for women, maybe 2 or 3 max for men. but some of the young girls in L.A. now thing 300 is not too many if they're on the party scene...


so it is a mindfield i think that is best left undisturbed, especially if you are a woman because lots of people still have a double standard on what a 'good girl' should NOT have in terms of number of partners.

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I guess I have a different point of view to most of the people who have replied in this thread. I like to know and have no problem knowing how many people my partner has been with. I talk about it quite early on actually, it doesn't bother me if its a lot or a few, I'm just curious to know. Myself and my current partner have almost the same number, he has one more than I do. We are really open with eachother and have even discussed some details about our previous partners/one nighters.


I like to know because my imagination is a lot worse than the reality. We are just really open people and not much seems to bother us too much.

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