Can't think of anything to say... ever...

[antigravity]

Hi everyone...

 

Recently I've been having real trouble figuring out what to say to people, in any given situation. Whether i'm in a group, or one-on-one with something, I just can't seem to say anything even mildly interesting.

 

If people are talking to me, I always just give really generic answers and responses... I can't seem to shake my mind up to talk like a normal person anymore. Sometimes I sit there and actually think of something individual or creative to say but I can't... Think of it as the complete opposite of witty. I have absolutely no wit, and I hate it. I feel like my brain is lazy, and I can't kick start it to be normal again.

 

I've never been an overly funny person, but I used to be able to talk to people and feel comfortable doing so. But now, I just can't seem to ever feel comfortable, with anyone. And its driving me nuts. I'm worried that I'm going to recoil further and further from people and become one of those 'loners'.

 

Has anyone else gone through this? Is there anyone else out there like this now? I really need some advice of what I can try to do.

 

Thanks

[antigravity]

Also, I am on anti-depressants as from time to time, I can get quite depressed and have (as you can see) some social anxiety issues... I go through small stretches where I'm ok, but more often than not I really struggle to feel comfortable in social situations.

[ilovepoemsalot]

I've experienced the not know what to say thing a lot too.

 

Maybe it's anxiety that causes this, maybe it's because we're to focused on ourselves instead of the topic.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

when talking to people, you just react like normal. dont ever think about what to say just say it. this problem i never had, so that means i can help you. me and my friends are nothing alike, i mean nothing, one is a island kid, who listens to bob marley(i dont) one loves cars (i know nothing about cars) but how does it work? simple

 

hey i just put a new v8 under my hood jay

 

me i would reply with?

 

you know good and well i dont know about a v8, why do you mock me? then laugh

 

just react, say whatever you want to say...........thinking about what your going to say will never work

[antigravity]

Yeah im not sure what it is. Its strange, because its not that i'm afraid to say some things... Sure I mean that does happen sometimes, but its more like my mind draws a complete blank, and all I can think of saying is something generic and standard.

[Raize]

You ain't the only one man. I Often feel like I am a fairly witty and observant person, but what I feel inside does not always come out as I'd like to... ie generic and standard just like you say you feel in talking.

 

I get my occasional 'life of the party' moments, especially after drinking, but too much more often than not, I end up being the quiet guy to the side at parties and social situations in general.

 

My only advice, and I should take this advice more often myself... Try and find things about life, and the world in general to be excited and amped about. Sure its cliche. But it does seem to work. Though it can often be easier said than done...

[Gath]

Sounds like you just arne't comfortable with people yet. Just keep putting in the effort to hang out with people.

 

If you can't think of anything to say, just smile and be friendly and laugh at their jokes. then slowly start working in some of your own life stories as you get comfortable.

[antigravity]

Yeah friends of mine say that if I didn't tell them I felt this way, they would have never guessed. So I obviously seem ok, but I just hate this feeling I have inside, always feeling like its a struggle to communicate and connect with people.

 

I wish I could just talk naturally to people and not get worried or anxious about what i'm going to say, or what they're going to think or whatever...

 

I'm deeply interested in a lot of things, politics, philosophy, music, cars, sport, a whole heap of things, but I can never seem to have a meaningful, interesting discussion about anything with anyone. Its really frustrating and upsetting.

 

Ahhh wish I knew what to do

[sweetheart21]

It sounds like you only give standard generic answers because you're scared of what others will think if you actually give your opinion or say something personal. You need to figure out a way to boost your confidence a little. (hard I know!) Then you wont care as much what other people will think of you.

[Dating Coach]

You seem like you speak well through the cpu. You express yourself very well this way. Perhaps work on coming up with things to say through the computer first, be wittier and funnier this way. Once your brain is more accustomed to this, then focus more in person. Also, observe witty people and how they interract in person.

[Dating Coach]

A lot of the drama and weirdness of a situation comes from the person themselves. I have no trouble in social situations, but if I was sitting in a social group and intentionally acted nervous or uncertain, the rest of the group would feel it from me. Then, the things I said or how I acted would become a bigger deal then they actually are. All because I created the drama and weirdness in my own mind first.

 

If you just said whatever and didn't give a damn then chances are that the other people around you wouldn't feel the awkwardness at all because you didn't bring that drama.

 

I think most socially challenged people find situations awkward due to lack of confidence. They could say the same thing with confidence and it wouldn't be awkward at all. But since they feel it themselves, others feel it and then judge you accordingly.

[shy2cool]

It sounds like you only give standard generic answers because you're scared of what others will think if you actually give your opinion or say something personal. You need to figure out a way to boost your confidence a little. (hard I know!) Then you wont care as much what other people will think of you.

 

OMG, that's like me in a nutshell!

 

To the OP - good luck and I understand what you're going through. I too feel that I'm starting to become a loner and I clearly don't want to be.

[boo121]

Ask for somebodies opinion on something, if you run out of things to say. Everyone loves to give their opinion on things.

[saleen_281]

Hey im mentally retarted too sometimes, and im not witty at all but im getting better at it. Im around witty people all the time and sometimes i can hang with them but most of the time i crash and burn. what im trying to say is you dont just become the change you want to see in your self, you need to work at it. I used to be worried about not knowing what to say, but now i look forward to finding a good comeback, or saying something funny. Sometimes it comes out wrong, but when it comes out right you feel so good about yourself. GL

[Dennis619]

Totally describes my situation. Aside from my family, i cant think of nothing to say when im talking people. it seems other people dont even have to think about what they are saying, conversation just comes naturally to them. But whenever i try to say something it always comes out either short and boring or awkward and everybody looks at me weird. maybe its just all in my head like dating coach said, but its easier said than done to not care about what you say or what you sound like.

[irie33]

Totally describes my situation. Aside from my family, i cant think of nothing to say when im talking people. it seems other people dont even have to think about what they are saying, conversation just comes naturally to them. But whenever i try to say something it always comes out either short and boring or awkward and everybody looks at me weird. maybe its just all in my head like dating coach said, but its easier said than done to not care about what you say or what you sound like.

 

this sounds like me too... has anyone been able to convert themselves from not being able to thinks of anything to say to being competent at conversations?