red rose Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 hi im new here im not sure where to start me and my hubby has been married for 5 years recently i started a new job and this guy got my phone number he has been teting me alot about meeting up with him anyways my hubby found these messages at the time he did not seem bothered but a night later after a couple of drinks he says he keeps his phone on silent because he receives these messages as well by girls he meets at work well i no i should not go through his phone but i have never found anything im not sure what to think when he told me it did not bother me so he says do i think he is not attractive enough to have someone interested in him what do you ive thought about it is it because he found mine he is now saying this i dont no any advice would be great thanks Link to comment
winchester3 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 We can only speculate, the only real solution is to talk to him about it. After being married for 5 years i don't see communication being a problem. Just have to word your question properly i guess. Or flirtingly/jokingly ask him then reassure him he's got nothing to worry about by having a steamy night of sex? Your call. Link to comment
red rose Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 thanks im just not sure weather he said it just to get back at me or not i made him promise to take his phone of silient which he has done x Link to comment
winchester3 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 If that was my situation, and some guy my girlfriend works with kept texting her about wanting to meet up and i found these messages on her phone I'd ask "Who's ........" and if she gets defensive about snooping I'd jokingly admit to it, de-arming the situation. Then she tells me who he is, depending on my mood I'd tell her "Sure that sounds like a fabulous thing to do, when do WE have to be there" and I'd just be a jerk to him all night (casual insults) all the while being all over my girlfriend. Then again I've only ever touched someone else's cell phone to make a call, i don't know how to work all that texting stuff. Link to comment
red rose Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 do you think he has just said he also received text messages from other woman just to try and piss me off or what im not sure x Link to comment
winchester3 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Your husband wants to piss you off?? I'm thinking he said it to lie to himself so that he feels better due to jealousy. Link to comment
red rose Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 thanks do feel abit better x Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I would like to know why you are accepting these messages from your co-worker. Why aren't you telling the co-worker that you are married and to stop asking to meet up and stop sending you the texts. Your husband is clearly upset and is trying to make you feel the hurt he is feeling. Do the two of you have communication problems? Clearly he is not communicating his feelings to you very clearly and you don't seem to understand that your actions or inactions are wrong. The two of you need to sit down and talk about this. Maybe some women are sending him texts. Your marriage needs to be fixed before you are both tempted to take these other people up on their offers. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 This sounds a little bit high school-ish. I think you assume that your husband tells the truth and that he gets messages from women that he does not act upon. And that he is trying to tell you that it is crossing the line to have a man texting you to meet up. Does this man know you're happily married? In what context does he wish to meet up? For lunch, to discuss business? Or one on one "socializing?" Is he married? Sounds like you're ignoring the real issue - you seem to be playing with fire - in favor of deflecting it to your husband. Link to comment
Gath Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 While I'm not sure what to make of his response (it sounds like something a little kid would say), I would certainly be jealous and a bit annoyed. I'd probably go tell this guy to back off. Link to comment
rokston Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 i agree with Crazy. and Batya. what is the story with these message you're getting? it sounds like they are not work related but social. in fact sounds like you think they are come ons or asking you out. if that is the case, you need to deal with the situation because it is not appropriate! sounds like your husband is jealous and probably has reason to be with the lack of communication between you regarding the issue. his response may be immature but deep down he's waiting for some assurance from you and probably questioning your acceptance and feelings about the messages. Link to comment
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