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inter-racial relationships- need help from indian and white ppl


martha

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Hi! I write an advice column for a magazine and usually I can answer everyone's questions without any problem but this one genuinely has me stumped because I myself haven't had to think about this subject very often--- I feel ashamed to admit it but- I need outside help!

 

A girl has sent me a letter saying she likes this guy who is american (she's american too) but he's of indian descent. She says she's shy but he's shy too and currently they're just friends but she's like, in love with him. if he doesn't like her she says she'll probably get over it but she has a bit of a thing for indian guys but notices that any time she sees an indian guy with a girl she's always indian too, and wants to know if indian guys only like indian girls as a rule. I know that everyone is different and that you can't say a whole race likes this or that but I'm just talking in a general sense- such as, I notice most of the time, black guys tend to go for black girls and vice versa.

 

Also, strangely I got another letter from an indian guy asking if white girls had anything against indian guys as they seemed not to be interested in him. And no- this is not the guy from the other girl's letter- if you read their letters you can see that each of their situations are quite different.

 

but I'm asking indian and white people- do indian guys like white girls, do white girls like indian guys?

PS-I'm not really sure myself because I'm just one girl and I'm greek so as a rule I'm usually just attracted to other greek/italian or white guys (and sometimes black guys) peace out!

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There's no overall rule, everyone has their own preferences. Some people prefer to date within their own race, others prefer to date outside their race, others don't care either way!

 

For the Indian culture specifically, there *could* be family/tradition pressures for an Indian man to find and marry an Indian women, but it totally depends on how traditional (or not) this man's family is. As usual, there is only one way for this woman to find out what she needs: ask! The worry of the racial situation is just another excuse to not initiate anything, IMHO.

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My background is Indian, and I could go out with any race and my longest relationship has been with a white girl.

 

Are you sure you write for an advice column because this is a bizarre question for a "dating expert". It's likely that this girl in particular is just dealing with a shy guy and if she really wants to get with him she'll either have to make her intentions very obvious, or ask him out herself.

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PS-I'm not really sure myself because I'm just one girl and I'm greek so as a rule I'm usually just attracted to other greek/italian or white guys (and sometimes black guys) peace out!

 

Ti kaneis martha? Ola kala?

 

Im greek too, I guess you could guess what the G in Glegend stands for.

I think the answer to your question would be that anything is possible. I knew a girl back in high school that was 1/2 native and half jamacian. Just as some of us greeks are attracted to italian I say the same would apply to just everyone else.

Personally I am attracted to greek, italian, and macedonian women. Eventhough we all know macedonai is greek.

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I'm not a dating expert- it's a general social skills colomn- I deal with bullying and depression and stuff like that generally for school kids.

Thanks for welcoming me to the forum and thanks for your replies- I guess it's all just common sense, race shouldn't matter

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I'm not a dating expert- it's a general social skills colomn- I deal with bullying and depression and stuff like that generally for school kids.

Thanks for welcoming me to the forum and thanks for your replies- I guess it's all just common sense, race shouldn't matter

 

Ah, sorry if I was a bit harsh in my reply. But yes, my advice would be to tell the girl race shouldn't be an issue and that she should ask him out to get her answer. Commendable what you do.

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I am not white or Indian, but since I have the Skittles tastes, liking girls of all colors, I observed interracial couples around me to see if I had a shot with any particular race I was interested in at the time, to see if it was common. I'm kinda in a weird circle. I have a weird look to me. I am black, people think I am hispanic or "other" and people often ask me what nationality I am or ask me if I am spanish. So if I dated a black girl, it would look interracial to most even though it isn't.

 

Now NYC is a melting pot for everyone, but when I fall head over heels for a caucasian girl or even a Middle Eastern girl, I try to see if guys like me get the girls like I am currently interested in. I guess I gotta do that for the black girls too lol.

 

I noticed that the least common demoninator is the black girl with the white guy. I don't mean Halle Berry black girl, I mean the Whoopie Goldberg... ironically she dated Ted Dansen and had a lot of people wondering if the earth tilted off it's axis.

 

A lot of white guys go for the light skinned black girl (who may look interracial themselves) but not the dark skinned black. This was true until last year when I saw more white guys dating 100% black girls. I never noticed how rare it was until I saw it. A lot of the girls in my mother's side are light skinned or mixed while my father's side are more 100% black looking, even Japanese (Blackanese) which is a long story.

 

There is also a friend of mine, hispanic, who perferred white or hispanic girls in the Eva Longoria mold. Wouldn't go near a black woman although he found them attractive, just not for him. A few years ago, he met, fell in love with and married a black girl. When he told me he was in love with her, he mentioned every quality about her that he loved and never said a thing about his preference before hand. If he saw her on the street and never talked to her, he probably would think she was pretty but not his type. After getting to know her, she was his type. Get it?

 

What I am trying to say is that even if the case is rare, it is not impossible. Attraction is so funny. I was insanely attractive to this girl who was sprinkled with freckles and was not traditionally attractive. But the way she was was my type and I liked her alot. Unless people have hardcore preferences, you'd be surprised at how something so little as a look in the eyes or a type of humor or similar interests/obstacles in life can make someone attractive to you.

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that is a generalization because no one indian guy or one white girl has indifferences about one another. It is what it is and it is true that some cultures are taught to only date their own race and this maybe true with East indians. Seldom do you see them mix but it also depends on where you are in the world

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  • 2 months later...

listen, i'm an indian guy and i'm in a relationship with a white girl. there's nothing that says tat indian guy's can't be attracted to white girls and white girls can't be attracted to indian guys. that would be absurd to even think. in the end it always depends on you personality. if yuo have a good personality, it doesn't matter if your black, white, blue, indian, chinese, lithuanian or yugoslavian. if there is an attraction, yo can't really help it.

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