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how to talk about past relationships/partners


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ive been dating a great guy for about 4 months. we have never talked about our past relationships or amount of partners. im not sure how to bring it up at this point. i feel like its something we should have talked about a long time ago (before we were official we spent a lot of alone time for about two months and it feels like it should have happened then). i also feel that since the talk is overdue (in my opinion) he will think im bringing it up for some specific reason.


just looking for a segway or something to get into this topic. i dont think i can just say, "hey tell me about your ex's" or "how many people have you slept with".

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well i think you need to hear about someones past relationships. it really clues you in on stuff about them. what they are looking for/what they arent. how they deal with problems or stress and just what type of partner they will/are/can be. he's my love and i think we will be together for many years, maybe forever, and i will need to know this. he will become my best friend and we need to share a lot.


i like to know how many partners someone ive been with has had just to know. health reasons.


believe me, im not that person who asks and holds it over their head. the past is the past but the past can help/clarify the furture.

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I try and avoid details of past partners as much as possible! I would be glad if it never even came up. I prefer to think I'm the first and last. (Even though it sounds dillusional).

Why bring up the past and be reminded of others who lay next to him, and next to you? I agree the past makes us who we are, but some guys and girls end up getting all bothered (a bit too much) over their partners past.

My bf asked me once about sexual partners, etc for instance, and I dunno.. I didn;'t have a high number, but I KNOw (and he admitted it) that if I did, he wouldn't see me as less, but he would definatly look at me a bit differently. And it also provoked light feelings of jealousy (which to me is a normal reaction, I feel somewhat same when he talks of exes).

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I would not ask for details. It is okay to bring it up casually so that you get an idea of how many women he dated, and the duration of those relationships as that is good info to know, but don't ask any sexual details other than a generic how many sexual partners have you had in the past, or how many one night stands have you had.....anymore than that and you tread on dangerous ground. These convos get ugly as they can really make your mind wander in a bad way.

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Just ask him if he has strong feelings for you then you should be able to talk about anything. Just be clear with your questions and reasons behind them and it will be fine. Past relationships do reveal a lot about a persons character could show you their deepest insecurities all you can do is just make sure to assure him that you will be there for him.

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