Please read...I NEED SOLID ADVICE HERE.

[ewokbiscuit]

Ok, so I have been doing fine - going along with LC/NC for at least a month now. Long story short, she has told me on many occasions she has moved on. After 9 months of me chasing,fighting and trying - I no longer care. I just don't give a crap anymore. She has resisted me to the point of pushing me away, and succeeded. At that point I initiated a full blown decision to get out from the house we both own, and I am finally picking up all my stuff in a few weeks to boot.

 

Friday morning, I get a "Hi!!! How are you??" e-mail at work. Like it was nothing at all. Mind you, we had not spoken over New Years, exchanged New Years pleasantries or nothing. I responded with a simple "hello. I'm fine."

She then responds immediately, with "I want to see you, I miss your face." ?!?!?! um, ok. She also says "I don't think we should make such a huge decision of you leaving ( I told I was moving away, which I am) without seeing each other face to face."

 

This really pissed me off.

 

I have been fighting for almost a YEAR, paying half a mortgage on a house I don't live in, basically grovelling like a dog to get her back - and she wasn't having it. I was getting strung along like a mouse with a piece of cheese in front of him. She has been dating someone else the whole time. Then when I finally pull away saying enough is enough - she half a$$edly tries to keep me around on the hook by dropping lines like "I don't want to lose you for good." Or "I miss our day to day activities". Or even having the balls to say something like "Don't we owe it to us to try to work this out?" ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??? I've been saying that to her all along.

 

I am so thouroughly confused now, I have no idea which way is up again.

 

Should I go see her as she requested? (Mind you, I've seen her 3 times before in the last 9 months - same result...nothing changed. What is one more time going to do except for hurt me again?)

 

I am thinking about just telling her "I am sick of your games. You will ride the fence forever if you had a choice. I am coming down on the 17th to pick up my things. You can choose to see me then if you so please."

 

WHAT SHOULD I DO???? :sad:

[robert7x]

a lot of people will disagree with me but I would go see her and see what's up. That way you could also see if you still have any feelings for her left. One more meeting probably won't change a thing.

[rockr]

well if you have decided to move on , you do that. people love playing games and play with emotions like its no big deal. and try to avoid the last moment dramas if she does come that day. its easier that way.

 

if it doesn't matter anymore , it shouldn't matter anymore.

[auburnslp]

Seems to me there are two possibilities on what is going on...

 

First, she and her boyfriend broke up, for whatever reason, and she wants you back. Doesn't want to be alone. Maybe she broke it off because you are leaving...maybe she decided she wants you after all...

 

Second, she is continuing to drag you along...it happened to me as well, an ex doing just enough to keep me in her back pocket, just in case...and brother, we deserve better than to be Plan B for anyone.

 

She has treated you poorly, you are over it. For the most part at least. Why not get out and find someone who is decent enough to never do this to you? Someone who will love you and treat you like you deserve to be treated? And those two questions are valid no matter what the reason for her sudden correspondence.

 

It's tough, I know. I lived it until I finally got sick of it and broke all contact. And I am happy again...found a girl that would never treat me that way, a honest, smart, kind, beautiful girl. You will too. Good luck brother.

[Dako]

I'd skip the manipulation and get away from her before you get drawn into her orbit as a plaything.

[CatsMeeoow]

If there is even some small part of you that would like to try to restablish things then I would certainly take the bait but guard your heart.

 

Maybe NOW that you aren't trying so hard and that you've walked away the pressure is gone and she has been able to relax and decide what it is that she wants.

 

If I were in your shoes I would go.

 

Why look back and wonder what if????

 

Good Luck with whatever you decide!

[Ben Bax]

You've stated all the reasons why you shouldn't meet this girl... what else is there to say?

[ewokbiscuit]

Yeah but here is how I see it Cats meow:

 

I've seen her THREE times for weekend getaways to "test the waters" so to speak...with all the same results: NOTHING. She has continually kept seeing new guy, all the while-messing with my head. I swore the last itme she did it I was done, I'd be a fool to let her keep playing games.

 

The way I see it this: You don't "need" to see me to determine what is in your heart. If it is in your heart, then she'd call me up, break it OFF COMPLETELY with new guy, and ask me to return home. PERIOD.

 

Anything else is just bs games to me, dragging it out more and more.

[Beginningandend]

It sounds to me like you have already made your decision, really. Let her go, be civil about it even if that may be difficult, but let her go.

[samantha20]

I understand completely what you're going through. My ex has dumped me 3 times in 2 months. The first time we split for about a month and I begged to get her back but she kept saying no. When I finally gave up she changed her mind and said she wanted me back. I gave it another go, but a week later she broke up with me again! Within an hour she said that she didn't mean it and DID want to be with me. I told her she couldn't keep messing me around and she swore that she def wanted to be with me and wouldn't dump me again. She dumped me AGAIN new year's eve which was about a week later and is sticking by the decision. Even if she did want me back now, I couldn't risk the pain of her breaking up with me again. She is now texting me a lot and begging me to carry on being her best friend and spending time with her. I think that she is probably scared of losing the attention that you have been giving her more than anything else. From my experience I would say be wary.

[GottaLetItBurn]

I'm not in the same situation as you but I feel like I'm in your shoes in some way. I think your guess is as good as anyones, definitely say good by and tell her the game is up. She should have cherished you when she had the chance, she lost you, you didn't lose her.