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My how time makes a difference!!

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Hello everyone,


5-1/2 months ago my 5-1/2 year relationship ended (not my choice). I was a basket case for at least 4 months. I cried every day. I could not sleep, Food was not good. Nothing interested me. All I could think about was her. I was so attached and in love with her. I made every common mistake. You all know, you have been there. To make matters worse I lost my job during this and I hit the big 5 0. Needles to say it was a rough time.


I did some good things. I read all about grieving and healing. I got a lot of insight from ENA. I started to exercise daily (weights, walking and biking). I ate healthier. I lost 35 pounds. I started going to church (thats a big one for me). I went to therapy (I did this after not eating for 3 days, figured I needed help). It helped. I got a better job making more money. I am meeting new people.


The fact that I am healing was brought home today at work. My company deals with the company that my ex works for. Today I answered the phone and it was her. I have not spoke to her in awhile. It was a nice conversation and we asked each other how we were doing. We joked around a little. The it was over. A few months ago I would have been a basket case. Today I was a little sad on the way home, I even teared up a little, then it was over.


For the first time in 6 years I have a date. In fact I have 2 of them, one for each day this weekend. I have been out of the dating scene for quite sometime. I am excited.


On New Years Eve I celebrated the ending of 2007, a really bad year for many of us. What I should have done was to celebrate the future. 2008 promises to be a great year and I am for the first time in 6 months looking forward to the future. I have learned volumes about myself during all of this. I know that I can love deeply and I know what it feels like to be in love. I know more than ever what I am looking for in a person. Most important I know I will find love again. I have hope once again!





I am thankful that I found this great site!!


Thank you!!!!

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Thank you for sharing your story. You clearly have accomplished a lot within 5.5 months. It took me about 7 months after a 2 yr relationship to have feelings for other people. I am now in my 11th month and the reason I am on today is just to check in and to lend my support when I can. So again, wonderful story. I love this site too and all the people who helped me through so much pain. If one could bottle the amount of love on this site, it would solve world problems (ok, I'm joking here.)


One of the best lessons I've learned is to there is constant and continual work I can do on myself to be a better person. Now that the pain of the breakup has diminished, I'm glad to still be so much more self aware. I hope the same goes for you as the learning process in life never has to stop. As I now like to say, its the process in life which should be enjoyed, not the end goal.


I wish you the best in the new year. I've gotten to a point where I can remain open to others and begin to feel the feelings that I identify with love. However, I am also very self aware of red flags and I now am able to avoid similar situations which may end up hurting me in the long run.


Good luck to you. Please continue to check in and please continue to share your story and your learning.


Cheers to your future.

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