What women want

[buffalosoldier]

Hey,

 

I have a question.I was reading an article on the net the other day on how men attract women (just out of curiosity) and it said something that confused me a little.

 

'Theres a difference between what women WANT and what women NEED'.

 

Does anyone has any opinions on this?i think it was referring to the 'nice guy Vs bad boy' thing.

 

What do you all think??

[Tonk]

I think a lot of women and men for that matter are attracted to the people who are bad for them. I have known several friends and gf's that have been attracted to guys who treat them extremely badly. it seems like a need to prove to themselves they can have what they cant regardless of the effect to them and those around them. Its like an explorers thirst for the unattainable or partner that doesnt want them rather than the safe partner who would be 1000 times better for them.

 

Such is life if only you could get people to step back from there situation and think logiocally rather than with there emotions. ok I know there is a place for both but sometimes people only go with there emotions and dont see although they find someone sexy because they are bad for them they are making themselves pretty unsexy and sad in the process.

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Buffalosoldier

 

my 1000th post winner hehe.

 

Ok yes this is true. in a sense, here is the problem.

 

Gals are basically attracted to, Confident guys, this relates to "Alpha" males in the animal kingdom. these guys dont care about losing any gal, their attitude is, "your lucky if your mine" they take command, problem is most often then not, they are abusive, self centered, and unfaithful.

 

Beta males, are usually the "nice guys" they are usually faithful, supportive and caring. usually the guy women end up marrying.

but if the gal cheats, she will usually do it with a Alpha guy.

 

thats our primitive biological wiring, of course we have intelligence and many women do follow it, but most are still attracted to the Alphas, its funny how much like animals we still are.

 

why you think gals go for guys that have other woman after them? you think its because of looks, or their sparkling personality? nope.

 

why you think many women get all bent out of shape for some creep that couldnt care less about them?

 

Now if your a nice guy that "acts" like an Alpha, then you have an edge.

 

but it isnt true that nice guys finish last, it actually , nice guys have the last laugh.

 

what happens in later years is: Girls wisen up, want to settle down, marry have kids, they want security in the relationship, this is when nice guys are preferred, through pain and heartbreak these women have learned that "Alphas" are lousy partners. at least the smart ones do.

 

what happens to the Alphas?, poor guys go though mid-life crises, desperatly searching for confirmation that they can still score babes.

 

the above is just general, like i said, upbringing and good ol common sense can make some difference.

 

One of the best Documentarys I have ever seen was a BBC mini series, called "The Human Animal" . wish i could find it on DVD.

 

there are other factors, such as money and power that attract women, it all has to do with primitive evolutionary programming, power=Alpha male, Money = Provider/power. although in cave man days Alpha meant protection, today an Alpha is more likely to be the violent type. dont need to worry so much about protection from Saber tooth tigers. but gals are still wired for that, so guys with muscles (strength) is another attractive factor.

 

Nothing we take for granted in human behavior is by accident. its in our genes. its the same now as it was 50,ooo years ago.

 

So you see, when I see some woman, crying for the guy that left them, that couldnt care less for them, cheated on them, maybe even abusive towards them. i see a woman that is still a slave to her genetic programing.

 

hey guys have their programming too, they are attracted to young (fertile) women, they will sleep with "easy women" (spreading their seed) but will not usually marry them, thats why gals that think you can win a mans heart by sleeping with them wont work, and this is why men respect and value girls that are hard to get. men will sleep with anything, but marry the one they believe are worthy. from a evolutionary point of view, a woman that doesnt have sex easy, is less likely to cheat, and in turn wont get pregnant from some other male, because if that happens he is hunting and providing for someone elses seed. nature knows what she is doing.

 

so you see, there is a reason why guys will sleep with any gal, but only marry/stay with the ones that at least seem commited.

 

this goes on and on in so many things, really, humans are not much different then animals when it comes to mating.

[buffalosoldier]

Hey guys thanks for your responses!!!

 

WOW Gilgamesh i think you hit the nail right on the head with what i was trying to get at! you answered a million questions in that post.

 

I agree with all that was said,and i find it amazing how animal-like humans really are when it comes to the crunch.-We may have superior brains to animals,but at the end of the day we are merely evolved apes.

 

Sometimes i wonder how a modern day human being would cope if left in an environment where they really had to fend for themselves and survive as an animal.Its all to do with conditioning,there are so many machines and things like shops to do all the hard work for us that in a way i think has made us lose some of that instinct,and over time will be greater.

 

Sorry,slightly off topic there!! but yes when it comes down to it,we are all here to pro-create and its all about survival of the fittest when it comes to instinct.So do you think it is more important to fulfill a womans 'wants' or a womans 'needs'?could this cause conflict?

[Centralshyguy]

Right on Gilgamesh! You are so right about what girls "want" and what girls "need". But remember that not all girls are like that, as in not all men are looking for the young fertile woman. Some women explore more than others and find out the hard way about the "alpha" males. And that is why many of the "beta" males, me included, get so angry when women go for the wrong type of people.

[Gilgamesh]

One thing people are capable of is adapting, and experiences mold us, so a gal after dating a string of "wrong guys" may eventually reflect and say to her self, you know, maybe im looking at the wrong kind of dudes here. well at least the smart ones do. the really pathetic women are the ones that think that because of something they got, they are going to change a man or make him do something he just not going to do. so they eaither accept his short comings or they move on sometimes getting the same type of guy again with the same problems.

 

How many times have you seen a woman or man complain that, all guys are the same they are jerks, or vice versa? we have even seen it ourselfs. a girl may have a string of guys that were all commitment phobics or heavy drinkers, or violent.

 

Its not because all guys are like that (we know better) but because who these women or men are attracted to. once they change that pattern all of a sudden they will be attracting different people in their lives.

 

BuffaloSoldier the things your curious about has also been the interest of many through the years, Tarzan for example was really a challange to British belief in being noble in blood, her was a gentlemans son, raised by apes, so what wins over his personality? his noble blood or his upbringing? another story that comes to mind is the "Lord of the Flies"

 

Genetically we are not much different then our caveman dwellers, we are violent animals, its our upbringing that makes us different. the first 3 years of life I believe are where we adapt to our environment, its in those first few years that probably determin 90% of who we will become.

 

This has been shown/proven in simian behavior, a baby chimp removed from its mother, that receives no love and attention, grows up to be anti social, violent, and a bad mother. the chimps upbringing bypassed surpassed its genetics. we are the same. a baby brought up in a loving home with 2 parents, is going to be a more stable adult capable of loving and being loved when they grow up.

 

This is not to say that a child from a broken family cannot learn top love, because we have something the chimps dont, we have self awarness, and we can see in ourselfs whats wrong, and work to make changes, its a struggle for some. and some never do find a way to deal with it.

 

Well maybe someday I'll place a personals add:

 

SW Beta male looking for faithful fertile female companion lol.

[buffalosoldier]

LOL