What's wrong with me?

[elixir2222]

I can't seem to get a girlfriend or even make female friends! I can make acquaintances with women, but nothing serious where I talk to them often or through facebook etc. I'm actually beginning to think there's something wrong with me. I try to bury my feelings by brushing it off and forgetting about it, but whenever I think of my situation I can be in actual tears within seconds.

 

I'm 20yrs old and attend college so there shouldn't be a problem meeting women, but I just can't get passed simply knowing someone to having a relationship. I posted this in the shy section because I guess I am shy(although I am getting way better).

 

I can talk to women just fine for someone who's never really had much experience with them. Most of the eye opening experiences came just this past year when I actually talked to girls and managed to ask out 3 of them. 2 of them I never did anything with, but the third I actually had dinner with and it went GREAT(making her laugh etc) until she mentioned her boyfriend near the end. I'm actually not too upset because after talking to her all night I wasn't sure I liked her too much even though she was really beautiful.

 

Another situation that kinda gets me depressed is the fact that I went out of my comfort zone to a few frat parties and I still wasn't able to pull girls into the "I think you're cool, lets be friends stage". I talked to what seemed like 70% of all the girls who I was attracted to and I still didn't get anywhere. 15+ girls per party and I don't get to talk to either of them ever again... ugh

 

When I look at myself in the mirror I love who I see most of the time, but then again that's just my opinion and I have no idea what others think of me. Some have told me that I look mad all the time when I'm feeling neutral. Maybe that's why girls shy away from me? I personally think I look pretty good, but I also think I look horrible in pictures. I work out often and have a pretty nice body.

 

I've never dated or really hung out with girls(outside of work and school), etc ever in my life. It really feels like I'm missing out on an important aspect of humanity... companionship

[Veroni]

College has to be the most difficult time to try to get a girlfriend. So many hook ups so little time.....with school on top of that and study, it would be hard. You should not take it personally. Im sure you are a nice and handsome person, maybe you are sending off a nervous vibe that makes these girls back off. Also, maybe you try to hard and it shows....you have to be comfortable in your skin if you want anyone to be comfortable with you. Try asking out more girls, make friends with more guys. Just really try to get yourself out there. Put yourself into a state of openess and work on the flow of your conversations and girls will start to notice.

[CrazyKing]

The main difference between the guys who have a plenty of female friends and those who have not is very simple:

 

Guys who can't get female friends are the ones who think that men and women meet only for sexual/relationship/family purposes... I used to do the same things - as a girl mentioned her boyfriend I stopped talking to her, but it took me a long time to see that the sentence: "Let's just be friends" ain't that bad at all...

[tylercdurden2004]

Your post intrigued me. Mainly because you talk about female friends and GFs in the same instance. I am not sure if I see the connection between the 2 simply because in my world friends (male and female) are different than GFs. The main difference is sex. I have sex with my GFs but I dont have sex my friends (male or female).

 

I dont see why you need to have female friends (ie why specifically female)? What benefit you you get by selecting female friends? Do you and are you able to make friends with males?

[Dating Coach]

Elixer, read the link in my sig

[random_stranger]

I recommended this in another post, but check this book out: "The Game" a book by Neil Strauss. It's a book about pickup artists and how a guy turned from shy, weird guy to a guy who was picking up girls nonstop on a daily basis. No, I'm not telling you to become a pickup artist (unless you want to, but then it seems kinda unfulfilling...) but I think he has some interesting insights into male-female interactions and I'm pretty sure you can learn a thing or two about how you should interact with girls. If nothing else, it was an interesting read. Check it out at link removed and see the reviews for yourself.