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How do you start a conversation with a shy person?


Lady Luck

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Hey - I was just wondering if any one has tips on how to start a decent conversation with a really, really shy person. The person in mind is male, seems very deep, kind, has a good sense of humor, but is shy around me and can't seem to keep eye contact. We only see each other in a school setting, and barely talk about anything more than what's going on in the class, or about video games. Any incite is very much appreciated, thanks

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Ask questions. Start off with questions that need 'yes' or 'no' answers, then after he answers, give your own answer. It gives you both a chance to contribute to the conversation. If you like talking about video games, try to ask him questions like, what's his favorite level of the game, or what was your highest score, kinda like giving him a chance to show off. A lot of times when a person (guy or girl) is shy, that person has lots of things to say, just doesn't know how to say it. Sometimes asking the right questions can bring it out!

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If you want to branch away from video game and class topics... try to ask about current popular topics or topics that you know that he'd be interested in (since you said that he seems very deep, I'm assuming that you know that he has other interests besides video games). I actually recommend that you start off with questions that require more than just "yes" or "no" answers because that way you can get more out of the shy person and also, you can build another question just based on what his response is. That way you can get a conversation rolling.

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Those other ideas could work, but heres what I'd do. If you want to have a conversation with him then ask him out for lunch (hoping your class is right before lunch) and if he says sure then he'll be forced to talk to you. I like the forcing a conversation idea.

 

If i noticed a girl trying to use the "gentle and slowly" method mentioned by adder I'd respond with some gentle and slow smart ass remarks seeing as he has a sense of humor he may respond as such giving the conversation a humorous base. From experience the girls that would straight up started talking to me got my attention and it was all up to them until i felt like holding my part of the conversation.

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thanks guys

 

i've been talking to him more, i tried asking for his myspace/aim/email lol.. he doesn't have any of those! and the worst part is that we only have 10 or so days of class left, until the first semester is over. then i have no classes with him whatsoever. aghh i'm so bad at this!!

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  • 3 months later...

I start out by asking questions about the weekend, holiday breaks, vacations, etc. what is he doing when he is not at work or school?

 

Stay away from the yes and no questions. Bcuz a very shy guy will only give you just that...yes or no answers.

 

Ask open ended questions. One per day is good to start with =)

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