Possibly friendship...

[rothman]

It's been about two years before I really screwed things over with a girl who lives in my neighborhood, girl#1. I didn't intend to mess things over. My situation is what follows: I was getting over another girl, and she came at me too aggressively. I didn’t want to experience a full hearted relationship (sex was involved), and at the last moment I realized what I had lost when I didn't have her want me anymore. I acted out (was an emotional wreck and got totally angry and yelled), and basically was placed on no contact for a good year. She maintained this NC with full force, which really taught me how well this can affect me. I had only talked to her once in person since the incident, apologized for myself, and shook hands with her. She told me to stop worrying and that she was over it all. Nothing else but a goodbye. I have not talked to her sense.

 

Anyway, a year later, around two days ago, my ex-girlfriend, girl#2, dumped me. I am still getting used to it and still a little glum, but am utilizing my strength and my confidence to get through. I intentionally drove through the neighborhood of girl#1 and past her house. I felt elated when I saw her car and activity in her house.

 

I don't want a relationship with this girl or anything sexual, but I want to attempt a friendship. I felt so much better when I saw her presense. In my situation above, would it be worth trying with this girl, girl#1, and approach her with a lunch offer, basically friendship, making it clear that I just wanted to make friends again? It’s been a year since she has ever seen me, and I know where I could approach her in person.

[StephenP]

If you want a friendship, pursue it later. Wait until it has been two months since your last breakup. I am skeptical that all you want is a friend. You just got out of a relationship, and you are trying to jump into something to distract you from the issue at hand: breakup pain.

 

After two days, you aren't "used" to anything. You aren't clear-headed enough. And not many self-respecting girls would want to get into any sort of relationship with a guy they had to avoid for so long -- whether that relationship is friendship or otherwise. I suspect you are playing the friend card in hopes that it escalates to something more.

 

Do yourself a favor and do some self-reflecting instead of rebounding.

[rothman]

True, I do need to do some self reflecting, but honestly any self reflecting would be based on comparing me to a guy that she ran off with, which is not good. Meeting up with this girl would mask my breakup too, which I did not realize. I agree that waiting two months will help me realize my intentions.