simple_guy25 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 So I met this girl on NYE. we had a good time together, and spent most of the night together, since we had a mutual friend at the same party. She seems like a really sweet girl, and I'd like to get to know her better. We talked for about an hour on MSN tonight. She is definitely a shy girl, but I can see the potential there for a relationship, IF she opens up a bit more to me. She is a big hockey fan, as am I. Since we both like the same team, i invited her over to watch the game on friday night. She said she couldnt cause she has to work. I believe her, because she does work three jobs while attending college. but near the end of our conversation I told her I had to go, but I would like to call her sometime, just to hang out, or talk a little more. I told her that I found MSN to be a little to impersonal for me. her only response was "I like MSN". so I told her we would keep it that way for now, and that was the end of our conversation. Was she trying to say she isnt interested? doesnt want to talk to me? or is she just being shy, or wanting to know me better first? I dont mind talking to her online until she is more comfortable. but I also dont want to get the wrong idea if she isnt interested in me at all. Link to comment
red_fox Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I usually like MSN more when I don't really know the guy that I am talking to. If she is shy like me, it is easier that way to get to know the other person. I would try to at least talk to her on there and find out if she is interested or not. Either way, what could it hurt? Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 It's pretty hard to say just based on what you've given here. She could be shy or she could be not that interested. If you ask her to do something again and she has an excuse, then I would say she's not that interested. Link to comment
simple_guy25 Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 It's pretty hard to say just based on what you've given here. She could be shy or she could be not that interested. If you ask her to do something again and she has an excuse, then I would say she's not that interested. See I dont wanna turn around and ask her to do something again too soon. I dont wanna smother her or anything. I also dont really know her work schedule, with 3 jobs and school. its quite possible for her to be busy most of the time. I am hoping to talk to her online more over the next few days. I'm trying to find out more of what she likes to do to relax. but she keeps telling me, she doesnt have a lot of spare time, and doesnt really have any hobbies or anything. So i'm not really sure what to ask her to do Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 See I dont wanna turn around and ask her to do something again too soon. I dont wanna smother her or anything. I also dont really know her work schedule, with 3 jobs and school. its quite possible for her to be busy most of the time. I am hoping to talk to her online more over the next few days. I'm trying to find out more of what she likes to do to relax. but she keeps telling me, she doesnt have a lot of spare time, and doesnt really have any hobbies or anything. So i'm not really sure what to ask her to do Ask her to go to lunch. No matter how busy a person might be, they still eat. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 It's very possible that she's just shy, and there are lots of people who just aren't "phone people". What I'd suggest is to try and keep things in "real life" - chats over IM are fine, but make it clear that you're looking for someone to hang out with face-to-face, and not a pen pal. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 If she's really shy and young/inexperienced, then I can definitely imagine her preferring MSN. Sometimes, I also say I like MSN better because it's easier for me to multitask (when she has 3 jobs that may be a consideration) and also because sometimes i'm just not up for talking...if i'm feeling down/stressed, on MSN I can act all happy and put smiles and stuff, but if I'm on the phone people can detect in my voice how stressed I am and tired/uncheerful... not sure if that's a consideration for others. I guess what I'm trying to say by that is that I prefer my "online persona" more than my actual one sometimes... you can fake being happy and outgoiing online if you're not, really. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Be careful about basing a relationship solely online. At some point talking on the phone and meeting in person has to happen. I would be concerned about someone who, when asked about talking on the phone, immediately says they prefer IM. IM is fine, but I think there needs to be direct dialogue over the phone and in person. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I completely agree... but they have already met, so it's not as bad if they chat online, I think. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Don't base the relationship solely online but i can tell you personally i hate the telephone and i'm not shy nor would i say i prefer IM just because i didn't like the guy. Some people are more tactical than others - they prefer the written vs phone.....it's her personality i think. I think she is interested. For me, if i have to choose between in person or online, its always in person. But if i have to choose between phone and online..its online. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Assume she is interested in you and waiting for you to ask her out. Call her up, ask her out on a date to a place you specifically chose (because it's fun and you want to show her) and have a specific time in mind. Then take her and have a blast. At the end of the night, kiss-close. It's that simple. If you avoid these steps, try to make her comfortable, worry about what she's thinking, etc... you're almost certainly going to misstep and blow it. It almost always happens to guys who second guess and shuffle their feets. If you just take charge and go forward you'll be more likely to get somewhere. Link to comment
simple_guy25 Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Assume she is interested in you and waiting for you to ask her out. Call her up, ask her out on a date to a place you specifically chose (because it's fun and you want to show her) and have a specific time in mind. Then take her and have a blast. At the end of the night, kiss-close. It's that simple. If you avoid these steps, try to make her comfortable, worry about what she's thinking, etc... you're almost certainly going to misstep and blow it. It almost always happens to guys who second guess and shuffle their feets. If you just take charge and go forward you'll be more likely to get somewhere. That's kinda what I was planning to do Coach. but I've got to get her number first. when I asked about calling her, she said she preferred MSN. I dont really want to ask her out online, for obvious reasons. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Don't ask to call, tell her you're calling. Link to comment
simple_guy25 Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Don't ask to call, tell her you're calling. Coach, you miss the point. I DONT even have her number. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Coach, you miss the point. I DONT even have her number. Oh I see. You asked for her number she she referred you to MSN? That's not a good sign. What girl who is really interested in a guy would avoid giving her number out? It doesn't look good bro. Link to comment
simple_guy25 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 Yea, so the story goes... I was out with a friend NYE and she happens to be friends with the woman in question as well. So we all end up dancing together, and by the end of the night I am dancing with just her. She seemed interested,we talked for about half an hour after the party ended, maybe it was just the alcohol. anyway. a couple days later, we started talking online. at the end of that conversation I asked her if I could call her sometime, and her exact response was "I like MSN" My first reaction was like yours, she probably isnt interested, but after talking to my friend who introduced us, I now know that she is a quiet girl, and doesnt like to be put on the spot. so maybe MSN is just her way of having time to react to a conversation, like a comfort thing. This is the whole reason I dont like MSN, its too impersonal. you cant really hear the emotion in the person voice, and that really changes the meaning. I hope that clears it up for you Coach, i'm interested to hear your take again Link to comment
Superfreak Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 There's some girls who have parents whom for cultural reasons don't allow them to date so they have to sneak around with boyfriends and obviously wouldn't give out there number instead preferring msn rather then having there parents overhear them on the phone. I don't really think this is the case in this incident but just throwing it out there as a possibility in some instances. I prefer msn to the phone as well just because I rarely get privacy at home and msn sort of frees me up to talk more. I think it's a bit odd that she won't give out her number though but I wouldn't let it discourage you, just ask her out over msn. Say that you'd like to go out with her, say a date and time, if she says she's busy either offer an alternative date and time or say that you think she's a really great/cool person and you want to see her again and ask her when she is available. That should give you your answer. Link to comment
simple_guy25 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 Thanks for the input everyone. I'm thinking of giving her a couple days space and then asking her over MSN to go out for coffee or something. Although I just heard from a friend that she just found out her dad has cancer, and she isnt in a very good place emotionally right now. So now I'm thinking this might not be the best time to ask her out. I think i'll throw a new topic up in one of the other forums about this. I like to get other peoples opinions on these things, because i tend to over-analyze, anyway, thanks again everyone Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Yea, so the story goes... I was out with a friend NYE and she happens to be friends with the woman in question as well. So we all end up dancing together, and by the end of the night I am dancing with just her. She seemed interested,we talked for about half an hour after the party ended, maybe it was just the alcohol. anyway. a couple days later, we started talking online. at the end of that conversation I asked her if I could call her sometime, and her exact response was "I like MSN" How about asking her why she prefers MSN? How about telling her that you feel it's too impersonal? Express your wants and needs instead of just accepting hers. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Thanks for the input everyone. I'm thinking of giving her a couple days space and then asking her over MSN to go out for coffee or something. Good plan. Keep us updated! Link to comment
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