Serious Crush

[11everything2-1nothing]

Well I have known this guy for a few months now. We met in school. I have had this crush on him for quite awhile, but I am shy, and have never been able to bring myself to tell him. I never had to make the first move, and never realized how shy I was until now. I am quite a bit older than him which makes me even more hesitant to say anything. That and the fear of rejection.I guess I want to make sure he likes me too. Sometimes, I have felt that he did. He touches me alot, and calls a lot. He even got me a Christmas present, and well that was embarrassing because I was not expecting one, and I had to get him a late one. We hang out all the time, and we even spent a whole weekend together once to study. On one study break we watched a movie and he had me sit in his lap and he hugged me and held my hand the whole time. We also had one informal date (i guess you would call it that because he paid but nothing happened). There has even been two instances when I thought he was jealous that I was going out with my other guy friends. To me these are signs that he likes me.

 

Other times I feel like he just sees me as a friend. For instance: last night we were talking about how picky he was. I nonchalantly asked what he looked for in a study buddy vs. a girlfriend. He said a study buddy can be anyone with a cute face and who is smart. For a girlfriend he gave me this whole list of things including a height minimum and maximum. He always makes fun of how short I am (i'm only 4'11). I figured that ruled me out. He also talks about people I might marry one day. Not to mention the plain fact that he has never made a real move on me.

 

Nonetheless, I have been wanting to tell him how I feel for the longest time. I am just to shy to do so. Holding it in feels like torture. All of the attempts I have made to tell him have ended in utter failure. I think I blotched it up the worst on my last attempt. I was telling him about this guy who is constantly asking me out but I always tell him I can't because I like someone else. With hopes of him asking me who I liked. Instead his response was: "good, you learned, at least your not starting something that goes nowhere".

 

My response was: "yeah except the guy I like doesn't know it" in an attempt to redeem the whole conversation.

 

That was probably an awful approach, but also a sign to me that maybe I shouldn't say anything? I value him friendship and don't want to ruin it. I don't know what to do. Should I just move on?

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hmmmm. Hmmmmm. That's me thinking, btw.

 

Okay, you can either go for communication, tell him you like him and ask him out for a date and all that.

 

Or you can do the ol' Honey P method - go out, have a glass or two of wine (well below your tolerance, but make sure you have some booze), and then kiss him. If he kisses you back, result. If he doesn't, the next day claim you have no idea of what happened, and you hope you didn't embarrass yourself.

 

Childish, yes. But hey, it always used to work for me in these situations.

 

Make 2008 a year of no regrets - find out where you stand, if he likes you and you canmake a go of it, great. If he doesn't, then at least you know and you can get over him. Don't spend any longer pining in unrequited love, it's taking up your time and energy.

[someguy88]

Just plant a kiss on him. You're an attractive girl. This guy is probably oblivious to the fact that you're into him.

[11everything2-1nothing]

 

Or you can do the ol' Honey P method - go out, have a glass or two of wine (well below your tolerance, but make sure you have some booze), and then kiss him. If he kisses you back, result. If he doesn't, the next day claim you have no idea of what happened, and you hope you didn't embarrass yourself.

.

 

Yeah except he doesn't drink. I want to tell him. I just can't seem to get the words out, or it never feels like a good time I actually get really nervous when I just think about telling him even. Like I said I never had to before. I know I'm 25 and this is silly, but I feel like I have no experience when it comes to this.

[Mateui]

To be fair, i'm the same age as you and i'm in a similar situation. Seeing as I haven't had a crush in years and said girl is in a LTR but is very responsive to my actions (We spend quite a lot of time together, and she gets jealous of me spending time with other girls), I...for some reason...can't even begin to explain how I feel to her. Don't know why, probably never will.

 

Anyway, I digress, you seem to be in a good situation. I'm picking up on some positive signals from him, so perhaps you should evaluate what is making you back off, be barave, do it and hope for the best? (Heh, perhaps you and me both eh?).

 

I wish you the best of luck

[confused_guy84]

I was to shy to do anything. I couldn't talk to her I was going crazy over her and just when I was ready to do something about it....she got a boyfriend. It felt like someone just stabbed me.

 

I've been through this before too. Don't do that to yourself 1+1. Just tell him. Rejection hurts much less than never knowing. (But I doubt he'll reject you, you're a cutie)