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Best Friends Too Close?

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About two weeks ago I visited my sweetie for the first time in three months. I stayed at his place for five days and would have stayed longer if I didn't have to get back home to spend Christmas with my family. All in all, I must say I was having a wonderful time. It was wonderful waking up to his beautiful face and being able to go to bed together every night. Anyway, I digress... We were laying down one night talking about old times and he shows me this old letter from one of his friends (let's call her "B"). In the letter his friend tells him she can't believe he slept with his best friend (Let's call her "X").


My sweetie's best friend is a girl who I've met and knows about our relationship. When we got together, he told me that X and his ex girlfriend did not get along and I asked him why but he would just say he didn't know why. I even went as far as to ask if they slept together or went out in the past and he told me no. Now to find out that they did have sex in the past and that he lied to me leaves me feeling a bit confused and upset (especially since I live over 500 miles away from him and we don't see each other very often). He told me that it happened over a decade ago and that they realized that they should just remain friends. FYI: They live in the same town and see each other more often than I see him. My question is, why would he not tell me about this if it was so long ago and he's so sure that it won't happen again?

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I dated & slept with my now best friend about 10 years ago now. His girlfriends opinions of me are important and matter, as I want them to like me and not see me as a threat (since I'm not!).


that being said, since it WAS so long ago, your boyfriend probably just thought it was easier to say nothing happened between them so you had no issues with her. Guys like to tell little lies like that to spare your feelings, they just don't want you to feel hurt or intimidated by their friend who is female.


I wouldn't worry at all..... your first paragraph shows you are obviously smitten with him, so he probably feels the same and doesn't want to do anything to screw it up


If you do still have any lingering issues with her or him/her, talk to her! I know I personally expect that eventually my friends girlfriends will want to be reassured by me right directly to them, and it makes them feel LOADS better! I usually don't even mention it to him, and assume if she is into him enough to speak to me, she must really like him.

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I wouldnt worry an excessive amount about this situation. They slept together a *long* time ago and maybe he thought it would make you uncomfortable to know that he had slept with her in the past. I dont think this has anything to do with *you* per se...and I highly doubt anything is or will go on with them now.


My husband is still casual friends with a girl he dated on and off in high school and then for a little while about a year before he and I met. They live in different areas of the country and are friends on Facebook but I've never felt insecure or worried about it. Why would I? What they had in the past is in the past and I also know why they broke up (my husband didnt love her) and so I'm certainly not going to sit around being all worried about it and either should you.

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Showing you the letter may have been his way of telling you the truth about the situation. I would personally be a bit worried though. You directly asked him a question - did you sleep with X - and he told you no. It doesn't necessarily mean that there is anything going on between them, but in my book, it isn't okay to lie to your partner. Why didn't he tell you about it in the first place, when you asked him?

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