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Sensitive question for the older women, have you noticed the flirting die down.......


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As you gotten older? Once you were vibrant and had youth on your side, now old age has crept in and the compliments and flirtations have but all disappeared?


I'm just asking for curiosity sake. Although I'm a male I'm getting up there in years and wondering how is it for a female who is still single and no longer in her twenties but in her thirties and up. Has it taken a bite out of your self-esteem? I must admit, I have so much envy for the younger people.

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Yeah, I don't think I've really slowed down, either.


Compliments and flirtations seem much more correlated to how I am handling life and feeling about myself in general. When I am feeling like everything sucks, and the weight of the world is on my face and I appear preoccupied with worries, or a downcast mood, and am appropriately "dressing down" -- not too many people seem to notice or compliment me. And, if I'm depressed, I am not even putting out that vibe of being available for a flirt.


On the other hand, when I am looking curious, confident, and feeling a little mischievous or excited about things, I think a natural little glimmer comes back into my eyes and that's something other people can really pick up on. When my attitude is playful, other people become playful as well -- and flirtation comes along with that! Both ways. And compliments are much more likely.


A lot has to do with an internal state, and your carriage and that twinkle in your eye. When I return to that "childlike wonder" place inside me, instead of the "downtrodden, lonely single older woman" place, people join me. I really think youth is about remaining true to the inner child and its exhuberance about things, little things. It's infectious and really takes years off your chronological age. I've had the most unexpected of compliments or flattering "hits" when in this state of mind.

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Thanks, Ash!


Oh, and yeah! -- I agree, when I was in my 20's, I still think I was inhibited in ways that I am not, now. I feel I wield a more empowered attitude about things instead of being hung up about certain things, and that translates into feeling sexier in a lot of ways. In fact, I actually sometimes feel that being more experienced or being perceived that way gives me an edge ("So I don't have as perfect a body, but I have more tools!")

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I never much liked attention from men I didn't know - the catcalls, etc. That seems to have died down some but I don't think it's an age thing - I don't notice it as much in general where I live/spend time to anyone. I am far more vibrant than in my 20s because I have come into my own more and am far more confident in every way including about my looks. I really take offense at your suggestion that someone over 39 is "old" in the least - if you were a teenager I would understand but I don't think so.


I was far more successful at dating at 35 than in my early 20s, that's for sure.

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No, I think the flirting is better than when I was younger. I also agree with Batya, I think I look better now than I did when I was younger. Maybe it's good skin care, sunblock for 30 years and fabulous products these days, but I think women get glossier and more attractive as they get older if they want to. And the confidence is nice - I can make eye contact and smile and charm much more easily once I hit thirty than I ever did when I was twenty.


I think it's in the mind - and about how you feel about yourself. I've never liked builders shouting about my breasts, so that doesn't happen so much - I think that was something I got more when I was younger, but hardly flattering, just made me feel tense and vulnerable.


Yeah, I think it's easier as you get older. My friend is nearly 70, and she has the wickedest, minxiest smile ever, and is the best flirt alive - not to gain attention, but just because she's quite naughty and fun. She's my role model, to be honest, just so glamorous and delightful. In fact, all the older women I know have that in them if they want (not all do) - experience and laughter and a certain sophistication is pretty damn' hot, if you ask me. It changes from when you're 18 and just have to stand there looking awkward, but definitely more fun.

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My experience is a very similar to a lot of the other responders.'


In my 20's, I was very self-conscious, and I had a pretty serious self-image problem. As a result, I didn't get a lot of attention from men -- at least not positive attention.


Now, in my late 30's, I'm a lot happier, a lot more confident, and I know I look better than I did when I was younger, and I'm in better shape. I like myself a lot more, and I think it shows. I get approached and flirted with a lot more now, and I feel a lot more comfortable talking to men.


I like being in my late 30's. I'm hoping it only gets better from here.

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The skin may have been firmer and more toned in my 20's but I sure as heck wasn't nearly as comfortable in it then as I am now.


That makes all the difference in the way one carries oneself and interacts with others...and flirting/attention getting has much more to do with those things than just looks.

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I may not be 30 yet however, I do realize that I am so much more confident and comfortable with myself than I was when I was in my early 20s.


I also carry myself better and know what works for me appearance wise and is not afraid to flaunt it if the mood strikes me.


I definitely get a lot more compliments, flirtations, dates and general attention from men now than I did before.

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Having reached my thirties, i must admit, i am happier, confident in myself and in my body and that reflects how i relate to men, because i don't feel obliged or pressure to conform to an ideal anymore. I take care of myself and for some reason i look better now than i did back in my twenties, maybe i just grew into myself thats all!!!! So no i don't get less attention from men now, in fact i get alot more, which is all good to me, it keeps a smile on my face and who doesn't love a woman who smiles ; )

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I was gorgeous when I was twenty but extremely insecure and 'distant'. In other words, I couldn't enjoy it. Always felt I had a lot to prove.


I think that falls away as you get older. I have certainly lost that 'bloom' but I am more secure about myself in other ways. Had a crap couple of years but I am stronger than I was, and a more interesting person, than in my 20s.


I still get looks and interest, I think anything with a vagina would get interest from men, though.


I can't say I'm secure where men are concerned, after my split from my ex, but I can say that I don't care as much.

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