Am I too accommodating to my bf??

[Tezza]

I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 8 months, and he is a real fitness nut, he is always encouraging me to go for a jog with him (which I am ok with most of the time).

 

He is really busy, and I always make sure that I am free when he is free so that we get to spend time together.

 

Am I being too accommodating to him? I don't know if sometimes I am a bit of a pushover when it comes to men, I think I would do anything for him, but I don't know if he would do the same for me (I think he would).

 

Is being a pushover a sign that I have some insecurities within myself? I just don't know, I think that I am the same with my friends also. I just like to do things for the people that I care for that is all. This can not be bad, can it?

[Momene]

I would say if you were married, you wouldn't be too accomodating but for a boyfriend, I'd say you were. Its a good idea to develop some sort of outside interest and/or friendships, so you have an independent activity, say, once a week.

[greensleeves]

There's nothing wrong with doing things for the people you care about. However, the fact that you are questioning that you may be to accomodating tells me that you are doubting yourself. It might be a good thing if you weren't always available when he's free...you lose a piece of yourself that way. I hope you're not breaking other plans to be with him and that he isn't calling you up at the last minute to do things with him. Just live your life, make plans to do other things and be with him when you're able to. Otherwise, he may start to take you for granted. Just my opinion!

[AngelEyez]

What happens when you are unable to make time? I used to be the same way. I'd do anything for my ex's and friends because I liked seeing them happy. But then again, I wasn't totally happy because no one would do favours for me... so it was like I was giving and giving and getting nothing in return. Most of them were not grateful either. I still do nice things for people, but only the ones who deserve it. Being too nice sometimes can lead to ignoring your own wants and needs...

[RayKay]

If you are passing up on opportunities in your own life in order to always be available, I would say yes you are being too "accommodating" but also too "clingy" and going to become a bit dependent over time.

 

It is well-advised to have your own interests, hobbies, friends....it makes you more interesting and complete as a person and well, we are not meant to give up our lives for another. We don't stop being individuals just because we are part of a couple and it is important to encourage one anothers personal growth.

 

In my relationship for example, we are both fitness/outdoors junkies too, but we don't ALWAYS work out together as while we share some similar athletic interests, we also have some different ones, we also have other interests outside of athletics we both do apart at times, other times together. We have our own friends, lives....and balance our "individual time" with our "couple time" and work with one another to make the couple time without having one of us sitting around waiting for the other - that just is NOT healthy (or attractive).

[PixelPusher]

It's hard to tell by the little that you wrote, but offhand I'd say no, you aren't being too accommodating to him. But if you're concerned about it, then just be aware of how far you will go for him. It is good to be giving, but it's easy to slip too far and be a pushover. He needs to meet you halfway, too. Remember that!

 

Since my divorce, I've learned to find happiness in my own hobbies and be by myself. I had this established by the time I met my current (and amazing) girlfriend. Right from the start, we respected and encouraged each other to continue our individual passions. She loves karate and I love to cycle. I try to ride on evenings when she is at karate... and she allows me a weekend day to bike with my friends. But I also take breaks from the weekend rides to just spend quality time with her. I've gotten her into cycling and she wants me to join karate so it's all good!

 

It's just about balance. If your gut is telling you you're giving more than you should, then pay attention to that and perhaps ask your boyfriend to accompany YOU every once in a while.