but i 3 him Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 So heres the story my ex and i broke up before thanksgiving and it was bad after we broke up i caught him with his ex so i cut our ties there until recently we started reconnecting again and he ended up saying he loved me and i broke down and admitted i never stopped loving him and well he was my first and we made love when we met up at his house for lunch. At first i didnt want him to think i agreed to go to do it and i told him that doing that was special for me and he just reassured me he loved me and it happened. Now were talking daily several times a day and he tells me he loves me as do i but we're not "officially" boyfriend girlfriend...at least not yet. He also tends to get insecure about this guy i started talking to as rebound for our break up even though i tell him that hes the only one i truly want and it seems like the reason were not together yet is based on his insecurities. This is strange for me because i love him and lost it to him and obviously want him back but i don't know that sleeping without being officially together is right....what do you all think about my predicament? Link to comment
but i 3 him Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 yea but we talk everyday and it seems like we're still in a relationship hes protective and yes i am aware he could've just * * * * ed me but the way he held me and looked into my eyes and kissed me i figure if he just wanted to bang me he would've just done it. His body language makes me believe he loves me. Well i don't want to seem like i'm defending him but we were broken up he didn't cheat on me but i don't know i feel like we have so much unfinished business and i love him and if he didnt love me he wouldnt bother calling me and the other day he got angry with his mom and let the house without a phone at 1:00 and attempted to call me but was out of change for a pay phone. the simple fact that he thought of me means something...doesnt it :S Link to comment
random_stranger Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 lets make this simple. if he really loves you as much as you think he loves you then why isn't he with you? (officially?) Honestly, I think he's just trying to have his cake and eat it too. By breaking up with you, he can now go and sleep with whomever he wants including his ex AND you without having to feel guilty about it, because technically he's not cheating on anybody because he's not committed to anybody. Wow... sounds like such great bf material. I'm not trying to make fun of your pain because I've been there. I was with my first bf for about 5 years and then he decides to throw everything away because he's insecure about me and my guy friends. (Even though I'm constantly showering him with affection and spend like 70% of my time with him and have never cheated on him emotionally or physically.) After we broke up, he tried to string me along to... telling me how much he loved me... how much he missed me... how he can't stand not hearing my voice... and yes, I ended up sleeping with him too (once)... and yes, I really believed he still loved me. BUT I also believed that I deserved more than a part-time lover. Let me put it this way, if you continue this with him, you're going to be nothing more than his f**k buddy. Do you really want to go from a legit girlfriend to the girl he sleeps with when he gets horny and can't get laid anywhere else? I'm not doubting that he cares for you somewhat, but I just don't think he loves you as much as you love him. And don't you think you deserve somebody who loves you just as much, if not more? I know you're in a world of hurt right now... and it's even more painful because he's your first everything, but you have to believe me when I tell you that THINGS WILL GET BETTER! and that YOU DESERVE BETTER! And the longer you let him string you along, the longer the pain will last. Save your own dignity and don't let him mess you up. Final warning: Do not be intimate with him unless you guys are officially back together. Obviously, he knows exactly what to say or do to make you get into the sack with him, so do not let him manipulate you! If he really "loves" you like he says, then he wouldn't be hurting you and he would do everything in his power to protect you and be with you. If he's not doing that, then you need to find somebody else who does. Link to comment
shell80 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Sweetheart - I know what it is like I really do, but this guy sounds like bad news. When you said but the way he held me and looked into my eyes and kissed me i figure if he just wanted to bang me he would've just done it. it reminded me of when I slept with my ex for months after he broke up with me. Truth is - he acted in very poor form and has shown you little respect. You are so young at 17 - this guy may be your first but he certainly won't be your last. You have many more romances to look forward to... Link to comment
but i 3 him Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 how do u get over someone if it seems like they want to be with you...its like i would try to move on if me wanted me to but he keeps holding me back and sometimes he doesn't even have to tell me how he feels i just see it in his eyes, i know its strange but its like i feel it.... Link to comment
but i 3 him Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 thanks but his ex was the one who couldn't let go then again she did seduce him after we broke up and hes the one who broke up with me but...if he keeps holding in a reconciliation is in the future is it not? Link to comment
but i 3 him Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 its about to be a month since we regained contact and yes its extremely hard to face the fact that i might have to move on its just harder to consider it when he's still there i've come to know him really well maybe thats why i tend to see more to what he says like i know that the fact that he brings up other people is his insecurities and jealousy and he mentions it and it bothers him because he still cares....i'm a dumb girl Link to comment
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