circi Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 New Years Eve came and went without me hearing anything from the ex. I met up with a guy I used to have a huge crush on and we hooked up. It was horrible and I really regretted it immediately. Just kissing him made me feel slightly nauseous. Woke up this morning feeling very lonely and missing the ex as much as I did when he left almost a month ago. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I sent him a text. I said "I can't get you out of my head yet". He said "I know what you mean". I said "I know you're doing fine." He came back with "Who the hell said that??" I ignored him and sent "Tell me to give up, tell me there is no chance. I need to hear it.". He replied that he can not. I said "I love you" and he replied "Still." I said Yes, Still. He then came back with "I am learning same". I am wanting to read more into this than was intended. He did not say he loves me, but what does "I am learning same" mean?? He's learning that he does love me? He's learning that I Love him? That one doesn't make sense, there is no way he's not aware how much I love him. Help me out here - knock some sense into me or something. Link to comment
Clabs Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Hey circi I know how hard this is darling - I really do. Everything sems so empty - so negative - pointless really. Don't go on any more dates for a while - you need to get over him before you will be ready for anyone else. And you need to stop contacting him because it doesn't do you any good - it sets you back and hurts you. You feel lonely and you want back what you had - but it doesn't work that way - things are different now. You need to take back some control here - as hard as it seems. Come back here and message people - call anyone but him - call me - anyone but him. You can and will get through this - but help us to help you. Value yourself - and never sell yourself short. Give this time and you will see things more clearly - you will see the cracks in your relationship - what led to it's demise - i know - that is sad - but also true. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve. If you don't love and respect you, nobody else will - they will just use you. Get real girlie - you can do this. we are all here to hold your hand and walk out into the sunshine - away from these * * * * ty dark skies. Mark Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I am with Clabs on this...do not contact him...let him go...let him miss you...let him sort himself out. You won't get him back by chasing after him like this...and it will just make you feel worse about yourself. It is the new year, try to find new interests, hobbies, things to get involved in. It is way too soon to date, but I am sure you can find things to amuse yourself...projects you can embark on to give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Link to comment
circi Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 I appreciate what both of you are saying and I know you are right. I would still like to hear what you guys think he meant by "i am learning same" Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I appreciate what both of you are saying and I know you are right. I would still like to hear what you guys think he meant by "i am learning same" Don't do this to yourself..you can't reach into somebody's mind and know what they are really thinking. His words are too cryptic to attach anything meaningful to them. In the entire exchange he was actually very non-commital...he was focusing on your feelings but was really giving nothing out about his own. Do not read into it and hope for reconciliation. He gave you no indication...you are just trying to grasp at straws. The only thing that counts is if he comes right out and says that he wants to try again. Move yourself forward...he is giving you nothing at this point...if you keep hoping and trying to read meaning into very cryptic words that don't really make any sense in the context of your discussion, then you will never be able to move on with your life. Link to comment
circi Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 He sent me several generic messages yesterday afternoon and then last night sent one asking to see me. I did not answer that last one. Link to comment
Clabs Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hey circi Crazyaboutdogs is on the money here. It sucks because when you are in a healthy relationship - you can ask each other anything - but when the relationship is on the way out - all that chat turns to eggshells and second guessing. Trying to make sense of it all is like banging your head on a wall because you often don't know what their confusing messages are trying to convey, and even if they do seem to make sense, you don't know if they are telling the truth or not. Ignore anything that does not directly say he wants to try again. It isn't easy - far from it. But you need to do this to regain your sanity. Good for you for not responding to him - this is you taking some control back. Take care honey. Mark Link to comment
shay.shay82 Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 He sent me several generic messages yesterday afternoon and then last night sent one asking to see me. I did not answer that last one. I'm not trying to give false hope, but if he's sending messages wanting to see you and unless you're fairly sure that he only wants sex, "I'm learning same" reads to me like he's learning that is still in love with you. That doesn't mean he'll come back, but may mean he anticipated being able to get over you fairly easily (hence the dumping) but is learning that it's not as easy as he'd thought it would be. Be careful, though, and I agree that you should probably wait a bit before trying again with another guy. Link to comment
circi Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I'm not trying to give false hope, but if he's sending messages wanting to see you and unless you're fairly sure that he only wants sex, "I'm learning same" reads to me like he's learning that is still in love with you. That doesn't mean he'll come back, but may mean he anticipated being able to get over you fairly easily (hence the dumping) but is learning that it's not as easy as he'd thought it would be. Be careful, though, and I agree that you should probably wait a bit before trying again with another guy. I'm 100% sure that he doesn't want to see me for sex. He is the only guy I've ever met in my life that is not like that. One of the issues our relationship had is that his sex drive is not nearly as high as mine. I finally replied to his text. I said I don't know. I'm not ready to see you as just friends yet. Ball is now in his court I guess. Link to comment
Frangipani Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I think you have done well. Most of us would love to have those texts from exes. I too agree that 'I'm learning same.' means he's finding out he still loves you. Just be wary though and stick to your guns. Let him initiate the contact now. It's good that you mentioned that being friends isn't an option right now, it means he now knows that being in your life has to be part of a reconciliation. He has the information upfront and you have respected yourself by saying you can't see him as a friend. I admire your courage. Just try not to expect anything and continue to move on. Like you say, ball is in his court. Link to comment
samross Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I agree with shay. Sounds like that's what he's trying to say. Perhaps he's a bit 'shy' about fully indicating what he feels because maybe he's afraid of hearing something he doesn't want to hear? Frangi is right. There are a lot of us here that would love to hear from our ex's what he's saying to you. I agree with everyone about going on but I wouldn't close the door. Take a chance. Link to comment
circi Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Got some random messages from him this morning, including asking what I did New Years. Glad I made myself go out! He said he sat home because he was not feeling festive. Nothing was said about my response to his request to see me soon or the messages exchanged yesterday morning though. Just talked to my son, apparently he came to the house and picked up his mail finally - but nothing else. Link to comment
circi Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I just have to vent. He actually had the nerve to text me asking me to email him my recipe for Chicken & Dumplings! I said NO! You lost that when you dumped me! You don't have any pots to cook it in anyways (all his kitchen stuff is still here at my place). He said Ouch! and that he bought one for Christmas for the sole purpose of making them. Unbelievable! The man has no bowls, silverware, kitchen utensils. Refuses to move his stuff out of my house - but wants me to send him my secret recipe?? He picked up his mail from my son for the first time today after more than 3 weeks and still hasn't even done a forwarding order. The funny thing is that I made Chicken & Dumplings for me and my son yesterday. I have a big ole pot full of it right now, heh. Link to comment
J_man Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 The funny thing is that I made Chicken & Dumplings for me and my son yesterday. I have a big ole pot full of it right now, heh. lol . Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.