loveistough Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 My brother is going through a divorce. Soon after his wife moved out he met someone online and started dating her. They have known each other for less than 2 months. For Christmas she gave him an expensive camera set. She spent at least $850 on him. She took him to meet her family for the 1st time and her family had gifts for him too. They gave him Ralph Lauren shirts and cash. Does this seem excessive for a new relationship? The shirts from her family are one thing even though they had never met him before but cash?? Link to comment
avman Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Well it's all relative. Perhaps to her $850 is not excessive. It depends on her income and upbringing. Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 My brother's income is about 3 times her and he felt it was an expensive gift. Apparently she knew it was a little bizarre herself as she called me to ask me about it because she bought him the same camera I have. She told me she knew it was expensive. If they had been dating a while I wouldn't think it was so excessive but after 6 weeks it seems excessive to me. All my friends and co-workers seem to feel the same way too but I wanted to get an opinion on here. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Well, let him make up his own mind. Perhaps she cares about him a great deal. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Yeah, how does your bro feel about it? Did you get anything? lol. Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 Well, let him make up his own mind. Perhaps she cares about him a great deal. That wasn't my question. Just for the record, I didn't tell him I thought it was weird. I kept my opinion to myself. Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 Yeah, how does your bro feel about it? Did you get anything? lol. No she didn't bring us anything when she came to meet us 2 days before Christmas. I guess it only works that way with HER family. I wouldn't want anything and would have been very uncomfortable if she had brought me anything. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 It seems to be something that runs in that family. It is excessive to my tastes, and I don't understand it, but who knows. Possibly this is what they do. Strange, though, to me that you received no token gift. No exchange. But seems you are good with that. I guess to each his or her own. I don't understand the big gifts and cash, nor the concept of giving nothing to someone who shows up near holidays, but it doesn't mean those ways are totally weird. Hope that answers the q. Link to comment
capbit Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 It may be the holidays, but it's a little excessive to me. Especially the cash. I would feel very awkward if my gf's parents wrote a check out to me when we first met. It would make feel as if there was a motive behind all the gifts, perhaps to buy me in. Just me though. Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 It seems to be something that runs in that family. It is excessive to my tastes, and I don't understand it, but who knows. Possibly this is what they do. Strange, though, to me that you received no token gift. No exchange. But seems you are good with that. I guess to each his or her own. I don't understand the big gifts and cash, nor the concept of giving nothing to someone who shows up near holidays, but it doesn't mean those ways are totally weird. Hope that answers the q. Yeah it answers my question. That seems to be the thinking of everyone else in the family and others I've talked to as well. Oddly enough my brother does very well but is very tight with his money and she likes very nice expensive things (obviously). That's fine since they aren't married but that could present a huge problem later. I guess that's why I am concerned. I know how he is about things like that and I can see a potentially big problem. That's something he is going to have to figure out on his own though. Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 It may be the holidays, but it's a little excessive to me. Especially the cash. I would feel very awkward if my gf's parents wrote a check out to me when we first met. It would make feel as if there was a motive behind all the gifts, perhaps to buy me in. Just me though. That's the way it seems to me too, almost like they are trying to buy him. Maybe if they had met him a few times before but on the very 1st meeting that strikes me as odd. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 It's an indicator of interest. More commonly a woman can get away with showing a stronger attachment early than a guy can. $850 after 2 months... it's safe to say her interest level is high. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 your brother must be giving it to her good. lol sounds like she really likes him. nothing wrong with that. are you by chance jealous? Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 No I am not jealous. If you'd read my previous post you would see that I alreday have the same camera which she bought him so why would I be jealous?? Also it wasn't so much the camera as someone never having met him handing him cold, hard cash as soon as they meet him. That would make me very uncomfortable and it made him uncomfortable as well. Link to comment
bigheart09 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Her brother and his new girl have only known each other for 6 weeks. That is a pretty short time to be giving expensive presents. Also, I think it is weird that her family gave him cash for Christmas. I would think it was weird even if they had been dating for a while. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 No I am not jealous. If you'd read my previous post you would see that I alreday have the same camera which she bought him so why would I be jealous?? Also it wasn't so much the camera as someone never having met him handing him cold, hard cash as soon as they meet him. That would make me very uncomfortable and it made him uncomfortable as well. well, you having the same camera doesn't make you unjealous. i was just asking cause you keep wondering about the cash. who knows, maybe her family is just built that way. they bring people in no matter what ... fast too. lol. it is a bit weird though. Link to comment
loveistough Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 well, you having the same camera doesn't make you unjealous. i was just asking cause you keep wondering about the cash. who knows, maybe her family is just built that way. they bring people in no matter what ... fast too. lol. it is a bit weird though. It has nothing to do with jealousy. There's nothing for me to be jeaouls of. As your last sentence says, it's a bit weird. That was my point. Link to comment
catwalk Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I'm sorry for posting this so late but...... does his new girlfriend need a girlfriend?! (and cash and cameras) he he he Link to comment
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