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I wish I could be recognized...


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I'm not gonna deny it...I'm yearning for attetion in a way...some sort of recognition that something I had done had meaning...


Unfortunately, the recognition I'm looking for might be a bit shallow...just read and youll see what I mean.


With the upsurge of the internet, many individuals have been made absolutely famous for doing something as simple as doing something they love, or creating an amusing or artistic bit of media. they receive e-mails, and comments probably daily on how awesome/funny they are. they also receive negative feedback as well, but they take the lumps with the good and all.


I've always been a mini-ham. I've always craved presenting myself in front of other people and doing my best to be creative, energetic, and unique and recieving praise for it...but It's just not there.


I've been in plays and musicals, but I just don't have the mug or build to play any lead roles, and even when I get a decent -semi-supporting char role I only get any recognition from my family.


Now don't get me wrong, I like that my family is always proud of me in whatever I do. but thats the problem, Theyre ALWAYS proud. I want to receive positive atention from others, namely my peers or even people I don't know.


I've done talent shows, but never placed. I've done coffee shop nights and open mic but have only received lukewarm applause...no praise.


Thats why the internet has such an allure to it. if only i could draw. If only I could create flash, if only i could create amvs, if only i could play an instrument well.


I try and dabble in each of these a little bit but I am horribly untalented in all of them. >


And one of the most nerve wrenching things to me is whenever I meet a girl online and start to like her... we usually become friends and I want to impress her with...something. I try writing her a story or poem, but fail, I try writing a song, even MORE failure. But of course this girl has a multitude of other guy friends who do these things for her in glorious fashion leaving me feeling horribly inept. I just want to be able to give something worthwhile that they would appreciate.


And I know some people are gonna say "Well it's the thought that counts" and all but I just don't buy it. Thought doesn't count online. Thought only counts with immediate family or your SO. It's just heart breaking to try and give a girl a flash game right after Joe-sexy over there gave her a fully functional 3-d graphics bonanza game that pwns mine out of the water.


I'd work on these skills more but I just don't have time...see, I actually have a sort of life. I'm really busy with college and work and I just don't have time to practice drawing, or writing, or playing music, etc. And I can't just focus on ONE thing because i love them all equally, I'd get bored if i did JUST music for a while, or JUSt writing. i love them all but unfortunately i end up focus on them all equally which is not very long or much and thus I never get skilled at them.


But seriously, whats all this work and school gonna get me? A white collar job? Some office job where im gonna be climbiing the proverbial social ladder forever? Ugh, how retarded and boring. Not my style (Sorry if i offended anyone with that part. >


I guess it boils down to that I wanna be good at something! Not just something silly like mario brothers. I mean like, something amazing, something that will make people besides my family stop and go wow, that's awesome. Something that gives me a positive name, somthing that people will remember. i dont just mean in my local area, I mean the world over! XD


I know i know, thats a bit too lofty, but seriously, my self esteem for my skills is low. I'm tired of just trudging along in life, I wanna make a name for myself.

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I'd work on these skills more but I just don't have time...see, I actually have a sort of life. I'm really busy with college and work and I just don't have time to practice drawing, or writing, or playing music, etc. And I can't just focus on ONE thing because i love them all equally, I'd get bored if i did JUST music for a while, or JUSt writing. i love them all but unfortunately i end up focus on them all equally which is not very long or much and thus I never get skilled at them.


dude if you really loved any of these things you'd make the time. the peopl who excel in those arts don't make the time for them, they make the time for everything else. just face it if you're not good at any of these things. most guys aren't. and you don't need it to get respect from anyone. as long as you feel like you are worth less because of your lack of abilities, it will shine through to others. but lets face it, everyone is good at something. try to make people laugh, or be creative about how you spend your time. little things are what will make you interesting to people.

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The problem is that you are trying so hard to impress the world that you are losing sight of everything else. If Joe Cool can write amazing sappy poetry that makes the women swoon, who cares...what is Joe Cool's personality...that is what really matters. A woman of substance will not be taken in by all the smoke and mirrors. Just be yourself and don't worry about impressing people. If you feel comfortable within yourself then people will respect you anyway, even if you can't do fancy stuff on the computer. Back in previous centuries, women were considered accomplished if they could draw, paint, play piano and entertain. What a very limiting view of what is considered accomplished. We are not all talented at everything...we all have our limits...and there will always be somebody who does it better than we do. Look at figure skaters...they could win gold in the Olympics one year and the next year someone younger and better comes along and the old skaters are has-beens....Brian Boitano who?

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Most people with recognizable, laudable talents put more time, effort and practice into them than they let on. I draw, and people (outside my family, friends etc) notice and like it. What they think is that I'm blessed with talent from heaven. What they don't see is the fact that I practice it for hours every single day unless I'm sick, traveling or working extremely late. It's like a second job for me. I do it because the things i create do have meaning for people. The recognition comes, but recognition was not the goal. Pick something you like and focus on developing that one thing. You can't be good at everything, and it's lame to be mediocre at many things while calling yourself well-rounded.


No one was born knowing how to make good web media or how to write a killer song. What people don't see is the mountain of garbage songs that had to happen to learn how to make a good one.

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The only way to truly excell in the arts is to compete with yourself. I am a designer and when I would compare my work to everyone else I could always find something better. That is why most firms that I work with are all collaborative projects. What does that mean? We all lack some type of skill, and we all have something to bring to the table. I have done graphics for very very famous production companiies and slaved over them for hours and hours, days and days, only to have them ripped of the wall and rejected. Its hard, very hard, but I realised I was only going to compete with myself and nobody else. That was the only way to improve without steeling others ideas while developing my own style. Once you've done that you will have those who want to be like you, and believe me you will be sick of it. Stop comparing yourself to others, wear you own shoes and don't try to fill anyone elses. You will always find dissappointment when you do this. Its the Grass is Greener syndrome. Don't give up on being "Somebody," we all have that dream, its just all about staying in touch with who YOU are. Hope this helps and best wishes.

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yeah i am a musician (not as a full-time career) and i play and sing hours every day. when people hear me, i get a lot of compliments. other times, nobody says anything. if you wish to excel at something and actually do it, its gotta be a passion. it can't be for anybody else. find something you love more than anything else, and go for it. but do it for yourself or it won't make you any better off.

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"Those who seek greatness, rarely find it."

Thats true ya know. Just work hard at your field, whatever you perceive it to be, and greatness may find you. And remember, greatness is not so great all the time.


But searching for recognition in the way in which you seem to be doing, can only be dangerous and negative. It could lead to anything.


Youve got lots of talents, so just be yourself. A girl will be more impressed by a deep and meaningful than by you throwing poems at her.

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*Sings What would Brian Boitano do*


Thanks for the advice everyone. I kind of get the gist of what your saying here. I wont be able to turn a new leaf overnight or anything but I'll twy. First thing I gotta do is pick a passion from my repertoire and (Hopefully) stick with it. >.>

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi There,

I believe the recognition is with in you, you have to recognize yourself what you are good at and believe it. You say now you need some recognition, but it is really deep down reassurance from others. I have been there before and can say it took me a lot of years to work out what i was good at, now i know i am good at what ever i choose to do.


Cheers from Australia

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