Jealous of bf's friends??

[buffalosoldier]

Hey everyone,

 

I am finding myself becoming increasingly jealous of my boyfriends social life,and its causing me to start unecessary arguments.

 

I have a few close friends,not exactly what you would call a 'wide circle' but thats sort of due to the fact that the friends i have now are the ones who have stuck by me and have generally been decent to me over the years.-the rest treated me like crap and i refuse to have so called 'friends' that make me unhappy.

 

But my boyfriend has like a zillion friends and everyone seems to like him. But just recently ive been noticing that his 'friends' have some what drifted away and only really see my bf when they are bored or when they want a favour or something.-But yet they still seem to get priority alot of the time.I see my bf like twice a week,which means they have like three quarters of the week to see him,yet for some reason they still feel the need to muscle in on the time we have together.-He seems to get all excited when one of his 'friends' come round to see him,but all i see is them using him right underneath his nose.

 

I just feel like since i have been there for him through thick and thin and since ive stuck around when they havent i should get some priority for that.I realise its only natural to want to hold on to your friends,especially if you dont see much of them,but does this mean you have to stop giving attention to people that have always stood by you?I know at the beginning i said i was jealous..i am,jealous coz sometimes i feel i should have more going on in my life so that my bf wouldnt be such the centre of my world..but im also feeling upset that he hardly ever talks to me when we're not together unless his 'friends' arent there.hardly rings,texts,emails anything.Im starting to think that people that treat others like crap get the better deal in life,am i right?

 

Thanks for letting me vent,any comments or suggestions appreciated!!

[klw777]

Hiya,

 

I know where you are coming from with this and bet it felt good to have a rant

 

I am sure your bf appreciates you but it sounds like he is taking you for granted a little? have you actually told him this is how you feel or not? if not then you should, give him a chance to understand how you feel and react to it.

 

Even print off what you posted here and just let him read it?

 

I think that people that treat others like dirt often seem to be getting the upperhand for a while but in the long run they dont win.

 

My man drops everything for his mates (who are like how you describe your blokes and dont make much effort) and it really gets to me but i just let him get on with it and hope in the end he realises.

 

I also feel the same way that my life shouldnt revolve round my man quite so much and i am making an effort not to ALWAYS be there for him when he needs me because he isnt for me!!

 

Hope you sort it out!! x

[enadevoli]

we can't expect our boyfriends to always be with us at all times. they do need those times where they can just be with their friends too, just like they want & need time alone with us. if you feel like he isn't putting as much into the relationship as you are, then you need to talk to him about how you are feeling. actually, you should tell him how you are feeling any way. he might think that you are perfectly ok with how things are going, so let him know.

[colly]

Sorry to muscle in on your topic with a question of my own, im not sure i am allowed to do this?

 

But having a similar issue as you i would like to say that i too seem to have created myself a world where it is just her and i. For her, this is not the case.

 

I would not say this is entirely my own doing, as a poster said, i only have a few true mates now for varying reasons. And alot of thee have now moved on out of the area.

 

So....... when a poster said

 

"I also feel the same way that my life shouldnt revolve round my man quite so much and i am making an effort not to ALWAYS be there for him when he needs me because he isnt for me!! "

 

I would like to ask how you are going about putting that theory into place.

I DO want my world to revolve around her, but i know thats not possible.

 

If you read myother topic, my girlfriend is away at the moment and i feel like a spare part as i have nothing else to do and i jsut think about her.

 

So, to conclude. To the poster, you are not the only one with this problem, take some comfort in that (i do when i read the board)

 

To the person who replied, what are the steps you are taking.

 

Thankyou for your replies and advice in advance

 

colly