n707jt Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 As you can see in some of my other threads, I am actually currently dating a girl who went to the same highschool with me 6 years ago. Recently I've been chatting with her best friend online (another school mate of mine too) and have come to learn alot about her. Apparently her extended weekend trip to another city was actually out to visit some guy she has a thing for. The thing is, when I asked her, she told me she is actually there to visit a female friend. Of course, I totally understand that she is free to date and stuff but I am not comfortable by the fact that she kinda lied to me. I was wondering, how would you feel? Is her lie justifiable? Link to comment
rocio Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Why are you still with her? And why is she free to date if the two of you are dating? Are you not exclusive yet? Link to comment
n707jt Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 Well,I'm totally not into 2 timing girls cos I feel they really lack values. Plus, once our college vacation ends, we will be in different cities and its gonna be hard to maintain a relationship with her. Seriously, is there any people who are true out there? Link to comment
sweetharmony Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Well,I'm totally not into 2 timing girls cos I feel they really lack values. Plus, once our college vacation ends, we will be in different cities and its gonna be hard to maintain a relationship with her. Seriously, is there any people who are true out there? well, it sounds as though you should confront her when she gets back. it doesn't sound like a relationship, especially if you will be heading back home and she has already lied to you. sicne you are only dating, best to move on. Link to comment
Jayme Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Well, this kinda sucks. Maybe she lied to keep her options open? You guys are not really an item yet right? And how much can you trust this information that you got? Maybe you should just wait for her to come back to see whether she tells you about this. You have to be very tactful about this situation that you're in. I can understand your anger and stuffs, cause I'd be as well. Can you imagine if the girl finds out that you're checking up on her when you guys are not even together? Well, it can work both ways actually, showing jealousy might help as she might feel that she's been wanted etc. Well, it's a delicate situation. Link to comment
vrank Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 If she's lying this early, it will only get worse. Link to comment
n707jt Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 Ya we are not really her item yet and I understand the part that she might be keeping the option open. The information I got comes through her best friend of almost 7 years. In fact her best friend told me things like because of her good looks, she has plenty of suitors and knowing her, she told me I stand a very high chance because she seems to wanna hang out and chat with me. But because the other guy she is visiting goes to the same college as her, I would probably lose out to him as he has proximity and time on his side. Well, we might meet up for the new year countdown tonight. I am not even sure if I should pursue this whole thing with her anymore because I don't like games. Link to comment
Jayme Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 You should, but tactfully. If you guys really get together, it's gonna be an issue. And it can only hinder you guys from going further. If she speaks the truth, it'll be up to you if you wanna forgive her, let the matter pass and continue the pursue. But if you're those sticky with issues guy, then just be friends with her. You should really think about what her best friend says, even if you're with her, can you really get on with life without thinking about the whole, "because of her good looks, she has plenty of suitors.." thing? It kind of brings this up to a whole new level doesn't it? Link to comment
fastball2113 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 just pick one, hit it, and see where it goes....it cant hurt to try Link to comment
n707jt Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 You should, but tactfully. If you guys really get together, it's gonna be an issue. And it can only hinder you guys from going further. If she speaks the truth, it'll be up to you if you wanna forgive her, let the matter pass and continue the pursue. But if you're those sticky with issues guy, then just be friends with her. You should really think about what her best friend says, even if you're with her, can you really get on with life without thinking about the whole, "because of her good looks, she has plenty of suitors.." thing? It kind of brings this up to a whole new level doesn't it? I'm the sort of person who feels that if there's a first time, there will be a second time. Oh and the whole "new level" thingy because of her looks, well that could probably explain why she behaves like that? Idk... I will see how it goes and post updates here. Link to comment
n707jt Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 Well guys, I managed to go out with her for the new year's countdown and it seem pretty alright. We had a ball of a time with the fireworks and there was actually a really bad crowd pushing and squeezing and I had to put up my arms half the time to actually protect her from the rowdy people. I dunno if she feels anything but I guess that was male instinct going on in me lol. We actually went out with a bunch of friends but everytime if we had to drive from one place to another, she will be taking the front seat with me. We later went to a pub and she was again seated beside me. Later in the night (or morning I should say), we caught a movie. But somehow, some of our friends got in between of us and we did not manage to sit together. The thing is, I caught her catching a glimpse at me (as I did one on her). Later towards the end of the movie, I offered her my drink and she drank it off my straw (i dunno if that's like a sign or what). I drove her home thereafter and sent her a text saying "thanks for the great night" which she replied shortly with a "thank you for the great night too!". I was wondering if all these signs are pointing towards her interest in me because I feel like telling her how I feel very soon because any delay I feel will fall us into the friends zone. Comments? Oh and Happy 2008 guys =) Link to comment
Jayme Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Hey dude, the friends that you guys went out with, are you all mutual friends? Not to pour cold water on you, but maybe she's not familiar with them, that's why she sticks with you? Even though they're mutual, try to take it slow, you're unsure as she is, if you rush into a decision or something, it could ruin things that you guys have built. But ultimately, go with your heart, we here can give you advise, but the decision lies in your hands. Happy New Year to you too! Link to comment
n707jt Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 Yup we are all mutual friends and have known each other since high school 8 years ago! Well ya I will take it slow but we will all be in separate cities in 1.5 months when school starts and thats bothering me. dang. Link to comment
Jayme Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Well, you still have 1.5 months to be sure what you want, and this gives her time to know what she really wants, and who she wants to be with. You probably should have a serious talk with her about this, it helps to iron out issues that's been bothering both of you if any before you guys take the plunge. Make it less formal, a chill out kind of dinner with nice surroundings perhaps? My two cents. =) Link to comment
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