Lugh Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 After having a stressfull xmas which annoyed me because i was feeling good in the run up to it i started thinking again about why she broke up and why she felt that we had drifted apart and did she realise just how much pain and suffering she had caused me by it all. Then it struck me it doesnt matter why she left me and why she felt we drifted, it really doesnt , the simple facts are she changed and she wanted change in her life. it could have been my personality , my appearance or the fact that i wore a blue t shirt on a particular tuesday it still wont make a bit of difference to the outcome. does she realise that im hurting so bad while she seems to move on easily, she prob does i can honestly say that she would never have wished this pain on me and i dont know what pain she went through prior to the break up or after it but im sure it hurt her too. so what to do? i can sit here and annoy myself by asking the why question over and over again and wallow in the self pitying cesspoll or i can say it doesnt matter any more , shes gone and no amount of wallowing in that cess poll will do you any good. i used to complain that she had a hold over me and that i wished she would let go and let me on with my life, but she let go the day we broke up maybe before that. she has no hold over me it is i that have a hold on her. im clinging on for something that is not there anymore. now its time to loosen the grip and let go , the only person holding me back is me. IM LETTING GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes im sure that there will be plenty more cess pools along the way but i will plough right through them no more wallowing for me. IM LETTING GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!! The rest of my life awaits me , fortune favours the brave , the only thing that comes to those who waits is old age. Im letting go. Link to comment
v-neck Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 It's said that rejection is the major part of why we feel like this. Although you still have feelings for your past, the rejection factor makes you over-analyze yourself, pick out your bad qualities and habits and push the good-ones back into the dark. I know. I been there and slowly coming out of it. The only thing you can do is, appreciate the relationship you did have, theres alot of people out there who never get the chance to have a relationship for whatever reasons, although sometimes you wish you never met the person, I guarentee you when you think about it more, you're glad you did regardless of what happened. later `v-neck Link to comment
robert7x Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 It's actually a lot easier to say I'm letting go then doing it... I keep telling myself i'm letting go and there is no reason to feel like this... yet 3 minutes later i think about her and start missing her like crazy... I keep wandering what is she up to now and who is she making happy... Words are nothing but words... you can say whatever you want but until you actually start doing it it won't matter. I said a lot of things since she left, but i didn't do a damn thing... i'm still stuck on thinking that maybe she'll be back... maybe all this is just a bad dream that i'm going to wake up from soon and all... However, reality is tottaly diferent... I'm left alone with my pain and sadness while she is probably getting ready for the biggest party of the year. Link to comment
jdubs Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 Good for you, Lugh... Let go.... It's the only way to get yourself back. Take all of that energy you have been giving away and give it back to yourself. It is still hard. There are ups and downs. Just remember that you are worth more than someone who doesn't want you. Let them go so you can make room for someone new. When you are ready.... I highly recommend reading the thread about "loving someone who doesn't love you" a few posts down from the "getting past your past" site. It lays it all out there. It's exactly what I did. It was hard, but I am finally almost healed. Take care, J Link to comment
Andy_2007 Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 Letting go only really happens when you finally admit to yourself that they're NOT COMING BACK. I've only just realised this and I'm sure letting go will be a lot easier from now on. Link to comment
Lugh Posted December 30, 2007 Author Share Posted December 30, 2007 Robert i believe that the first step is the hardest, getting your ass out of the seat is the tough step, its time to get up and dance -you know the song! cheers jdubs thanks for the kind words, yes i did read that as well as a lot more on that blog very helpful, uplifting while kicking your ass, the best kind. andy youre on the right road mate keep going!!! Link to comment
CareBear53187 Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 Good for you. Keep repeating the letting go mantra when times get hard. Link to comment
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