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Gonna see the ex in two hours.

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I have a dilemma and I'm not sure how to handle it. My situation is that I've been in an on/off relationship with my ex for a year and a half, and I decided to do NC about three weeks ago. I admit that I broke NC on Christmas to wish him a merry Christmas. After that, he's been trying persistently to reestablish contact with me. At first I was responsive, but finally told him that I needed to stick to my guns and not talk to him anymore.


Tonight one of our close mutual friends is having a birthday party. Of course I want to go, but I'm also sure my ex will be there. What makes me so desperate is that I don't see any successful way of dealing with this.


I could:


a) Not go. I would spare myself any heartache or embarrassment, but I would also let a close friend down. I'm sure he would understand, but I truly do want to go to this party, see my friends, and try to have a good time. The vast majority of my friends are going to be there and I have no alternative plans, except to sit home alone if I choose not to go.


b) Go, and rekindle things with the ex. I can almost guarantee that this is a possibility because it has happened a million times before in our dramatic on/off relationship. I could easily see us both being drunk and going home together, because it has happened so many times before. Though I'm sure this would make us both happy in the short run, don't worry, because that is NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO. If I planned on doing this, I'd just go out, and I wouldn't be writing here.


c) Go, and avoid or be civil with the ex. This seems like my most likely option, but I guarantee it will break my heart. My only hope is that I can emotionally break down in private and not in front of him.


I just don't know what to do. What do you think? Should I go to this party, and if so, how do I act towards him? This is so upsetting for me, because so many of our friends are mutual and I don't want to be going through this forever.

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You want to go so you should go. It will probably be impossible to avoid him completely, so be civil...there's no reason not to be. However, if you really feel that you might emotionally break down it might be a good idea leave early if you feel you're going to lose it (and don't drink too much).


You said you've been on/off again for a year and a half...maybe it's time to decide what you really want in a relationship and decide whether or not you feel this relationship is holding you back from achieving that.

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Hey all,


It actually went about as well as it could have. When I walked in the door he gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. However, for the next couple hours, things were very awkward. He didn't speak with me at all and was actually being a little rude. He decided to leave early, and approached me to say goodbye. He said "It was nice to see you." I probably said the wrong thing when I scoffed and said "Really? You didn't talk to me." He apologized and told me I looked very pretty. We talked for a bit, and then he hugged me and left.


I was a little shaken up by the incident, as it was only the second time my ex and I have hung out as friends since the beginning of our on/off relationship. But it went pretty well, I thought.


However, he called me around 2 AM, but I was already asleep and missed his call. He then texted me the next day to see how I was doing.


The whole situation makes me very nervous. We were very cordial with each other, but there was still a sexual tension and I'm sure that we both still love each other a lot. We both just know that we are no good for each other and can't give each other what we need. I'm scared he's trying to reestablish some sort of connection with me, which I want (of course), but I know it's bad for me in the long run. I know that all I need to do is send him a text that says "Come over" and he'd be here in a second. Self-control is so hard, when he's the person I'm in love with

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Glad to hear it went well and you were civil except the comment, I guess I would have said the same thing. As for the text did you respond. If not good, if you did were you civil. However if you did not wait till he text you again and see what he wants.

I don;t blame you on how you feel. It is tough. YOu will get thru it but again who knows anything can happen. At least you went and did not let your best friend down

Keep us posted

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