Should we just be friends? Or am I ruining our prospects of a relationship?

[GettingBetter]

Beginning of summer, I went out a few times with this girl. Things seemed great, although after about the fourth date or so, we stopped talking (she stopped returning my calls). My friends said it was because I didn't show enough interest in her, and convinced me to call her again and to be more honest about my interest in her, so I did. She finally returned my call, and we started talking again, although during the time we had stopped talking we each moved, and now we live several hours apart. We recently went out, and things seemed much like they did before, although I'm really not sure what to make of things.

 

I really like her, but to be perfectly honest, considering the distance between us, and the fact that we're both incredibly busy between school and work, and will be for the next few years still, I think we'd be better off as friends for now (which is part of why I haven't been so obvious about my interest, although I conventionally suffer from under-aggression anyways). Maybe we'll just get together during breaks from school. However, in times past, it seems that when I just want to remain friends with someone who's interested, they typically lose interest--and I certainly don't want that to happen, because I really do like her. But a relationship at this point would seem difficult.

 

And with regards to whether she is in fact interested or not, I really have no clue. I'm very inept in that department (hence my under-aggression), and so I'm relying on my friends' judgment--that she is, or at least was interested, and I'm failing to show enough interest.

 

Any advice you guys and gals can offer? Should I just try to remain friends? Could I be hurting her feelings and/or our prospects of a relationship by not showing enough interest? Or, should I just let her know how I really feel about her and us? (And doesn't it seem this last option might make things a little more awkward between us, considering the other obstacles such as distance and lack of free-time?)

[LE DHUY NHUT]

If you want to be just friends just keep your feelings hidden.If you want her as your girlfriend then ask her out,flirt,touch,smile,laugh etc etc.Act like a boyfriend and you have a better chance but stay friends and that's just what you'll remain.If you can't make the effort because of distance,time,work,school etc then leave her alone because maybe you don't really like her that much to fit her into your busy life.

[dd]

Seems to me she is not your Heather Locklear. If you really like her, you would make a little time for her in your busy schedule. She is probably also busy too.....

 

Sorry....

[v-neck]

You already made up your mind in your first few senteces... you live to far apart and are both very busy... let time tell.

[GettingBetter]

You already made up your mind in your first few senteces... you live to far apart and are both very busy... let time tell.

I just hope that by waiting and being patient / mostly just friends pro tempore, I'm not hurting our chances of getting together in the future. I guess that's my real question. Any idea?

 

Seems to me she is not your Heather Locklear. If you really like her, you would make a little time for her in your busy schedule. She is probably also busy too.....

 

Sorry....

I'm sorry, but I don't know who Heather Locklear is (I don't watch TV). We still talk during the school year, but there's really no feasible way for us to get together unless it's a long weekend or break.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

Well someone else will come along and snap her up,you know.Two people liking each other is not enough unless BOTH of them want to be together.You're gambling on the future being less busy than now and her being available when you're ready.It doesn't work that way most of the time so either seize the chance now or move on to someone else who's closer to where you live.

[ghost69]

make your move. why do you need more friends?

 

what is a female friend going to provide you that you needed before? how to do your nails, hair, etc?