Dating a crush from high school years later...

[fivespot]

Ok, I know I think I'm getting desperate but anyway...

 

I had a crush on a girl way back in high school, and from what I could tell, she liked me. She was one of the few girls that would actually talk to me on the phone! Wow lol! And while we never dated, we always made plans to.

 

So this one night, we were on the phone and she was crying, but she wouldn't tell me why. I told her she could tell me anything and she said she was scared about starting college. Then she said she didn't want a boyfriend because of college, blah blah blah.

 

I didn't take it well, and the next day at school I told my best friend about how she had been leading me on the whole time and whatnot. It got back to her and we got into a huge fight and she eventually said I betrayed her trust.

 

Ok, fast-forward 8 years later. Here we are, both out of college now, and both single.

 

As many of you know, I'm still healing from a really nasty breakup. But I want to start dating again. My question is, is it a bad idea to go back to this girl and ask her out on a date? She's my friend on myspace and I'm soooo tempted to throw the idea out there...

 

But I don't know how she'll take it. Will it make me look desperate? Even though she's my friend on myspace, it doesn't seem like she has any interest in how I'm doing as she replies to my "how are you?"s but she never asks about me.

 

My mom wants me to do it, only because I've been in such a nightmare state since the breakup of the love of my life. But my brother says it's a bad idea to go back to someone that didn't want to have anything to do with me so many years ago.

 

So what do you guys think? Thumbs up or thumbs down, based on what I told you? I did call her maybe a year out of high school to apologize about the way I handled things in high school, but that's the last I've spoken to her...outside myspace.

 

I can see my bro's point, especially if she was to turn me down. But I've always liked her. I really don't know what to do. This girl and I both have one thing in common...we don't forgive and forget easily, and that's what's really what's holding me back. I'm not afraid of being turned down...I guess I'm more afraid of looking like a creep.

 

Can someone offer some help? Thanks!

[NewPhillyGuy]

The past is in the past. People change. I see nothing wrong with you asking her out. You are not going to know how she feels until you try. Do it, and you will have your question answered. Worst case - she's not interested. No biggie, cause plenty of fish in the sea, bro.

[greensleeves]

The past is in the past. People change. I see nothing wrong with you asking her out. You are not going to know how she feels until you try. Do it, and you will have your question answered. Worst case - she's not interested. No biggie, cause plenty of fish in the sea, bro.

 

I agree with this...if you don't ask you'll never know. You don't want to look back on your life someday wondering "what if". Take a chance, if she says no, that's okay, it's no reflection on you as a person, it just means this particular girl isn't in the cards for you...but what if she says yes"?

[fivespot]

Thanks so much you guys! You're both right...and I shouldn't make a big deal about it either way. I asked her to hang out when she has some free time after new years.

 

Let's see what she says. I don't care if she says no...I'm just glad I did it. Thanks again guys!

[greensleeves]

I asked her to hang out when she has some free time after new years. QUOTE]

 

Great approach! I hope it works out for you...good luck

[n707jt]

I am actually also asking a crush from my high school out.... 6 years later. Well, she recently got out of a 5 years relationship too. I'm not too sure if its a good idea but I've posted my situation on another thread and the other members have encouraged me to go ahead. So I would like to tell you to go hang out with her and see how things go. You've got nothing to lose. =)

[Superfreak]

Looking back I can't imagine wanting to date any girl I had a crush on in highshool. Highschool wasn't so long ago but I've changed so much and looking back, after some of the women I've met in the intervening period, the girls that were considered the most desireable in highschool never really deserved it. I can all but guarantee that should there ever be a highschool reunion, most of the desireable girls in highschool, and most of the "cool" guys too (with the exception of me of course, hehe) will not have made anything of themselves since then. I can already see signs of this on facebook.

 

Makes you realize how immature I was in highschool thinking "If I could just get this girl to be my girlfriend, I'd be happy the rest of my life!" The reality is that your highschool represents such a ridiculously tiny portion of the population and tends to be filled with such idiots with peer pressure and hormones and kids rebelling against nothing desperately trying to fit in that the idea of finding the love of your life there I just can't really imagine.

 

As for my advice to you, Congrats on going through with it, you should have called her instead though rather then just leaving her a message on myspace or whatever. If she does say yes, you'll want to impress upon her that this is a "date" and not just an old friends getting together type of thing. If she doesn't say yes, well there's lots of other girls out there, I suspect that this one was just attractive to you because she's the most easily reachable at the moment so if you just put yourself out there or expand your social circle, you'll find another girl soon enough. Good luck.