How do you guage a relationship?

[reed]

Ok, so I'm not a teenager, but I never quite had a real loving relationship with a woman. I am now in a relationship with a woman and we love each other and have a lot of fun together. I think the relationship is great, except for a few episodes here and there (I am learning to trust). My question is, is there some kind of scale or checklist, or even some way to know how good a relationship really is?

[Parsley]

My experience would say no. If there were, I wouldn't have had reason to find ENA! I would say that the only way to know anything about a relationship is to listen to what your instincts say. Would you say that these episodes are getting fewer and further between? Are you learning to trust?

[Rhonda 2]

Well Reed- I suppose we could come up with a checklist for you- like an aircraft commander might use before take off:

 

Do we still have interesting conversation y or n

Does she keep herself groomed for me

Am I still finding out new things about her

Does she tell me she loves me without a prompt

Do we do interesting things together

Can we settle are disagreements promptly and dispassionately

Do we still trust each other

do I look forward to coming home

Does she?

Does she anticipate and meet my needs

Does she still do her share of household chores

 

I could go on and on, and I'm sure other girls will have their ticks to offer. In fact we could go on to weight each value and thus develop a scale for measuring love. On the other hand we could just ask you if you feel loved by this person.

 

Rhonda

[reed]

I do feel loved. Maybe I should rephrase my question: What are the key components of a good relationship. In other words, what is needed to have a healthy relationship?

[Rhonda 2]

Hi again Reed. Well I think the points on that checklist are some of the essential components of love. As I indicated there are many more, But I'm giving you the experience of a 53 year old woman who has loved and been loved by many men. If you can't answer yes to each of those- its not love- it passion,infatuation, something. And I'll give you one more point- each of the partners must actively work on their spousel roles. I always asked myself- what does this man need now, and am I giving it to him. I failed in marriage not because of my committment- I hung on to the bitter end when I got beat up. He had given himself over to alcohol and I was not important anymore.

 

Anyway- sorry for the personal peep.

 

Rhonda

[maxo]

If the relationship is real, you will fight.

 

Because she cares and is showing you want she really believes.

 

If everything is perfect, either she is a doormat or she is just having fun.