I'm Back!! First Real Fight: How to Handle it?!....

[NyGentleman]

Well if you don't know me already, I was the one who wouldn't give up on a girl who had never gotten over her ex.... All the red flags were there and even though we knew eachother for 2 yrs as friends i thought i could make it work...

Well long story short it did...eventually... and now its been 7 whole months of a solid real relationship (with no ex's in the way what so ever) ...

 

So now its 7 months, we had a hard time this Christmas being that our families were on opposite sides of the state ... so unfortunately we never saw eachother, but we did spend the weekend prior with eachother and i even gave her my gift early (a very nice promise ring) ....

 

Fast forward to now, we have a chance to spend a week together alone, so of course i thought how great it would be to get some friends together on one night out of the week and all have a get together. Well up until now it was up in the air, today everyone popped out of the wood work and wants to get together, great, well kind of....

 

So I told the girl the new plan, she flips out....reason being none of her friends won't be there, solution, i had already invited some, they never got back to me, she began flipping out even more and said she wasn't coming to see me anymore for the week and she wasn't going to come to the party. I flipped out, frustrated as all hell said some things and hung up ... We haven't talked since, its been about 2hrs ...

 

Background: she had just got home from some shopping (we don't live together) and in her house major drama, ... her living arrangements are kinda interesting but thats another story ... (parent like figure who is always nasty to her) ... This is where i think she gets the random bursts of negativity...

 

Now what? I can't call everyone and tell them not to come, do I ? Its hard enough now a days to get everyone together with there busy schedules ...

And in a more positive note last night we were making romantic dinner plans for New Years ... So yea this is seriously random ...

[Seymore]

Hey, you made the effort. Did she call any of her friends? Sounds like YOU did. They never got back to you. It's not your fault at all, and she should understand that you tried.

 

I guess I'm lucky in that my girlfriend doesn't really seem to care - as long as she's with me, she's fine, usually. If we're going out with a group of people I ask if she wants to invite her friends, and they always have their own plans.

[St00f]

It doesn't seem like she is communicating very well, and maybe you aren't either. Did you change plans with her from a romantic dinner to hanging out with friends? Maybe she isn't really upset because she cant hang out with friends but because you changed plans on her for new years.

 

It seems like you guys should communicate and try to be understanding and plan something out that works for both of you.

 

Hope this helps

[Seymore]

I don't think the party and the dinner were on the same night. If so, then well, yeah, you need to communicate.

[NyGentleman]

Yeah no the party is on a different night than New Years...sorry for the misconception ....

 

and it has nothing to do with like stuff about us having this romantic week together, i mean yeah i wanted to have that as well, but one night to get everyone together isnt that bad of an idea either ...

 

Something about her not having her own friends there made her flip out, but i think it goes beyond that because when she walked into her house i could hear someone like getting on her for stuff for no reason ....

 

I don't know but tomorrow is that day we were suppose to see eachother to start the week, now what, neither one of us is on speaking terms and i dont think i did anything wrong .... ](*,)

[Seymore]

Well, no matter - she shouldn't take anything out on you for whatever reason. Especially not the way she did - that was harsh. So I suggest you don't see each other tomorrow. Respect her wish, and let her come to terms with what she said to you. She'll think about it.

 

But whatever you do, DON'T beat yourself up over it. It's a nice thing you tried to do.

[NyGentleman]

Thanks,

 

Yeah something is def. up and wrong with that picture, but i'm not caving just annoyed about how she isn't calling me at this point, she has to know that was just wrong ...

[Seymore]

Give it time.

[ghost69]

she must be having some family problems during the holidays. maybe you are her vent. i dunno. something is def wrong though. i think you plans are great. if it was a problem she should have been like 'i wanted to spend time alone....' 'i have something planned for us....' 'that day isn't going to work out'.